12/4/02:

No dreams last night. But I had a very frightening nightmare a few nights ago, and I'm just typing it now. It involved waking up in a very strange manner... almost like someone woke me up who wasn't there... very creepy:
    I seemed to be "living" inside the FOX TV show "King of the Hill", I was animated and everything... in fact I seemed to be the Peggy Hill character. I was in the bedroom of the Hill's house... it was night time, everything was animated... and my husband Hank Hill was in their with me. I saw that we both had separate beds. We were both in our pajamas, and the lights were out... and I saw the moonlight coming in the window next to my bed. It lit up the bed so I could see a large leather belt and a handkerchief  lying on the bed. Hank and I seemed to be having an argument about trying out "kinky" sex... like Hank wanted to try it out more in our love lives and I was reluctant (this is all animated, with me as Peggy, and seemed to be a basic plot device in a typical 'King of the Hill' show). I was re-assuring Hank that I would try some kinky sex stuff in the future when the time was right for me... just "not tonight." This made us argue more, and that twangy guitar instrumental show music kept punctuating what we were saying to each other.. We got in an argument and at one point I said "Lower your voice or Bobby will hear you!" in my Peggy voice.
    We started arguing more so finally I said to Hank "Okay... okay fine. I will be kinky! You want to see kinky? I'll show you kinky mister! Boo-ya!" and I run over to my bed where the belt and handkerchief are and I tie the belt tightly around my own wrists and put the handkerchief around my mouth (without the use of my hands somehow) and I hold my bound hands up in the air and look at Hank with my bound mouth and say something like "Mhpff! Mmmphfff mumuuh mphffff puh puh mum muh mphff!" but for some reason when I look over at Hank I can't see his face... just his animated torso. Suddenly the animated bedroom around us grows very dark... just the animated moonlight streaming in. Everything seems to get "evil" or something... I sense this very sinister vibe... we also don't seem to be "on the air" or living inside the TV show anymore, but are still animated and are still Peggy and Hank.
    Hank runs up behind me and very calmly grabs the slack end of the belt around my wrists and pulls my arms up high in the air... cutting off the circulation to my hands. It hurts. He now seems to have a cord that he wraps around my neck and pulls from the back to choke me. The gag around my mouth is very tight now and I can't yell. He pulls the cord around my neck tighter and tighter and I feel like he is going to kill me... I know he is. I try to scream or move away but can't I feel like I am going to die...  for real... it's terrifying... I know I am being murdered... and I am still animated Peggy inside the TV show.
    Here is the strange wake up part:
    I must have been sleeping on my right side, kind of curled up. I was awoken from the nightmare by what felt like somebody tapping me five times very strongly on my right, lower back with their fingers. It felt like someone in the room tapped me very quickly in succession five times... using the points of two fingers... on my back... to wake me up. Also, when I felt the finger jabs in the dream and they woke me up... I heard five gun shots to go along with all five taps. It really, really felt like the taps were not part of the dream (although the gun shot sounds were obviously part of the dream). It really, really, really felt like someone was trying to rustle me out of sleep. Like someone was in the room there with me. It was very real.
    When I felt the "taps" I immediately woke up and kind of gasped and turned around to see who was in my apartment. No one was there. Just the dark apartment very late at night. I got right up and checked the door... it was locked. I was very scared and kind of shaking. I checked the whole apartment and made sure no one was there. My roommate Guillaume was fast asleep in his room with the door very shut. It couldn't have been him... he sleeps like a log and wouldn't do something like that anyway. I stayed up most of the rest of the night, very freaked out and pacing my apartment. I had that same feeling that what I had experienced in the dream was very "profound" and "important" and that my mind or something was trying to tell me something... like the times I dreamed about the death figure right before I found out I had testicular cancer.

12/5/02:

    I am in some living situation where I live in this giant home with a bunch of people. The home has giant, thick, white concrete walls that are constructed in interesting ways all over the structure. There is royal blue industrial carpet all over all the floors. There are all kinds of angles rooms and long hallways and split level areas with carpeted stairs - lots of good use of open space and hanging indoor bridges and walkways and balconies... a bunch of skylights that use that bubbled frosted glass.. some areas with plants (like an indoor greenhouse). The whole place looks like a modern, brand newly built school somewhere in a new suburb in the south.
    I live there with a bunch of people I don't know. It often seems to be night time, or dusk or dawn outside. There seem to be many, many garages in the house... that have mechanical doors that open to the outside. I think at one time when I was in one of the garages and the door was open I saw that it was snowing outside. I think my brother, mom and dad may live in the house. It seems like whenever my dad is around he is coming into one of the garages in his car, getting out and walking into the house (wearing a business suit) - like he is coming home from work.
    I seem to be working on some project with this Spanish guy who looks like, or may be, the actor Wilmer Valderrama. I keep taking these things that look like cardboard boxes with clear plastic on the front (like you would see a child's doll packaged in in a toy store) off a shelf and putting them on the floor in a certain order. Wilmer and I are sprawled out on the floor looking at all the boxes. We seem to be attaching them at the back so they are like pages in a book (a very thick book). We seem to have attached the backs with binding glue or maybe even yarn.  We are looking at the book, folding the box/pages over one by one and looking at them. Each box/page seems to have different groups of photos or memorabilia attached to it, in little cardboard compartments on each box. It is snowing outside and that gray snow light is coming through the large windows in the room and reflecting off the royal blue carpet on the floor.
    Suddenly I come across this box/page that has a cloth wrapped around it. I take the cloth off and see that there is a large gray scorpion curled up inside one of the compartments on that particular box. It's alive. I freak out a little and show Wilmer. We are looking at the scorpion and trying to figure out what to do. We decide to cover it up and put it back on the shelf.
    Later we are in another part of the house. Time has passed. It is night time. The part of the house we are in looks just like a small grocery store... with aisles of food and cash registers and fluorescent lighting. The front of the store is a glass wall that opens like a garage door... which it does when my dad drives up, home from work, and parks his car inside the grocery store/garage. He gets out of his car and asks us what we are doing. We have the box/book thing on the floor (the one with the scorpion in it) and it is still covered. We slowly start to unwrap the box as my dad walks away. We see a wet spot on the cloth with some matter around it that looks like squashed scorpion. Uh ooh! Was the scorpion somehow smashed during the night?
    Suddenly there is a scenario shift. Me and Wilmer are in a different part of the house that looks like a cafeteria or maybe an airport lobby. It seems that during all this time... there has been a movie that is being filmed in the house (or maybe a movie that is 'occurring' in different areas of the house live like a play, each part of the house is a different set, and the 'film' happens in these sections regardless of whether there is anyone there to see it or not - strange). I don't know what the 'film' is about. What I do know, though, is that my friend Flloyd is in it... he is playing the part of Carrot Top in the movie... for some reason. Whenever Wilmer and I see a "scene" occurring in a part of the house I look for Flloyd. I see lots of people in different scenes that have big orange wigs on but they never seem to be Flloyd. Plus for some reason in the dream I seem to be having a hard time remembering exactly what Flloyd looks like. There is a "scene" happening in the cafeteria area and I am looking for Flloyd. I don't see him, but I see a lot of people from the old New York nightlife scene from the past that I know. they are in costume. I can't seem to remember their names.
    Then a scenario shift: I am with Wilmer at the very back end of a long, long hallway in the house. Way at the other end of the hallway it is open into the outside of the house (it is night time and snowing very heavily). The hallway is made of the white concrete walls and royal blue carpet, and there is nothing else in the hall, like no doors or windows or anything. Just a loooooong stretch of hallway. At out end are two podiums and two video cameras. We seem to be filming something or auditioning something. We seem to have assistants there that screen people as they walk in (from the far end of the hall that is open to the outside) and then they send them way down to us at the other end and we videotape them doing something. This seems to have something to do with the "film" that is happening in the building.
    I see a very tall, large man and a shorter friend approach the assistants at the far end of the hall. They are both wearing black executioner's hoods with slits for eyes. They talk to the assistants (we can barely hear them because they are so far away) and then get sent down to us. The assistants that operate the cameras turn on their cameras and get ready. The guys reach us and they still have their hoods on. I tell the tall guy to stand against one of the walls and answer some questions for me. First I tell him to take his hood off. He does. Then I ask him questions. His friend that is with him, who is standing with his back to me and holding a pad of paper and pencil and writing on it, keeps turning around and asking me questions about the film and then writing my answers on his pad. Whenever I answer a question he looks at his tall friend knowingly and writes it down. I am auditioning the tall guy while this is occurring so the questions and answers keep getting mixed up. I start to suspect that the two guys aren't auditioning at all, but are there to investigate what we are doing, for some reason.

12/6/02:

No dreams.

12/7/02 - 12/11/02

Oops skipped a few days.

12/12/02:

    I seem to be returning from a road trip around the United States. I am in someone's home and it is daylight outside and I seem to be packing to go back home. The person who lives in the home is alternately Jennifer Sharpe (from sharpeworld.com) or Amy Sedaris. It seems that I was set to drive all around the US but I stopped once I was in Texas and decided to just come home and spend the rest of the money I had for the trip on bills. I am packing, and Amy comes into the room, she asks me how long until I am gone. I tell her not long and continue packing. Suddenly I am laying down on an air mattress in the room and Amy is laying on top of me. She is telling me she has always found me attractive. It's hard to tell if she is joking or not. I am thinking "She came from a really cool family."
    Then a slight scenario shift: I'm still in the same house but now Jennifer lives there. I am still packing, and she is letting in this computer repairman who is going to fix her computer. She has many computers in her house. She is dressed up and looks like she is about to go somewhere. She asks me how long until I am leaving. I tell her not long. While the computer guy (who has a giant tool belt and tool box) is fixing one computer, Jennifer is in the next room (that has an open half-wall separating it from the one I am in) and she is sitting at another computer. She realizes that that computer is broken too. She asks the computer guy if he can fix it also. He says another guy has to repair that kind, and that he is already on his way. Jennifer looks in her purse and pulls out a dime and slaps it on the counter and says "Well I hope he only charges ten cents because that's all I have!"
    Then (time seems to have passed) I notice what I think is a big black plastic toy spider in the doorway separating the two room. I look closely and see that it is moving. It's HUGE! And it has this strange design kind of carved into it's black back. I'm like "Aaaggghhh!" Jennifer runs over to look and I step away. I yell "Step on it Jennifer!" and I look and see that Jennifer is switching back and forth between Amy and Jennifer. Jennifer/Amy steps on it and it makes that awful wet crunching sound. We both look at the giant smashed spider. Jennifer is just Jennifer again. I run and get my camera to take a picture of the squashed spider.
    Scenario change: I am in a big, long room with hardwood floors and an "A" ceiling - like a converted attic. There is this weird futon thing in there that has a kind of hot tub way up on the top of it... so you are sitting in a hot tub when you sit on the couch... kind of. I am in the hot tub/futon thing and I am sitting there with someone who is alternately  Jim and my old college friend Ray.  He keeps switching back and forth between the two people. There is no water in the hot tub... it is dry and we are sitting in there with our clothes on.  I look across the room and see what looks like a big snail against the wall. I see the slimy neck of the snail stick out of the shell and the snail slowly starts to work it's way across the floor to us. Suddenly, when I sense that the snail "sees" us... I see this configuration of bright lime green spider legs pop out from the bottom of the shell and this allows the snail to scurry and skip really quickly across the floor and under the futon/hot tub thing we are in. I tell Ray/Jim "Hahahahaha! Oh my God look!" We both poke our heads over the edge of the futon and see the snail crouched against the wall on the floor way under the futon. Suddenly it's little fluorescent green legs pop out again and it quickly scurries over to me and jumps into my long hair... which was hanging down because my head was upside down looking under the couch. I start laughing and saying "Hahaha! Get it off! Hahaha!" Suddenly the snail does this weird thing with my hair. It scurries all over my head and pulls all my hair back to the back of my head and holds it there. Then it stops moving. It's sitting still on the back of my head with all the ends of my hair being held in it's legs (neatly and smooth - not a hair out of place) and the snail itself looks like an old ladies hair bun. It's like I have my hair pulled back in a bun now, thanks to the mutant snail. Jim/Ray and I are like "Haha! Oh my God! Haha!" cracking up laughing and I say to Jim/Ray "Go get my camera and take a picture! Quick!" He runs off.
    Scenario change: I am on a city street somewhere (don't know where) with Jim. We seem to be traveling. Jim is looking frantically for a place to eat and I am kind of following behind him. Jim is just Jim at this point in the dream. It is sunny day light outside. It looks like a small city, not New York City. We come upon this pizza place that is right on the corner of an intersection. Jim walks in and looks at the old guy behind the counter (who owns the pizza place). We see that the old guy is smoking a cigar. There are these gray plastic table-bussing trays on the counter with big pieces of salami and pepperoni and slabs of mozzarella cheese and basil and dough and stuff. Jim grabs the trays and looks around in them. The old guy just stands there. Jim throws his hands up in the air and says to the old guy "These are just ordered through the mail! These are from the ________ ________ Generic Pizza Ingredient Company mail order kit! These aren't fresh ingredients! This is a ready made kit to make pizza with you big phony!" (he said the name of some company but I can't remember what). Then he storms out. I am shocked because Jim never acts like this. We walk across the street and as we do I look back and see that the old pizza shop guy has walked out of the glass doors of his store and has a double barrel shot gun. He is wearing long underwear, big black boots, a hunting cap with ear flaps, sunglasses and a cigar. He is looking for Jim to shoot him. I yell to Jim "Oh my god look out!" We are still crossing the street so we kind of split up. I see the old man pointing his gun at Jim, who is more out in the open than me, so I yell to the old guy "No! Over here! Here! Here! Here!" and the old guy turns his gun towards me and fires. He misses and the impact from the gun firing makes the old man fall back onto some trash cans. He doesn't get up. Jim and I sit on the curb on the other side of the intersection and watch where the old man fell down. We are all freaked out. Also, it is weird that no one on the street really noticed. I pull out my cell phone to call the police. As I dial 911, I realize that the operator is going to be speaking in French. I say to Jim "When the 911 operator comes on, I'll hand the phone to you because I don't speak French." Jim says "Okay." This is weird because, I am not in France (in the dream - at least I don't think) and Jim does not speak French.

12/13/02:

    I'm living in my old college dorm. I seem to be going back to college for some reason.  I think this is the day that everyone has just moved in. It is night time and I am walking from my room across the lobby to another room where I am going to meet some friends. I meet with my friends and I am in their room looking at myself in the sink mirror as I talk to them. At one point I notice that their is a large ballroom attached to their room... somehow... that has turquoise colored industrial carpet and wood panel walls and a red stage. I just keep talking to them. I think one of them may be my old college friend John. As I am looking in the mirror I am cutting my hair into this outrageous 80's New Wave haircut. I am also dyeing parts of it black and then bleaching other parts of it. I am looking in the mirror at the black dye running down part of my face as I slop it (and a lot of water from the sink) on my head. I notice I can put water on the parts I dyed black and it turns that awful burnt orange color like when you bleach your hair from a home kit. I think my hair looks really good like this... all wet and with stuff running down my face. I tell my friends I have to run back to room and take a picture of myself like this. I run really fast and hope that none of the stuff dries as I run through the building. When I get back to my room I look in my sink mirror and see that everything has dried off my face and my hair is all one gray color... when I run my fingers through the hair black specs of dust fly out. I see that my old dorm roommate Kelly is there. He is moving in. He has some music on the stereo. I ask him if it is the group Cluster. He says yes.

12/14/02:

    I'm in some weird nowhere town with someone who might be Matt. We are hanging around some intersection where there are yards and suburban homes. It may actually be a large back alley intersection. The neighborhood is rundown. The backyards have no fences and are just open. It is daytime and windy and kind of cloudy. We have gone to the backyard of one of the houses and are hanging out in the backyard of the house with the lady who lives there. There are clotheslines with clothes hanging on them. We are sitting in lawn chairs drinking soda out of dark brown glass bottles - like beer bottles. The soda tastes like ginger beer. For some reason I have to go to the house on the other side of the alley and get something from the back porch of that house. It seems that the woman who lives in that particular house is known for being very mean and the "Hey you kids get outta my yard" type of person. Matt and the woman are egging me on like "Do it! Just run over there and do it really fast!" So I quietly walk over there. I am cracking up laughing. I am hiding behind one of those giant green metal electric boxes in the back of suburban homes. It is humming. Suddenly I see the "mean" old woman come out onto her back porch and start hanging clothes. I get real still and watch her. I keep waiting for something to happen but nothing does.
    Then a scenario shift: I am in some room, I think in the same town. I am having a problem with all these little leaks in the roof of the room I am in. I keep having to arrange little buckets with towels in them to catch all the water falling/dripping from the ceiling. I am also trying to take a nap and this is making it very difficult. Suddenly I decide to go upstairs and see what is causing the leak. As I do, I realize that I am in an old house I grew up in, in Plano, Texas by Big Lake Park. I go upstairs and realize the leak is in a room that my brother lived in at one point. I go into the room and see that it is my old room from high school (yet that room should be the one I just left - downstairs - that room is downstairs, not up from this one - odd). The furniture and everything are the same as they always were. I look in the bed and see my old NYC club friend Sherry Vine laying in my bed. She is in full drag. I am like "Hi Sherry! There is a bad leak downstairs... can I see what's going on here?" and she's like "Sure!" Apparently Sherry is working on a play or a film or something and is resting here in-between takes or daily working on the set or whatever. I look and see that there are a bunch of old leaks in this room, coming from the ceiling, also. They look like old leaks that happen sporadically - the ceiling is badly stained where the leaks are. I look down and see that the spots where the leaks dripped down onto have, over time, ruined some of my stacks of record albums and books. I am like "Oh no!"  and for a second I instinctively blame Sherry but then I realize it's not her fault... she's just staying in this rom and doesn't know anything about it. I cover the stacks of records and books with plastic and ask her to let me know if any more leaks happen. I tell her "I'll be right downstairs." She smiles real big and is like "Sure!"
    Then I kind of "see" the edited, finished version of the film that Sherry seems to be working on while staying in my old house. It seems to have been filmed at the front door of the club The Cock. It shown a fast-motion montage of Sherry walking out of the bar with different weirdly dressed person after weirdly dressed person. It seems to imply that she just leaves the bar night after night with a different "trick". Many of the shots show her holding money in her hand as she leaves. They always have big smiles on their faces as they leave and seem to be in a big hurry. In each edit, Sherry is wearing a different outfit - to imply a different night. Many of the people she leaves with are other drag queens. I recognize a lot of these people. There is wacky music playing with the quickly edited scene. In the last one, I see the un-edited part after the scene is done - like I'm on set - of Sherry and the person stopping once they are out of frame and dropping character and adjusting their outfits... getting ready for the next shot.

12/15/02:

No dreams.

12/16/02:

    There is some scenario where I am at a strange mall. It kind of reminds me of the mall attached to Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas - minus the cloud paintings on the ceilings. There is some situation where I think I live inside one of the stores... it's like a normal apartment except the front wall is a glass mall store front. I seem to be having a party. The apartment is filled with people I seem to know in the dream only. I think a lot of guests were coming up to me at various points complaining about various problems with the apartment and party. At one point I think I left the party and started walking through the mall. It seemed to be early morning, and many of the stores were just opening up. It seemed at this point that maybe the mall was also an airport. At one point I passed what looked like one of those galleries you see in malls that sell pre-framed prints and reproductions of decorative sculptures. I can see inside the glass that the owners of the gallery also have a big stove behind the cash register. They make breakfasts to go at this gallery and sell them to people in the mall. They have a microphone behind the stove and a loudspeaker outside the store that they use to announce whenever someone's meal is ready. As I am passing... I look in the window at the gallery's stove area and see what appears to be a gigantic fried egg on a black iron skillet. There appears to be a small, cooked turkey's head in the center of the egg's yolk. The gallery guy announces on the speaker "Whoever ordered the giant egg with turkey... it's ready!" but no one is coming in to claim it. I run into the gallery and make arrangements to purchase it if no one claims it. The gallery owners agree to it.

12/17/02:

    There was some weird scenario where I was in a very dark church. I was walking from the back towards the front. There were rows of dark wooden pews that I could see as I approached them. I noticed what I assume was the back of a child's head. A child with very light, almost white, blond hair... was sitting in one of the pews, facing forward. All I saw was the top of the back of the head just over the pew. As I got closer and closer the properties of what I was seeing got "stylized" and darker (except for the child's hair/head)... it almost looked like a giant dark mouth with teeth (the rows of pews) with a white aspirin on it's tongue (the child's head).
    I woke up from this dream and had a very bad feeling, and also was thinking about my mother.

12/18/02:

No dreams.

12/19/02:

    Can't remember much. I have a vague memory of being in this modern diner that had bright colors and chrome on the inside. There were colored lights everywhere and I seemed to be in there with some blond woman. We were the only ones in the place... it's like it was closed, and late. We kept having the ability to "click" on objects in the diner... like a click-able scroll down menu on an internet browser... and change the colors of things or the type of furniture or whatever. Sometimes I was inside the diner and sometimes I was looking at the whole scenario on a computer screen. The whole thing kind of reminded me of The Sims interactive computer game.
    There was also some weird scenario while I was falling asleep where I remember these wild zig-zag lined patterns in pink and yellow (with black lines) against a white background. The patterns kept changing and flashing and multiplying before my eyes - kind of like one of those Mandelbrot fractal pattern things. It reminded me of the way patterns can look and "hallucinate" when you are on LSD.

12/20/02:

No dreams.

12/20/02:

    I'm in some strange environment... a big, old city... like New Orleans or somewhere in Italy. I get the impression that I am in New York... it just looks different. I don't recognize anything. I think I am walking around the city looking for Jim.  It is daytime - sunny, winter. I am walking into what I think is my apartment building... it's huge... with a giant, grand staircase. It's an old-fashioned staircase. Each floor of the building is gigantic... like an old ballroom - with wide, white walls and a huge tile floor that is light gray. And the stairs - which wrap around twice on each floor and are about thirty feet wide - are in the center of each floor's "ballroom" and towards the back. The stairs are white marble with wooden banisters painted dark brown. Lining the edges of each ballroom are brown doors that lead to each apartment.
    I am walking up the huge stairs to my floor when I see a crowd of people. Everyone has on black trenchcoats. I see my friend Flloyd standing at the top of the staircase. He has on a black trenchcoat and a funny wig and has a goatee. We look at each other but for some reason don't say hello. I get farther up and see more people I seem to know (only in the dream). I walk all the way around the balcony thing that goes behind the staircase and check everyone out. They all seem to be working on some kind of project in the hallway... like making a film or something. I see the other way... away from the staircase, farther back on the floor's immense "ballroom hallway" is a door open to the left. In the door is not an apartment but an art gallery. They are having an opening in the gallery. I look down and see my old college friend Lance mulling around the crowd outside the gallery's door. He has strange facial hair. I also see the back of Jim's head duck inside the gallery's door just as I see him. I want to yell out "Jim!" but for some reason I yell out "Lance!" I seem to be trying to get Jim's attention by yelling Lance's name. I see Lance looking around trying to figure out who is yelling his name. He goes down a staircase on the other end of the floor that I didn't see.

12/21/02:

    I'm in some really, really strange little town. It looks like something out of an old fairy tale. All the structures are vaguely cave-like. I don't know anyone around me. There is something about me going a long distance across the town to another part of the town that is somehow bigger - like a big city compared to a smaller town - to look at an apartment I want to rent.
    When I get to the big part of the town everyone is dressed really weird... like in rags and ratty top hats - again, like an old fairy tale. I go to this cave-like mall thing and walk through it's long hallway. It seems to be carved out of the ground with giant roots used as support for the roof. The sun is coming through parts of the cave/mall thing where the dirt has been worn away. There are apartments off to the sides of the cave/mall... evenly spaced along the sides. They also look like little caves. I come upon one and go in. It looks like a very old meeting room - like from the medieval ages almost. It is made of brick and has a huge fireplace and some furniture I can't remember... it looks like something you would see in a museum or a set for a time period play. It's filthy. The sun is coming through some holes in the ceiling. I know that this is the apartment I want to rent, and that for some reason I came all the way here just to see this place. I feel very warm and centered in the space. There is something that is round and made of bricks in the center of the room. It looks like a fireplace.
    I go back out into the mall/cave/tunnel part and I look down at one end and see a group of small schoolgirls on a field trip being led down the cave towards me. They all look almost identical with long straight dark blond hair (with a hair band) and matching school uniforms (dark blue skirt, black knee-high socks, black shoes, white shirts, red cardigan sweaters). They are all holding flashlights and are being led by a teacher. They keep coming closer as they walk, and they keep reaching different parts of the cave that are dark, then reaching lit parts (from the sun shining through holes in the dirt ceiling) - so there is this kind of strobe effect.
    Then a scenario shift: I am in a large room, it looks like a high school art class. I am still in the strange town. Sun is coming through the windows (shining through colored pieces of construction paper with drawings on them that have been taped to the windows in some parts) but I get the impression that it may be late at night - weird. There are a bunch of people sitting at all the little tables in the classroom listening to someone talk at the front. Everyone is an adult even though it seems like a high school. There seems to be some effort on everyone's part to leave. Like we are all having a group discussion about trying to get out of there... that room. For some reason we can't. It's like we are up against something... some force or something that we all need to conquer. We are hashing out plans to do this... it's like a disaster movie. I suddenly notice that the round brick fireplace from the old room apartment I wanted to rent is also in this room. It has kid's art projects taped to it.
    One of the women in the room suddenly "knows" somehow (the 'force' that is holding us there let her know?) that she has to do the following before any of us can leave: she has to make a sculpture of a rabbit in a cage out of dessert food - like cake or something. It has to be a perfectly created project and be finished and presentable as such in order for us to leave. She stands up and starts pacing around the room with another guy, thinking out loud... trying to hash out ideas to make the rabbit in the cage cake. The guy is like "We have firing kilns here in the art room... we could use those as an oven!" Everyone sitting at the tables starts to offer suggestions. We seem to agree that making standing bars on a cage will be very difficult made of flimsy cake. I offer the idea of making hard candy bars and then attaching them at the ends with homemade taffy as and constructing a cage. The woman and the guy just look at me and are like "That's a pretty good idea... we can think about it!" but I can tell they are going to do it. I am sitting at the table thinking "Everyone always steals my ideas." Then suddenly I realize that the art class is in a high rise building... it looks like a building in Hong Kong.
    Then a scenario shift: I am in an apartment that I rent in the same weird town (not the one from the mall/cave). It is in a high rise similar to the one the art classroom was in. There is a little terrace that looks out over the city - the sun is shining through it's open shutter doors. I am laying on the floor on an old fashioned ring rug. There is a black dog with me - l think it is a fox terrier, but fatter. It is my dog and I like it. I seem to remember buying it. It is a good companion and I feel good lying on the floor with it. I am thinking "It is so great to have a pet dog! It is going to enrich my life!" The dog is being very playful with me.
    Then another scenario shift: I am with the dog and I am walking through all these grassy areas... like little hills and stuff. The area is littered with giant old white pieces of concrete - like from old buildings or unused giant concrete sewer pipes. Sometimes there is metal grating sticking out of the giant pieces of concrete. The grass has grown over everything. I am working my way across the landscape with my dog. It is afternoon, warm, sunny, a nice breeze... early summer - I feel great. I may be in Plano, Texas. I feel that I am leaving the weird town and am heading "home". I feel very content.

12/22/02:

No dreams too

12/23/02:

No dreams.

12/24/02 - 12/30/02:

Sorry... took quite q little break there for the holidays.

12/31/02:

    I am living in some really weird environment... like a town that is on a large, rocky island... like you would find in the New England/Maine area of the United States. It always seems to be overcast, windy and slightly rainy on the island. I seem to live in a strange household that sometimes is occupied by my grandparents... and sometimes by my uncle and aunt William and Joanne. Part of the house even looks like my old grandparent's house. Also sometimes my real parents seem to occupy the house. There seems to be no end to the home... room after room opens up as I need them for the dream.
    At one point I seem to be going to board some kind of train, like a subway, that I can board directly inside the house. The car of the train is just a room in the home. The room that is a train car also looks like a small church - rows of pews to sit on and the whole place is brightly lit with fluorescent lights. It could be a court room too. I sit down on one of the pews and notice that it is made of this weird white plastic corrugated cardboard. I look closely at the little rows of corrugation at the top of the pew in front of me and notice that the whole thing seems to have been constructed and cut very roughly with a box cutter or something. I look even closer and see that there are very tiny messages written within the little rows of corrugation - like strips of white paper with black helvetica typewritten sentences on them (fortune cookie fortunes?) embedded in them. The cardboard that the pews are constructed out of just seem to be made this way. Suddenly my old NY club friend Rob walks in for some reason. He seems to be riding the train.
    Rob sits next to me on a pew. I know the "train" is moving... although it's actually a room in a house - and I feel no motion whatsoever. Rob sits down and we start talking. I keep having to fight the urge to drop strong hints that I am in love with him. As we are talking he keeps getting up and arranging these stacks of poster board that he seems to have on the other side of the room, and then he keeps sitting back down again. Each time he gets up I notice this weird under lit machine thing on the back of the pew in front of us. It's some kind of meter... and it is gauging how much I am letting onto Rob that I have a crush on him. Somehow I know the typed messages on the pieces of paper inside the corrugated cardboard that the pews are made of are related to this machine... or control it somehow. Weird. When the "train" stops... Rob leaves. My attempts to flirt with him have made things uncomfortably awkward and he leaves kind of in a huff.
    Then there is a scenario shift: I am still living on the weird island and am in the house, but it is a different time. I am in a room of the house and I seem to be caring for this small, deformed girl who is laying on the bed. She is very tiny, body-wise... because of some medical disorder. I think her head may be much larger than her skinny body and maybe she has mongoloid eyes and maybe wears one of those weird skull helmets but I'm not sure. It seems to be my job to take care of this weird girl. I know that this deformed girl is my sister.
    Suddenly... I seem to be out on a rocky beach area with the weird deformed girl and another girl who seems to be my sister (in the dream). It is cloudy, windy and slightly rainy. I suddenly become aware that there was some plot to poison this deformed girl  with some special kind of berries while out here on the beach and while she was under my care. I know that the other normal sister and the parents (of the house I was in) were all in on it because they wanted to kill her. The deformed girl is laying on the ground next to some little shack. She has ingested the poison berries the family (my family?) had wanted her to take and is now dying. The other sister walks defiantly out of the little shack and looks down with scorn at the dying deformed girl. She asks if she's dead yet. I am shocked and look up at the healthy girl/my other sister and say nothing - I seemed to know nothing about the plot to kill her until now - I am just trying to see if there is a way I can save the deformed girl from dying. The healthy sister storms away angrily - I know to go "tattletale" on me and the dying deformed sister to the parents for not dying after taking the poison berries. I can kind of "see" the healthy sister in the living room of the house telling the parents everything and them getting angry.
    I am looking down at the deformed girl/sister and she has pink and yellow juice coming out of her mouth. She keeps changing form - especially her eyes.
    Suddenly, I am in a totally different scenario with this girl. She seems to be all right now and has miraculously survived the poisoning. I didn't think she would survive but somehow she had the inner strength to do so. I am now at some local gallery in the town that is owned by some guy I don't know. The gallery is closed. The gallery has light brown drywall, dark brown industrial carpet, lots of strange multilevel floors - and the whole place is lit up by these amber colored lights that are placed on the floor and directed up towards the walls. The gallery owner is talking to me about the deformed girl surviving. I see that the deformed girl has changed form again and is now very small - almost like a weirdly shaped baby. She is swinging in one of those automatic wind-up swing-a-ma-jig baby chairs that hang like a swing. I get closer to the baby/girl/sister and see she has a big baby bonnet on.
    Suddenly we seem to be back in the bedroom of the house. We are alone. She is on the bed sitting up and I am caring for her. I peel away the baby bonnet off of her head. I see that her head has now changed into this hideous E.T./The Fly-styled monster head with enormous alien eyes that have huge human irises (green) and large tarantula-like eyelashes. The bonnet seems to have made a permanent indention in her head. Her body is baby-sized. She relies on me completely. For some reason now I know that this baby/deformed girl/sister is my lover. I imagine us having sex. I wonder how it happened that we became lovers.
    Just then the scenario changes again and we are in a lush public park in the daytime and the girl is in a baby carriage and I am looking in on her. I am actually french kissing the deformed baby monster. Just then this guy I know, Bill W., walks by and says "Yea Mark... but that's not as bad as people seeing you make out with a baby in a public park!" I know for some reason that Bill has taken offense at something I have written on my web page and this is his way of retaliating. I also know that he is right.