7/3/01:

    I'm "watching" this concert (I seem to be looking from up - like a bird's eye view) in the middle of this winter-y fields. Sometimes it's night and sometimes it's day. The concert looks like some kind of thing from Olympia, Washington or something from that rock music scene. Like The Make-Up or Kathleen Hannah or somebody like that is performing. This girl in a red leather dress and a platinum bee-hive hair-do is standing in the back of a flat bed truck with a guitar and a microphone. She has a little amp and is singing into the mic. There are a few people scattered around watching - all dressed very mod. She is singing into the mic to like - no one - when suddenly the flatbed truck just lifts it flatbed up[ into a 45 degree angle and everyone and everything on it slides off onto the ground. It looks like someone could have gotten hurt from it but no one is. The driver of the truck then peels out of there as all the people on the ground just look at him like "huh?". The driver drives the truck into the back of a much larger 18 wheeler truck (the flatbed truck seems to 'shrink' as it does this - so it can fit in the back) and as it drives into the back of the 18 wheeler carriage, it kind of "hides" behind these giant bags of garbage. All the people on the ground are kind of laughing and mocking the truck driver, like "What the fuck!? What an ass!" and I am thinking "They have nothing to laugh at because what he did was 100 times more exciting than their music performance."
    Then I seem to be "watching" a story on the news about what I just witnessed. I see the announcer say "You are watching actual video of this crazy truck driver as he lifts the flatbed and dumps these rock performers in the mud!" The girl in the red leather dress looks hilarious sliding her ass helplessly off the flatbed and into the mud - her equipment following close behind her. It looks like something off "America's Funniest Home Videos" or something.

7/4/01:

No dreams.

7/5/01:

No dreams again. Hmmm...

7/6/01:

    I am living in some house in some unknown place with Gregory and some other friends, maybe Sammy too. The dream had many parts (one involving me changing into new pants outside a row of closed stores in a shopping center at dusk - and people seeing me, and another where I saw some never-before-seen episode of The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob constructs some elaborate killing device over his own bed in prison - and I am describing this episode in great detail to my brother on the telephone) but this is the only part I can really remember:
    It was near the end of the dream, or maybe was the end. We were cleaning out a room in the house. We were gathering a bunch of videotapes and books that had been on this one shelf near the floor for a long time. We find this little tree frog. It hops into my hands. I suddenly remember this little tree frog from an earlier part of the dream - I remember seeing for the first time in the dream "a long time ago" when it was smaller and bright green. During that time I remember it jumping back behind that shelf. Wow it must have been there a long time!
    Now the frog looks very unhealthy. It is a pale mud brown color - almost transparent - and seems to be very still like it hasn't moved in a long time. I feel like it shouldn't have been back there so long. I walk into the next room. In the next room is this giant pond with all kinds of plants and trees and moss - all done up with colored lights and little bridges - it's very elaborate. WE must have built this in the house at some point. In the pond are all these wonderful kinds of exotic fish and animals. I think that this brown unhealthy frog must now live in this pond. I hold the frog near the water - my friends in the next room ask me what I'm doing.
    The frog seems very reluctant to go in the water. It doesn't even seem to be trying. I start to stroke the frog to calm it down or something. I put the frog into the water. It just floats there motionless - face down! I wonder why it's doing this. Has it spent too long behind the shelf? Can it not survive at all in the "wild" now? Can it swim at all? Isn't that it's instinct? As the frog is laying there face down in the water (which I realize I must get it out soon or it will drown) I see some of the other wildlife in the pond: a blowfish, and some weird fish that seems to have these rubber sandals (for human feet) attached to it's fins.
    I suddenly look at the frog in the water floating face down. I reach down to lift it out. It starts to transform right in front of me. Its body starts to grow very long and turn this bright blue color. I pick it up out of the water and it continues to transform. It grows a little tuft of hair on the top of it's head and a thin little yellow beak for a mouth - two little white eyes. Little penguin feet. It looks like something out of a Dr. Suess book. I hold the transformed frog in front of me and cradle it in my arms. I pet it. It starts to smile at me. It seems to be saying that it has the ability to swim in the water but will not do it - it is too scared and is much more comfortable getting all this attention from me. It will not cooperate by swimming in the new environment, and will pretend not to know how to swim and pretend to be helpless, as long as I give it lots of attention by trying to help it. It's addicted to the attention. The dream ends with the creature smiling up at me. I feel totally manipulated.

7/7/01:

    Don't remember too much from last night's dream. Just some sort of "page not found" graphic that I was looking at on the internet. The page had a little piranha cartoon figure eating up the words - like Pac Man or something. I also remember some blond girl with long hair in the dream - that's it.
    Oh wait... now I remember! Oh and it's a doosey: I was living alone in some strange apartment. I seemed to be living in some strange city that was a hybrid of the wst (old) side of Plano, Texas and New York City. I was in a white cadillac car - a big long one (my dad had a car like this at one point when we were growing up). I was driving to church - the exact same church my parents used to drag me to in Plano every other fucking day of my life. It was Plano Southern Baptist Church or something like that. Anyway it's nighttime and I am going to church now for some reason. Very weird.     I park the cadillac in the parking lot and walk into the main hall. It's huge and just like I remember - it's packed and everyone looks the same. It's like I stepped back in time - I actually recognize people! I know my parents are there somewhere but I don't want to talk to them or see them. I decide to skip the second service - for some reason there is a second service. I actually have the feeling that "since I'm not with my parents I don't HAVE to go to the second service, they don't control me!" - a totally childish thought. Weird.
    Then I'm up in the balcony of the church and I run into an old NYC aquaintence/friend, Ron Lasko. We are talking and there are a lot of people from NYC around us. Ron says he wants to book a years worth of massages from me in advance. I say sure - and I will give him a cut rate for "buying in bulk". We laugh about this.
    Some other stuff happened in the church involving NYC people but I can't remember.
    I go back out to the parking lot. As I do the main hall of the church starts changing form a lot for some reason. I get to my car and I realize that it is some high-tech super car that has all these wild contraptions on it. I think it has the ability to fly. I peer in the window of the car at all the gadgets on the dashboard. Hey! I forgot the keys! I can't get in my own (my dads?) car! I decide to walk home. I think there was some weird thing here in the dream where I was running around in the parking lot of the church, locked out of my car, and I was in my underwear for some reason and didn't want anyone to see. Weird. This was a very creepy dream for a lot of subconscious reasons.
    Then I decide to walk home. I walk away from the church and suddenly I'm walking east on Prince Street in Soho, NYC. It's daylight. I pass this amazing looking restaurant, that looks very similar to The Pod in Williamsburg, Brooklyn - except this one is all white with colored lights on each level. I stop and look at it and say "Wow!" out loud. I see Laris from Sound Collector magazine outside - I think there is some sort of reception for the magazine going on there. I talk to him and he says something like "It's a good day in New York for strolling around and running into a party, do you want a drink?"

7/8/01:

    I remembered my dream when I woke up but now I forgot it.

7/9/01:

No dreams. Slept very little last night.

7/10/01:

    I am outside in some stormy, windy, thunder and lightening environment. It is nighttime - although there is a storm there is no rain. I am looking at some long, vertical cylinder. It is glowing green. There are a man and a woman in business suits sitting in chairs at a table to my left. They are observing me and how I react to the glowing green cylinder. Even though they seem to be just to my right - they don't seem to be in the storm at all, or even outside. They seem to be somewhere else entirely and are "observing" me via some weird window that opens to another location - like a wormhole in the space/time continuum or something like that. They seem happy and I don't feel like they mean me any harm. I recognize them now as that lawyer couple who have one of those cheesy late night "Call 1-800-LAWYER"-type commercials where they are like "...we work late for you!" It's the lawyer couple from that commercial. They are secret reptilian aliens who live inside the Earth and they are abducting and experimenting on me! Ahhhh! Call the fruit farm and make a reservation for me please.
    Then I'm "gliding" along this curving asphalt road in an old Texas town (I think it's Denton, Texas - my college town). It's daylight and overcast. I seem to be going to some kind of show or performance.
    Then I'm at that show. The show is weird - it is a series of cable access show hosts, who are re-created in little scaled-down busts made from onion meal, that are placed on the stage in front of the audience under a spotlight. The onion meal busts of cable show access hosts seem to be able to talk, and take questions from the audience. Very odd. I seem to be backstage behind the door of the dressing room of the giant gymnasium/auditorium that the show is happening in. I am backstage watching the show. The audience in the auditorium is full and cheering. Am am peaking from behind a slightly open door that opens directly onto the stage. If I were to open it all the way the audience would see me. I realize that Yoko Ono is standing in front of me, blocking the door. She is watching the show too. I am opening the door a little more so I can see. She slaps my hand and says "Watch it! Don't block the door! I mean don't open the door!" She's being childish and absurd... so I totally scream and cuss at her, I push her out of the way and watch the rest of the show. The little onion meal busts that are talking to the audience are peering at me from the corners of their eyes as they speak to the audience. It's real creepy.
 

7/11/01:

    Hmmmm... can't remember too much. Something involving a weird new flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (something with white ice cream and some raspberry -like syrup that had to be kept separate from it until it went into your mouth) and Bryan. Bryan was there watching me eat the ice cream or something - he was to my right, and he was smiling. There was also something about these flat, angular planes that were floating in space.
    I just remembered an important part of my dream. I was somewhere - in a room of a house and there were other people there. I think I might have been in Denton, Texas again. Also, Bryan was there with me again too? Anyway - it was night - summer - we were all watching TV in a dark room and the breeze was blowing through the windows. I was eating something like hard candy, or maybe eating ice. Suddenly I felt something hard in my mouth that wasn't what I was eating. It was part of a tooth. I pulled it out - it was half of one of my back teeth - it had been split in two - it had some blood on it and it looked like part of the tooth was black (rotten?) I reached back and pulled the other half of the split tooth out of my mouth. I felt with my tongue the bloody, sensitive hole where the tooth had been (remember that feeling? - ewww). I realized it had been so long since I had been to the dentist that one of my teeth had rotted and then cracked in two when I was chewing on something hard. Oh no! I suddenly imagined the high dentist bills. I somehow feel resigned about the tooth now being gone - like it was good. I see Bryan over to my right again. I see my back (I'm wearing a kelly green shirt) as I'm walking away from myself - on a sidewalk outside the house at night.
 

7/12/01:

    I'm with Michael Alig and some other old club kids. I think Angel Melendez is there. We are walking across some bridge - I think the Williamsburg bridge - and we have two people with us that we have kidnapped. They are tied together with duct tape and their mouths are taped together. Our plan is to take them to one of the big rooms in the center of the bridge and kill them. They are pleading for mercy and we are all laughing and acting like it's hilarious that they are going to die. I am thinking about how Michael must have finally gotten out of prison and I am shocked that I somehow got caught up in all this. We get to one of the rooms and we are trying to get through these big, rusty doors to get through the bridge. I am dreading killing these people and can't believe this is happening.
    Somehow everyone just kind of dissipates and fades away. The people were never killed. I am suddenly by the swimming pool of this lavish mansion. I am with the woman who was going to be killed. She is OK - she still has the duct tape around her and is sitting by the corner of the pool with me. We are talking about what happened and she seems pretty upset but thankful to be alive. We are both speaking into this little transistor radio that has all these little wires coming out of it. The little wires have colored things on the ends of them that are little microphones.
    Then I am seeing this cartoon. I see some man with curly hair and a mustache and glasses (animated) go to some door and a woman answers it. She tells him that he is at his new job. He stands in the doorway and she says that every day he works there they have to pluck a tuft of hair off his head. He stands there and she goes "pluck! pluck! pluck!" and pulls one tuft of hair after another off the center of his head. She says "You've worked here this many days and you owe us this much hair!" He looks at the "camera" and says "Now I have a bald spot!" There is a little red dot on the center of the top of his head under the bald spot. Then the woman puts him in a wheelbarrow and wheels him away. The whole thing was a cartoon and had kooky music. It was like I was seeing it on TV.

7/13/01:

I had a bunch of dreams last night but now can't remember any of them. Maybe I'll remember them later today and type them in.

7/14/01:

No dreams.

7/15/01:

This is a test to see if anyone reads these. If you do please email me.

    Two days before Bryan is to come visit me in NYC, I talk to him on the phone and we both casually decide I should fly down to Austin, Texas and visit him.
    It is the middle of the night and I get a late night flight down to see him. I get to Austin and it's nighttime. I am going to walk to his house - I can't remember the directions exactly. I go into a 7-11 and I stand up on the edge of this counter so I can look around me to see if I can see his house (I can see through the walls?). A guy that works there comes over to me and tells me to get out. I start to leave and then realize I forgot my shoes. I go back in to get them. My shoes look like these beat-up suede boat shoes I used to have as a young teenager in Plano, Texas. The guy who works at 7-11 hands them to me.
    I walk around Austin at night near all these highways and overpasses and areas with tall cat tail weeds in swamp-like areas. I finally find this "river" area. The river is set deep in the ground, like a canyon - except the walls are grass (that looks fake like astroturf). There are very bright lights shining into the river all along the length of it. There are also this tight configuration of houses that line along the river - the back porches look out, and hang out over, the river. I am walking along inside all the overhanging porches of the houses (which connect) along the river.
    I look down into the river and see all these unbelievable animals. There is something that looks like a super gigantic squid. I also see this super-giant dolphin-looking thing that has some sort of bubble on his head, and is yellow and blue. There are other unreal animals in the river. The river seems too shallow for them - and they are flopping around alot in the shallow water. I seem to remember that this river is some kind of wildlife refuge for these unbelievable animals. The plants and rocks along the river seem phony - the whole thing looks fake.
    I am switching outside light switches on and off on the outside porches of the houses as I walk along them - turning the outside lights on and off. I reach the end of the river - Bryan's house is there. Suddenly the river is gone and I am standing in the dark, nighttime front yard of Bryan's house. I know he is asleep. The house and yard look nothing at all like Bryan's real yard. I sneak into the house without waking Bryan up.
    I wait inside a side bedroom for Bryan to wake up - for morning to come. The house looks nothing like Bryan's real house. The bedroom I am in has an adjacent bathroom that leads to Bryan's bedroom. The door is open to the bathroom. I realize the house looks a lot like a house I lived in in college in Denton, Texas. I wait on the bed.
    When morning finally comes, Gregory walks out of the bedroom door and into the bathroom. He is in his underwear. He starts blow-drying his hair in the bathroom mirror. He sees me but he kind of pretends not to, and he starts laughing like it's a joke or a surprise or something. Bryan walks in behind him. He is fully clothed. He is looking in the bathroom mirror to - he sees me but kind of pretends not to. Is this a joke? A surprise? Did Bryan fly Gregory down here so we could all be together? What's going on? I walk into the bathroom - Gregory exits out of the room.
    Bryan and I sit on the floor of the bathroom. I am really glad to see him. But Bryan looks nothing at all like himself. First he looks like Richard Simmons - except with straight, long hair and earrings - dangling ones. He has on a tacky velour jogging suit. His face is weird looking. I tell him that I don't know what to do with Bryan's plane tickets to NYC (they are mine?). Bryan says "Why don't you sell them on line?" like it's a logical option. I'm like "Huh?" He's smiling like what he said is a viable option that is supposed to make me think everything is all right because I'm an idiot or just don't want to call him on it (when we both know that won't work) and I'm supposed to say something like "Thanks!" - I hate that kind of behavior. Who is this person? He's not even acting like Bryan. Now his look changes again and he looks like a mutated version of Quentin Crisp. He's running around the bathroom putting on facial creams. Who is this person? Where am I?
    The morning sun is shining on the painted-white walls of the house and the grass is fresh green outside. I hear birds chirping. Where did Gregory go?

7/16/01:

No dreams. Hey - yesterday was the 0ne-year anniversary of me keeping this Dream Journal!

7/17/01:

    Bryan is coming to visit me in NYC. I am cleaning up my apartment because I want it to look really nice. There is someone else besides me in my apartment - but I'm unclear as to who it is. I am talking to them about Bryan visiting.
    My apartment is very strange. I seems to have LOTS of big windows. It is on a big body of water. Outside of the windows I see the water (dark blue) and fantastic blue mountain landscapes. The mountains look like ice caps actually, but are rock. It looks like ice formations of Antarctica. Sometimes the mountains are mountains, and sometimes they are fantastic cloud formations - like you see from a plane.
    At this point I remember an earlier point in the dream where I am in my apartment - and my apartment is an actual plane up in the air. I am talking to Flea (from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) who is sitting on my bed. I am telling him how fascinating clouds are and how you can never tell their size until you are right up on them. Like when you are in a plane - like we are now. A plane that is shaped like an apartment with big windows. I look out and see the cloud formations. These cloud formations will change into mountains when the apartment is on the ground.
    OK now the apartment is back on the ground. I am cleaning again with the mystery person there. Wow the view from my apartment is fantastic. My apartment layout is nothing at all like my real apartment. I notice one weird thing as I am cleaning. The layout of my bedroom is the exact layout of a bedroom I had as a small child.
    Bryan shows up. I am showing him the apartment. I am explaining that New York City is very dirty and that it's hard to get ALL the dirt up when you are cleaning. I see like flecks of white (paint chips?) on the floor as I am telling him this. Bryan points to some hair balls under the oven and is laughing.
    I stand at the window with him and am showing him the details of the fantastic mountains and cloud formations outside my window. I am explaining different details of each one.
    We go into my bedroom. Sometimes it's my bedroom and sometimes it's a patio that looks out over the view (with the water just on the other side of the little wall that surrounds the patio). I am showing Bryan this weird mechanical hammock that I have. Suddenly I think of my old friend Heather from high school. The hammock has all these settings on it that allow you to rock back and forth on it automatically. I get on it with him and set it to "go" and I say "It's the power of perpetual motion!" as we rock back and forth on it. It rocks from front to back rather than side to side.
    There was another part of the dream where I was trying to get on the roof of my building, but the superintendent had apparently built some strange pipe/drainage system on the roof which blocked my access to it.

7/18/01:

    Very creepy. I'm on a roadside in Austin, Texas (somehow I know this). There is a stucco wall to my left (there are houses on the other side of it) and green grass on the curb - or from the curb on the side of the road leading to the wall. The wall is lit by streetlights. It's nighttime. I am looking at the back of my own head, like watching myself walk down the side of the road. I am walking on the grass on the left side of the road. I have a denim jacket on. I think there might be headlights approaching from behind me but I'm not sure.
    Suddenly, my face turns around and "looks" at me. Everything about me is lit except for my face - it's almost in total black shadow. I see slight parts of what appear to be nose, eye, etc... but they look deformed. I think my face is a skull. It's really scary and I get a feeling of serious evil from it.
    Suddenly a red, glowing "EXIT" sign appears in the lower right hand corner of what I am seeing - like it's super-imposed over it. With my dark skull face just looking at me - the stucco wall and road behind it, and the exit sign. It's very disturbing.
    Then I woke up for a while and then when I went back to sleep I had this dream:
    I am laying in my bed asleep and Domenic walks by me. As he does, the phone rings. I "see" a Xerox of a guy's face, repeated four times - kind of floating in the air. The phone rings four times - four separate calls. I kind of "sense" that someone is sending me four emails, all containing picture files.
    Then I am back in Plano, Texas. I don't know how I got there. I am at Collin Creek Mall, a mall I spent a lot of time in as a kid. I am walking around looking at how it looks today. It's very strange. There are large pieces of colored fabric, mostly dark colors, draped over the entrances to the stores. These are accentuated with strings of colored lights and some fog machines and potted plants. The lights in the "halls" of the mall are dimly lit, sometimes with colored lights. There aren't many stores left open - like they all shut down. The owners of the mall must have gone to great trouble to make these decorations look nice.
    The people walking around in the mall look like they are from the future - like a bad Hollywood kind of future. I see a woman pushing a baby cart that is hovering in the air (I imagine her trying to get it into her car). I also see people dressed in outrageous costumes - like superheros and stuff. Many people are talking on cell phones. One guy walks by me in a white tall hat that has a spider web design with strings and diamonds on the hanging from the hat. I can tell he is an interior designer. He is talking on his cell phone and sitting on the arm rail of an escalator as he goes down it. There are weird escalators and stairs leading to all kinds of areas in the mall. I'm like - whoa - this is a whole different world!
    Then I seem to be in a house with a bunch of people. I see Will from Big Brother 2 is living there with me, amongst other people. He is always arguing with me. The alarm in the house goes off. I am arguing with Will about how to turn it off. He pretends to know how to do it and then proceeds to do that. It doesn't work - the alarm is still blaring. He looks at me and says "You must have broke it." He's totally lying. He storms off. Then the woman who seems to own the house is suddenly in one of the rooms. She looks like an older business woman and is dressed very business-like. She is at a desk working. I walk into the room and tell her the alarm is going off. She says "Oh!" and then she gets her rolodex and looks through it and starts calling all these numbers. She seems to be doing things in a certain rhythm. Like there is a certain order to the calls she is making and they have to done just right. The alarm goes off.
    Then I seem to be at some really strange Alice In Wonderland theme park. I am mulling around the big parking lot (which has lots of trees and greenery) with a bunch of people. There are all these waiting trams around that people are piling into. Depending on which tram you get into - you will be taken to an authentic re-creation of a famous scene from Alice In Wonderland. In each tram are groups of people dressed as characters from the book. The costumes are very elaborate and well done, and the people wearing them seem to be in total character all the time.
    At the last second I decide to ditch my friends and go into the tram that will take me to the Queen of Hearts' croquette game. I get in the tram and see the Queen - she's acting really bitchy. I look over in one of the other trams and see the Alice character. Her costume consists of a giant exhaled dome thing over her head, with yellow yarn hair. On the egg thing is painted her face, Picasso-style. The face is all mixed up like a Picasso painting. I look carefully at the painted face and see that, upside down, it looks like a cartoon drawing of a boy's face.
    The tram takes us to the croquette game "setting". It's a giant theater. I skip the group as they file into the theater with the actors. I walk around the empty hallways inside and backstage the theater as the performance is going on. For some reason, since the croquette game scene is where the Queen chops off people's heads, I get the impression that the performance could be really dangerous - since it's supposed to be so real. I think they are actually going to chop people's heads off.
    I go to this area where these two girls are selling sodas. I see this cup full of water and I pour it down the drain that is on the table where the girls are selling the sodas. They are talking to each other and ignoring me, they don't seem to care. As I pour the icy water down the drain I realize it's not a real drain but just a cup attached under the table with a drain thing on the top of it - no pipe. Like a golf ball hole. The water I'm pouring quickly fills up the cup and starts running over.
    I run into Will again. I confront him about the alarm thing. He is embarrassed and smiling but doesn't seem to want to admit he was wrong. We are suddenly in the driveway of the house again.
    Then I am back at the theater. I decide to go in a back way to the stage and see the performance. There are all these wide stairwells and rooms leading to the stage. There are tons of people hanging out backstage and laughing and talking. It's like a casual party. I get the impression that these people paid to see the performance but then spend the whole time hanging around socializing. I also get the sense that these same people do this every week. I finally get to where I can see the stage. The performance is totally lame. The audience seating area (lots of balconies) is full of people running around and talking and goofing off. No one is paying any attention to the show. I look at the big, old theater and think that I have seen another play or something here in NYC.

7/19/01:

No dreams.

7/20/01:

    I am living in some strange building. It is many stories high and looks like a project-type apartment building. Inside my apartment, it looks like an old childhood friend named Tim's house he had when we were in grade school. Sometimes when I am in the apartment it is like I am taking care of it while Tim's family is away, like I am really in their house. I have all this music equipment and all these complex video-playing machines lined up on one side of the wall. I am always playing with them. I seem to be really careful not to make a mess. Sometimes the controls of the machines have colored liquid on the tops of them, sometimes in itty bitty puddles, that looks like it will spill if you touch the controls.
    I seem to have two "pets" there with me. They both seem unreal. Maybe robots. One I can't really remember - maybe it was a real dog. The other, the dominant of the two, was this bizarre mechanical-like shape shifter kind of thing that was very cute and playful... and seemed bored. It would change it's shape into all kinds of impossible configurations... pick up things with it's mouth and do weird stuff with it. One time it had these long mechanical legs that looked like they were made of erector sets that had turkey legs (cooked) attached to them with string. It was always sitting up and then streeeeeetching one leg out really far to it's side. It looked really funny doing this. Another time it was sitting there, it had some kind of kid's play mask on - the mask was of a cartoon lamb and was made of white cloth. The mask was so big that it covered the animal's whole body - just the mechanical legs were jutting out from the bottom. It had stretched one of it's legs waaaaay out in my direction. In the hand/foot of the stretched out leg was a cassette tape, which it seemed to be handing me. It just stood there frozen like that. I looked at the lamb mask, which was in profile, and I thought about the animal. I said "He seems really bored and kind of smart. He shouldn't be cooped up here." The other animal was sniffing around the legs of the mechanical animal as it was sitting there handing me the tape. This made me think of a good name for a rock band: Strategic Pose.
    Then there was something about a phone call from a lady that wanted me to dance in the Queen's Gay Pride Parade. I told here I would and when the time came I started thinking about getting ready and going. I kept walking out of my apartment (still Tim's house) and then having to go back in because I forgot something. The whole time I'm thinking about how I don't want to go. I keep going up and down in the elevator of the building - which is covered in graffiti - and going downstairs in front of the building to wait for a cab. There is some situation downstairs with an old man and his wife and how he is very proud of being an "expert" at hailing cabs. He appears to go down there all the time with any excuse to hail a cab just so he can feel special. There are other old people there too. I go down and hail a cab really fast and the old couple stop what they are doing and stare at me kind of sad. I seem to have eradicated their map just by hailing a cab. I decide I forgot something else so I turn around to go back upstairs. As I'm walking in the building I hear the old man saying something derogatory about me and all the old people are nodding their heads in agreement.
    I am going upstairs and I am thinking about how I don't want to dance in the stupid Queens gay pride parade. Why am I doing this? I don't even want to! Do I even have any of my old g-strings? "This is ridiculous" I think. I go back upstairs and look at the little puddles of paint on the controls of the machines in my room. Some of them have tissues wrapped around them to absorb the liquid. I think I decide to blow it off.
    Then I am suddenly outside at some kind of music festival or outdoor comedy show. I am watching the show from the audience. On stage are these two female comedians. They are both blond. On looks kind of like Petunia Pig with blond hair. I am watching her when she talks and I am thinking "Is this good exposure for someone with a face like that? Will a talent agent watch this and think he can cast her in some role or commercial to exploit her homely looks? I guess she's out there trying! Every little bit helps!" As I'm saying this I realize that I'm actually saying "Hurts" instead of "Helps" at the end. I'm saying "Hurts" over and over, repeating it to myself to make sure I got it right.
    I keep watching the show. Much of this comedy girl duo's show seems to consist of bringing interesting little mechanical toys out onto the stage and showing them off to the audience. I think this seems like a really lazy approach to stage comedy. One of the toys the two girls bring out is this mechanical shark toy. It's actually very big. What the shark does is very remarkable. It has a mechanical sensor in it's body that can pick up vibrations. If it picks up the fluttering vibration of something near it, say another wind-up toy, it first will shut it's mouth and "sniff" the vibrating thing, then it's jaws will open up and snap over the vibrating thing - like it just ate it. The shark's mouth area is quite flexible and it seems to be able to reach around behind itself to "eat" something. I think "Wow that is really funny - these girls are talented" At first the girls don't seem to be able to get the shark toy to work right but it eventually does.

7/21/01:

No dreams.

7/23/01:

Since I had no significant dreams last night and am very busy, I have a GUEST dream journal entry from a fellow webcammer in Canada. FunkCamLive offers this dream he had last night... about me!!! We have never met. Thanks FunkCam!

FunkCam writes:

    "First of all, I never dream.. or if I do I can never rembember my dreams, but by some wierd cosmic whacked force I awoke this morning in total confusion.

    Last Night I dreamed that I was breaking into my old highschool and once I got inside I met a 7 or 8 foot Mark Allen! It was wierd, neither of us were suposed to be there and at first we just pretended not to notice eachother. But how can you ignore a dude thats 8 feet tall? I just walked by and didnt look at him, the way that you try not to check someone out when you cruising the supermarket. Hmmm.. anyway, somehow we ended up bumping into eachother later that night in the boys locker room of all places.. I told mark that I couldnt believe how tall he actually was and that his cam must of made him looked shorter. Mark was so suprised that I actually knew of him from his cam and we spent the rest of the night hunting out cheesy coffee shops and eating doughnuts.."

7/24/01:

    I am meeting this girl I know and her friend at some fancy ice cream parlor. The parlor has seat and booths you can sit down in and have a meal - like Friendly's or something. The girl reminds me of a cross between Reese Witherspoon and Alicia Silverstone. Anyway we are all sitting at a table soon and we all seem to be focused on the girl's friend. She comes from a very wealthy, well-to-do family and is obsessed with status. She is telling us what to order and dropping hints about how we should act to make people think we are rich and successful. Both me and my friend can't stand her pointless blabber but we just sit there anyway.
    Then it's sometime later in the day and I seem to be getting of of a train and walking through the ice cream parlor I was in earlier - like it's a train station. I see this girl who is wearing only a bathing suit. She has a shaved, cropped hair cut and has a very worked out body. I think she is a lesbian. The remarkable thing about her is her shoes though. They are these clear plastic domes that cover her entire feet. Inside the dome are these weird feet shaped clear plastic things that her real feet go into. They are shaped like cartoon feet, or the Hang Ten logo - but in 3-D. One is transparent pink plastic and one is transparent blue plastic. You can see her feet inside these things, which are encased inside the plastic domes. The bottoms of the domes are covered in colored fun fur - and then there are hidden wheels underneath the fur so she can roll around on these shoes.
    I go up to her and say "Wow! I love your shoes! They are fantastic!" She looks at me as she is rolling down some stairs and says "Oh thanks! I'm using them to win a lawsuit!" It is at this point that I notice how muscular her body is.
    Then I seem to be in my old dorm building in college. I have a room by myself and I think it is the first day of college. All my old friends are there. Except it's not like we are back in time. We have all come back to college for some reason. My friends Shane and also Gene are there - as well as faces of acquaintances I knew but can't remember their names. I'm hanging out in the hall with everyone and we are sitting on the ground. I put my head on Gene's let and am like "This is just like old times!" These was also some point in the dream where I was masturbating in my room and a friend knocked on the door and I went up to look through the key hole to see who it was - I think it was Shane - and he poked something through the key hole and poked me in the eye.
    Then I am walking over to the old art building to pay it a visit. It's nighttime. I am standing on the top of some hill or something because I can see the building from a birds eye view. They seem to have added a lot of new sections to the building since I was there last. I look down and notice that I am completely naked. For some reason I don't think this will be a problem. I walk down to the art building nude.
    It's still nighttime. I walk into the building and peek inside each room (the doors are locked but there are little windows on the doors you can look into) and I say "This is the room where..." and I state some interesting thing that happened in each room during some class. I am still nude.
    I go outside and start to "sneak out" the back way of the art building. I find this little pile of clothes and look through them to see if I can find something to put on. I find some yellow shorts. I see that all these things are girl's clothes. As I walk away I hear two people coming and I hear one say "Hey! Who's been going through my clothes!" I start to run away and then I fall through these wires and fall onto the ground. The two people that were coming suddenly see me and are like "Oh my God!!! Don't move!!! You are surrounded by electrical wires and some of them are grounding wires!!! Don't touch the grounding wire!!!" They seem really concerned and are asking me to be really still and they tell me they are going to call the fire department." I try to snake - very slowly - out of the wires. I am really freaked out about it and don't want to get electrocuted. It's an awful feeling. I make it out of the wires. I seem to have my clothes on now.
 

7/25/01:

    Bryan and I are planning an outrageous wedding on the South Street Seaort of New York City. He will go as the groom and I will go as the bride. We are planning on having all our friends there and want to both wear outrageous outfits. We are constantly going over to the tent where the wedding will be, and then back to our apartment downtown (we have an apartment?) to see if everything is all right. At certain points, Bryan turns into my friend Manny Parrish, then back to Bryan. Sometimes Manny is just helping out with the wedding too.
    The pier we have the wedding on on the South Street Seaport actually appears to be on the west side of Manhattan. There is one of those Jewish cake things that is the wedding cake. A lot of club people are showing up. It's way more crowded than we expected.
    Bryan and I go home and realize we only have about 5 minutes to get ready in our costumes for the walk down the isle. We get ready really fast. He wears an old vintage tux and I wear this ridiculous wedding dress thing made out of paper and cardboard and tinfoil. We get in Trucker John's truck and he takes us to the wedding. He's blasting his horn as we pull up to the wedding... everyone is cheering.

7/26/01:

No dreams.

7/27/01:

    Gregory lives in this little trailer house that is in the center of the intersection of 8th Street and Avenue A. I am going there to visit him.
    I walk into the house and it is way bigger on the inside than it is on the outside - kind of like Dr. Who telephone booth transportation thingy. I go inside and there is an entrance to a nightclub on one of the levels (there seems to be many levels and rooms). There is a Star Trek-style sliding door that goes *v-woop!* as it opens and closes. There is a guy standing next to the door with a podium and a guest list. There is a line of people waiting to get in the club. I think I see a velvet rope. I see fake fog too.
    I am working as a go-go boy in this club for some reason. I have to ask the door man about getting in and out of the sliding door so I can go in and work. There are all kinds of organizational problems and no one knows what's going on. Just getting inside to do my job becomes a major hassle. I see Sammy is there working too and I am complaining about the people who run the place to him. I'm like "Why in the Hell am I doing this?"
    I go to another section of the house and there is a science fiction convention going on. In one of the rooms, which looks like a library, a guy is showing projected film stills on a screen and people are gathering to look at them. The stills look like bad Xerox copies of black and white photos that have then been silk screened onto fabric - red fabric - like a T-shirt. The guy is also selling little miniature versions of the images on little swatches of fabric at a little table with a desk light near the projection area. He looks like a college student. Suddenly, while everyone is watching, a guy walks in and goes over to the guy selling swatches and starts yelling at him. The guy is like "This is copyrighted material and you can't be selling this and making money of pirated images and blah blah blah..." and the guy seems guilty but just looks up at him and says "I have a test tomorrow and am really hungry and if you make me shut this down and give everyone back their money it's gonna be way uncool." I see the guy selling the stuff is smoking now.
    Then I am in another part of the house and am talking on my cell phone with a new massage client. We are setting up an appointment. Suddenly the guy starts dropping all kinds of hints like he's looking for sex. I tell him I don't do that and I end up hanging up on him. Suddenly I can "see" the guy who I was just talking to. He is sitting in a swimming pool in a nice house. He is telling someone next to him that he wanted me to come over and give him a massage underwater and that he wanted to have two massage therapists there at the same time.
    Suddenly I am aware that this guy is very powerful and dangerous. He seems to have access to this scientific experimental "paint" that can make him invisible. He is going to paint himself with it, make himself invisible, then come to the house in the intersection of 8th Street and Avenue A and kill Gregory and I. I am really scared. I run outside and tell Gregory. Gregory is working on a hot tub that he is attaching to the outside of his house. There are cars and people zooming and walking all around him, like the intersection is his "yard" - very weird. I tell him about the killer and he seems mildly concerned. He goes inside.
    I follow him. Suddenly I seem to have "access" to these hovering pieces of rectangular paper that kind of "float" in space around me. In these floating pieces of paper - which appear and disappear at random - I can "see" the invisible killer as he is getting ready, and on his way, to kill me and Greg. Sometimes he appears to be wearing articles of clothing that float in space because he is invisible. One piece of paper shows him outside Greg's trailer house with a bucket of red paint and a roller brush - he is painting a design with the paint onto the side of Greg's house - like a warning (this looks very similar to something I saw on TV a few days ago on the Jerry Springer Show where a woman was painting the word 'Whore!' on the side of a trailer house that belonged to a woman she hated). Sometimes he is invisible/sometimes he isn't.
    I am walking from room to room in the house. All of the lights are on. Gregory is around sometimes and sometimes he isn't - he doesn't seem to scared - he keeps walking ahead of me and disappearing. I am completely freaked out and in a panic. I'm scared that the killer could be standing right next to me in one of the rooms and I wouldn't be able to see him at all.

7/28/01:

No dreams.

7/29/01:

No dreams.

7/30/01:

    I am reading the July 30th, 2001 issue of The Wall Street Journal to a bunch of people on the subway. I am reading out loud the cover article on Harry Stephen Keeler (which was really there in the July 30 issue). They have to listen to me with these little ear plug things with little wires attached to them. The car is moving but outside I see rows of people passing by instead of subway stations or tunnel lights or other subway cars. The relation to the cars movement and what I see outside the windows doesn't match. Suddenly I seem to be just reading the article to myself and get the feeling no one was interested to begin with.

7/31/01:

    I live in a city that is a hybrid of New York and Montreal, Canada. I am with some people I know (although I can't remember who now) and we are getting something ready - props or something like that, for something coming up in a few days. I am on the street then with Sherry Vine. We are walking around the wide, sunny streets looking for a coffee shop to sit and eat at. We see this car go by that is made of paper mache and is painted maroon with white borders. It is kind of shaped like a conch shell. We are still walking around looking for a place to eat.