7/1/03:

No dreams again.

7/2/03:

No dreams yet again.

7/3/03:

    I am in some unknown town. I seem to be at a large hotel... like a Hilton or something. There is some kind of music conference going on in the hotel. I am going to an "autograph signing" by Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon. They sit at this table in a conference room and will sign anything you bring to them. The room has a high ceiling... cream-colored walls (with some ornate decoration of some kind) and industrial carpeting with some kind of wild maroon and gold and navy blue design on it. I seem to be bringing Thurston some piece of thick gold foil (with a white paper underside) that I want him to "sign" by pressing the pen on the paper underside of it so that what he writes will be "raised" on the gold foil side when you turn it over (but will be backwards). I walk into the room and Thurston is sitting behind the table but Kim is not there. I am folding the gold foil paper I have as I approach the table... I see it already has some writing on it. I seem angry because there is already writing on it, and I can't seem to fold it correctly. I think I give it to Thurston anyway.
    Then suddenly I am on the outskirts of this strip mall. It is daylight and overcast and a little windy. I am on a grassy hill in front of the mall... between the hill and the stores is the parking lot of the strip mall... and the store fronts are facing me. I seem to have some people with me that I don't know. I have a 35 mm camera with me with a big telephoto lens. It seems that Ricky Martin is making an appearance at the record store in the strip mall... signing autographs and stuff. It seems to be my "job" to photograph him doing this through the glass front of the store... from the hill. There seems to be confusion as to when Ricky is showing up, or if he even is at all. At some point it appears that someone arrives... but it is unclear if it is even Ricky... in fact it may be Thurston Moore. I start to photograph whoever it is. When I look down at my camera... I see there are beads of condensation and moisture on the inside of the lens and camera. The parts of the camera start to come apart in my hand due to the moisture. I realize the camera won't work at all. I tell one of the people I am with on the hill this. I look up and the strip mall has turned into a half constructed, large suburban home suddenly.
    Then the strip mall seems to have returned, and I am now down in the record store. It seems now that it was not Ricky or Thurston who was making an appearance... but some obscure Japanese free jazz artist. I ask some Japanese guy coming out of the store if he saw the jazz artist "perform". He starts talking to me in English but I can't understand what he is saying.

7/4/03:

    I am looking down at this black bicycle (all the paint-able parts of the metal are black). It looks kind of odd - like a bike that has been modified. Plus the bike is rather small - like for a child... but the bike looks to sophisticated for a child (for a midget?) The bike is parked next to a sidewalk... in the grass. I am standing on the sidewalk looking at the bike. The grass is dead and there are dead leaves everywhere. Is it Fall? It is also kind of wet (the ground, not the bike) and is overcast outside. There are large green shrubs behind the bike. I never look up or around me at all - just at the bike.
    The bike is "communicating" with me somehow. It is asking me if I love it, and wondering if I would like to spend the rest of my life with it.
    I "tell" the bike "No."
    This causes the bike to fall towards me suddenly... like it fell over. I can "hear" the bike saying "No! No please! I'll do anything! Please don't leave me! I love you! I'll do anything!"
    I think for a minute and then I "tell" the bike "Well, okay. I will spend the rest of my life with you ...but only if you can take me lots of places!"
    Then I instantly woke up.

7/5/03:

     I am "looking" at actress Neve Cambell, who is sitting on a big brown leather chair. She seems to be at a therapists' office. There is a big yellow ceramic mixing bowl in front of her - but actually it is right in my field of vision. It appears that I am seeing her through a camera lens... and that the "cameraman" (me?) is actually holding the bowl in front of him - that's the perspective. I hear a voice-over that says "OK Neve... we are going to take this substance, which represents your phobias and issues... and spread it on the inside of the bowl." Then a batter spoon appears from "behind the camera" and it has this stuff that looks like raspberry jam on it. The "cameraman" then spreads the jam very evenly and thinly around the entire inside surface of the bowl. Neve sits up in her chair to try and get a good view of this happening - and watches intently. Then the batter spoon goes behind the camera and reappears with a substance on it that looks like vanilla yogurt. I know that this yogurt represents my phobias and issues. There is no voice-over to announce this, but I just "know." Then the cameraman spreads the yogurt over the layer of raspberry jam very thinly and evenly. He keeps spreading the substance over and over, faster and faster. Soon... there is no raspberry jam or yogurt in the bowl at all... the cameraman spread it so fast that both substances evaporated. I can tell that both Neve, and I, feel oddly disappointed... like someone just stole something from us both.

7/6/03:

    I am "watching" myself. I am in some sun lit room and I am wearing a lab coat. There is someone with me. There is a metal autopsy table in the room and on it is a naked blond woman, on her back. I assume she is dead. Some parts of her body have dotted lines drawn on them... like with a felt marker or eyebrow pencil. There is one circle drawn around her right nipple. Parts of her body are covered with a white sheet. I am talking out loud and putting on rubber medical gloves. I realize that I am going to cut this woman's body apart. I also "realize" that watching myself do this... I am going to actually be watching myself remedy all the conflicts and problems in my life. Like each part of her body I have to remove or examine will be a problem in my life I will be examining or cutting out (of my life). Corny but also bizarre, and gross!

7/7/03:

    I am living inside some massive complex - like a giant office complex or weird giant mall with living quarters in it. I seem to be working/living there. I also seem to be friends with TV personality Jon Stewart. We seem to be working on some TV show or something. We also seem to live together in the same apartment in the complex. At one point I am getting ready to go meet Jon at the TV studio (which is also in the complex).
    I am looking in my bathroom mirror at myself. I seem to have shaved my head. I notice in the mirror that my hairline in the front has now changed and is almost all the way down to the top of my eyebrows. I find this to be thrilling because I always hated my deep widow's peak/receding hair line. I see thick stubble on my forehead but this does not bother me... as I feel I can just shave my forehead and grow the rest of my hair long. I think to myself "Wow! The Propecia really worked!" I imagine calling my mom to tell her the good news. As I do, I can "see" my mom standing in front of a big, old, white house with an overgrown yard, by a beat-up old asphalt-y road... she is around some other people but actually does not even look like my mom.
    As I am running around my bathroom and getting ready... I look in one of the bedrooms and see Sam Stern laying on his back on one of the beds. He is wearing beige underwear, briefs, and has his foot pulled up to his mouth and is sucking his toes. He is looking right at me as he does this and it looks eerie. I continue to get ready in the bathroom. Soon I see the "outfit" I have put together for the TV studio. It is some bizarre outfit that consists of a weird black tube-top made of hard material that zippers in the front, black, clunky shorts, and dangling brass earrings. Also my hair is now long on top and bleached and buzzed on the sides and back and the top is kind of tousled back with gel. I also seem to have black eye make-up on. I am wearing woman's clothes and I look totally 80's and I look like a woman... not in drag, but my appearance has actually changed to a petite blond woman. I keep "seeing" myself run around the bathroom trying to get ready. Sometimes I look like the girl in the clothes and sometimes I look like myself wearing the clothes - all clutching the tube top to my chest with my arms and looking all awkward. When I "see" myself in the clothes - my hair is now buzzed/shaved like before when I was looking in the mirror, with the stubble forehead.
    Soon it's time for me to leave. I don't know who I am (the girl or me) or what I am wearing. I walk out into the entrance of the apartment. The front door opens to the inside of the complex. The outside looks just like one of the upper levels of the Galleria Mall in Dallas, TX. In fact I think it is. I have a car that I drive inside the mall complex, it's white (maybe some kind of Rolls Royce convertible?) I am slowly driving towards the TV studio (which is also in the mall/complex). I soon see Sam Stern's back in front of me... he is walking along slowly on foot...  I am slowly following him in my car... he is leading me to go meet Jon.

7/8/03:

    I am getting ready to go see a massage client. I am zipping up my table into it's big black protective zipper bag. I can kind of "see" myself doing this. As I do... I notice that I myself am curling up so that I can fit inside the large zipper bag... not the table. There is another of me, a "clone" - helping myself into the bag. It's like I'm twins.  It seems that I am carrying an identical copy of myself in the bag, instead of the folded-up table, to my client. This seems completely normal to me... like I've done it a million times.

7/9/03:

    I live on the seventh floor of a renovated tenement building in a big city. I don't know if it is NYC but I think it might be - it doesn't look like NYC. It might be Chicago. At one point I am there and I am with Paul Dinello and I have suddenly transformed into Amy Sedaris dressed as Jerri Blank. Apparently I am there with Paul and we are filming some extra footage for an episode of "Strangers With Candy". The shot involves me hanging out of one of the windows off a rope attached to a beam that is pulled up and down by a pulley. The camera is pointing out the window... and will shoot me (as Amy dressed as Jerri) dangling precariously (and hilariously!) from the rope and screaming for help. Apparently... the shot is supposed to be shot from the first floor window of the building... so that even though it looks like I'm dangling high above ground... I am actually only a few feet off the ground. When I'm out on the rope... I look down and see that I am doing this stunt from the seventh floor window. There are no safety harnesses or anything supporting me. But Is still "act" (as Amy dressed as Jerri) even though I'm terrified. I can see Paul though the window and he's filming me going "Great! Haha! That's hilarious! Keep going!" I keep acting all zany even though I feel I could fall to my death at any moment. As I'm doing it I can kind of "see" the original shot with the real Amy dressed as Jerri (who I am in the dream - but why would I picture the 'real' one? Am I a fake one?) and they are definitely doing this stunt outside the first floor window.
    Then I am myself again and I am having a party in my house. Lots of people show up from my past that I know. There are tons of bowls of dip and guacamole in the kitchen. When the party dies down I leave my building with these young girls who have flip flop clog shoes on. There is some fancy ramp thing that takes you out of my building (with windows looking out onto Japanese rock gardens and little waterfalls). The girls keep stopping and sitting down and re-arranging their shoes. When we finally exit the giant glass doors and go out onto the street... I turn around and look at the front of my building and realize it is an art gallery.

7/10/03:

No dreams.

7/11/03:

No dreams.

7/12/03:

    I'm with a group of people, none of whom I know, at some mountain/country-like area. It's sunny and beautiful, and there are wildflowers growing on the grass everywhere. We all live in this big, old A-frame house. There is some kind of project or work thing where we go into the local town via car and pick up something or do something. It seems that sometimes we do this individually and sometimes we do this in groups. I know that whatever we are doing in the town, or bringing back, is illegal. We are always having meeting out in the front yard about how to "...beat the law." There is an older, fat-ish bald guy who seems to kind of be in charge of our group - because he's been doing whatever it is we do for the longest.  As time goes on... we get more and more involved in the secret illegal thing we do... as it gets bigger and bigger - and therefore more illegal.
    One sunny day out in the front of the house... the fat-ish bald guy races to the front yard (from town) in his car. He gets out hurriedly and tells us all that the "feds" are onto us. He says a SWAT team are on their way right now to the house. He quickly gives us all some advice and then tells us all to "split up" and says that we can either run away and be on our own running from the law the rest of our lives or give ourselves up and go through a whole trial and prison term and everything. It seems very definite that we must not stick together and all go our own way.  I decide to run. Just as a see a few cop cars come over the horizon and then pull up to the winding dirt road that leads to our house... I run into what appears to be a smaller, near-identical house next to our A-frame one. I run into the structure and upstairs and then up a little ladder/stair thing and into the "attic" of the house... which is a triangular-shaped space with beams of wood. The beams are very small, they seem delicate and numerous in number - miniature, like origami - and seem to be made of cedar or pine or some other very aromatic wood. I can see the bright sunlight shining through the roof beems and wood, not through the slits between them but because the wood is so thin and delicate that the sun makes them slightly transparent - so the whole space has an orange/brown glow like an attic in the daytime. Also... it is blistering hot inside the space. I mean so hot that it's literally like an oven on medium heat. I start to sweat profusely... like sweat literally pouring off of me in little streams.
    I am extremely uncomfortable... so hot I don't know if I'm gonna make it. I will eventually pass out I'm sure - but it's the only hiding place I could think of in a hurry. I think that I must stay in this sweltering space for two... maybe three days at least... so the SWAT team does not find me. Amazingly, I don't hear much activity going on outside the house and I wonder if the SWAT team is even doing anything at all, or if that was even a SWAT team.
    Suddenly... I am in the same area... but away from the house, on another mountainside. It is daytime and I am outside of another structure talking to someone on the phone. I am asking them if they know how long someone can stay in sweltering, hot conditions and survive. I think the fat-ish bald guy is with me as I am talking to this person on the phone. The person I am talking to on the phone, tells me that he is going to take me on a trip... somewhere locally and not far, but a trip nevertheless.
    Suddenly it seems to be the next day, daylight, and I am waiting by the side of the road for this person to pick me up and take me somewhere. They show up in a big red and black 18-wheeler truck. I never seem to get in the truck... but I kind of am "transported" via this truck along side the road. I also never see the person driving really. Suddenly we seem to be at the base of this giant hill. The entire terrain is covered in deep, deep snow. It is still sunny. The person I am with is now out of the truck and we are traveling on foot. The snow is up to out waists. The person I am with tells me that, in order to get to the top of the hill... I must travel very fast through the snow, on foot, and trudge through up to the top. He says it is very hard... but that he will be along side me... but that also he will be concentrating so hard on getting to the top too... so he won't really be able to help me if anything goes wrong. He also tells me that the giant hill is actually a big lake/stream (somehow - even though it's convex shaped). He says the thick snow is actually on top of a thin layer of ice, then about three feet of water and then the stream/lake bed. He says that that my legs will be under freezing water the whole time but that I must trudge upwards to the top anyway.
    We start going up. I feel the water on my legs. Every time I make a step I feel some weird-shaped thing on the base of the lake bed. I keep "stepping" on things and just kind of floating/propelling myself over them. I think they may be rocks or old trees underwater or something. It kind of freaks me out and I start to get scared of live animals living under the frozen ice... really creepy ones like eels or snakes or snapping turtles or whatever. I can't wait to get out of the water and to the top... I move along quickly and am trying to block the fear of living animals in the water out of my head. I imagine telling my friends back at the A-frame house about all this.

7/13/03:

No dreams.

7/14/03:

No dreams.

7/15/03:

    I am downstairs here on my street in NYC. It is late at night. The deli on the corner is open and I am standing outside of it with Gregory. The deli seems to be kind of half open. The door is open but not all the lights are on inside. There is only one guy behind the counter and he is sitting on his stool in darkness. There is no Salsa music playing. It's all quiet and kind of creepy. Gregory and I seem to have just returned from some weird journey (that made up the first part of the dream - that I now can't remember) from somewhere far away... like another country. I think the journey involved us somehow taking care of some little retarded boy who was in transit, or something like that.
    Now we are at the deli buying food quickly before we go to bed. I pick out these strange pieces of fruit that I don't recognize. One looks like a cross between a bulb of garlic and a pear. I put them in a brown paper sack I have and start walking around the store. Suddenly I see that Greg knows the deli guy... and they are talking. The deli guy asks Greg to "lock up" and close the store when we are done... that he is leaving. Greg starts to run around the store and asks the few people there to hurry up and get what they need because the store is closing. I, for some reason, toss my brown sack onto the floor near the register. I see that the bottom of the sack is moving! I think there is a mouse in the bottom of the sack... eating the fruit. I kick the sack with my foot a little to try and get the mouse out. The fruit rolls out onto the floor and I see one piece of it has holes in it, looks "deflated" and has clear gel oozing out of the holes. I call Greg over and show it to him. We are both wondering why the mouse won't come out. Finally it does. It is a little white mouse and it's body is the same weird shape as the garlic/pear fruit. I kind of "nudge" the mouse out the door with my foot and it goes out onto the dark street (which is all lit up by street lights). The mouse wobbles over to a little puddle of water. Greg and I are watching it. I take the "deflated" piece of weird fruit off the floor and toss it out the door, way far into the street to try and get the mouse to go after it. The mouse ignores it.
    Suddenly Greg and I are in the back of a stretch limo going back to my apartment from the deli (which is only about 50 feet away) and we are talking about the strange journey we had been on.

7/16/03:

No dreams.

7/17/03:

No dreams.

7/18/03:

    I live in some strange hybrid town that is a combo of NYC and Denton, Texas (my college town). I seem to be on campus again taking some strange English Literary classes. The campus looks kind of the same... but with some new buildings and things are a little different. It's always sunny and Springtime on campus. The building I live in seems to be my same apartment here in NYC - except it looks totally different. It's laid-out like the inside of a massive old, Victorian house... with old staircases and red carpet everywhere and creaky wood and chandeliers... and my apartment looks totally different - but I know it's my building in NYC for some reason (even though it's on campus in Denton).
    One day on campus, I seem to get into this weird, intense discussion with this kind of chubby black guy who has flour all over him. We are talking about English Literature. There seem to be camera crews filming us as we talk.
    Then I go back to my apartment and I see something on my computer (online) about how I must go find someone important in one of the buildings on campus. I go back outside and try to find the English Literary building (I can't even remember where the English building is! I have to stop and remember back to college). I find it and go inside. Classes are changing and the halls are crowded. I see lots of areas with Xerox machines and Coke machine. I see some guy with curly hair with all kinds of electrodes and lights and tubes hooked up to him. I never find the person I'm looking for.
   Then I am back at my weird apartment. Jim is there. It is early in the morning and he seems to be leaving. He seems angry about something. There is a ring at my front door. He answers it and it seems to be a UPS delivery. The delivery guy gives Jim a large package. I run over to Jim and ask him what it is and what he is upset about. He is acting very evasive about it. Suddenly... we are in my real apartment in NYC - which the weird NYC/Denton one has seemed to have transformed into. Jim is in my bathroom. He is unpacking the delivery. He says it's a birthday present for me. It's some kind of weird, red, space-age-looking massage table. It looks really weird. He says "This is for the new monogamy" and looks at me with this weird/deadpan look on his face as he says it. I can't tell if he is really upset or if he was faking it to surprise me about the present. We are in my bathroom.
    Suddenly, a trapdoor/basement door opens up on the floor and we suddenly are in the weird NYC/Denton apartment again (a little bit - half the bathroom in my real apt. and half the weird NYC/D dream one) and I see that there is a basement attached to my apartment (even though I'm on an upper floor). The basement/trapdoor opens up and the weird modern massage table falls into the basement as Jim and I just stand there motionless. Jim looks at me the whole time. I look down and see the basement is very nice with white-painted brick walls and gray industrial carpet. I see there is maybe some tables with neat stacks of paper and a Xerox machine and maybe a computer. I see the black man covered in flour down there stacking pieces of paper and "working" on something. He looks up at me.

7/19/03:

No dreams.

7/20/03:

    I dreamed my air conditioner was coming out of it's place in my window. It had worked itself loose from all the vibrating over the Summer. I was able to jimmy it back into place and put all these pieces of cardboard and styrofoam and stuff to hold it in place. It was kind of difficult. It was nighttime as I was doing it. The whole time I was doing this I kind of "saw" the head of actress Sarah Silverman talking to me.

7/21/03:

No dreams.

7/22/03:

    I am in some unknown, suburban city. It looks similar to Miami or even Los Angeles. It is daytime - late afternoon/dusk. I seem to be running around in some tourist-y area, and "planning" locations for tourist-y cafes and bars and stuff... little businesses to make money off tourists. I am with some people that I am working with on this but I can't really see them. I am able to kind of walk around the crowded tourist streets and look at empty storefront areas (of which there are many) and just stare at an available storefront and kind of "will" a business to slowly, magically construct itself into place. I am staring at a storefront and I suddenly start to "wish" that the front gate would open... then the inside of the walls would be painted yellow... then a serving bar would open up on the left... then some dramatic lighting... then some palm trees inside... then a bunch of drink and coffee machines... then some employees in white behind the counter... then some modern white sofa things for people to sit on... then some stools for the bar... etc... This goes on and on and all this stuff kind of just floats through the air, from somewhere behind me and lands into the new business. I'm like Samantha on "Bewitched" - able to make stuff just float and appear. The street this is happening on is crowded with tourists but none of them seem to think that stuff floating over their heads and magically appearing in place is strange at all. As soon as the sofas and stools and employees appear, people just start sitting in them and ordering drinks like it's nothing at all. Within seconds my new business is up and running and I'm watching it and thinking "Wow, that was sooooooo easy!"

7/23/03:

    I live on my street here in NYC... but my building seems to be my NYC apartment and ALSO my dorm in my freshmen year of college. I always seem to be hanging out, out on the front sidewalk. There is scaffolding on the front side of the building. It is daytime/early evening. A lot of people have gathered around the street because apparently a wrecking crew is going to demolish one of the big buildings across the street. I see that the buildings across the street look completely different than they really do. In fact, they look like that model of a futuristic city in the beginning of the film "Logan's Run" - but less flashy looking. I am on the corner with a girl and a guy I do not know, but know only in the dream. As we are waiting for the crew to demolish the buildings... I am talking to them about how I am planning a trip to Texas or maybe California. I feel like for some reason I am going to visit wherever my parents live... but it's unclear as to where exactly I'm going. I also seem to be traveling via bicycle, or maybe car... or train. Whatever it is I seem very excited by it. I seem to want to leave as soon as possible because for some reason I'm going to really enjoy the trip. I "picture" the trip in my head and it looks like it's going to be down this endless 8-lane superhighway that has these giant sound walls on either side of it. It is always night on the road and there are lots of overhead lights and underpasses. The concrete used to make the highway is brand new. There will never be anyone on the highway but me... whether on bike or in a car. I seem excited by this.
    As we are gathered... we start to see the crew getting ready to demolish the futuristic buildings across the street. They are using these science fiction-y laser beams to slowly "melt" or "disintegrate" the buildings from the top down. Directly across from us, or maybe even on our side of the street, is this mirrored glass structure made up of a series of pyramids all mashed together. They are going to demolish this one too. I have my camera and start taking pictures. They start using the lasers on the buildings (the giant one across the street). It's a thick, white glowing ray that makes a sound effect-y kind of sound. I see a few people's silhouettes run out of the building at it's base when the laser hits the top. There is a beautiful sunset behind everything. They use the laser on another one of the buildings but it doesn't work... it just leaves some burnt marks on the building. They re-group to figure out how to do it right. everyone starts mulling around. I am looking at the semi-burnt building and thinking "How come I never noticed that beautiful building before? I wish I had visited it but it's too late now." suddenly the mirrored pyramid little building next to us starts humming and making all these crackling sounds like an electrical plant. My friend says "Get out of the way!" and pulls me away. I see men in white radiation suits around it. Turns out they are going to try and "blast" this one apart by bombarding it with radioactivity until it explodes... which is what they are doing... with tons of people standing around it and not even telling them! Funny.
    Then suddenly I am on my trip. I am not exactly on the highway road I thought I would be on... but seem to be one some bizarre concrete railway/monorail train. There is a raised-above-ground track made of concrete with a single concrete vertical slab running on the top through the center of it (about three feet high). The rail car uses this as a track. It looks like the monorail track from the movie "Fahrenheit 451" Except the train car is not a train... it's a giant two-story house. It's an old house that looks like it has been "added onto" over the years - extra rooms... balconies made of hammered-together plywood... un-even floors... carpet samples used as wallpaper... really funny. It just moves along the track kind of slowly. The man that lives in the house is a fat, smelly, old arab man. I guess he "runs" the railroad. I am inside the house with Jim and my old friend Ricardo. The sun is shining outside the house... and we can go up on the roof and "watch" the vast countryside pass by us as the house moves along. It's really cool. We pass all kinds of interesting towns and groups of people that all pay attention to us... either wave or throw stuff at us. At one point we come upon this weird area that has a big man made body of water on one side of the tracks and a Hasidic Jewish temple on the other. There are all these Hasidic men working in the water part and near the temple. They seem to react very hostile towards us and start throwing rocks and gardening equipment at our train/house. The fat smelly Arab man yells "Speed up the engines!" from the first floor and the train/house starts moving really fast. We are trying to get through the area as quickly as possible I guess... so the house/train doesn't get derailed by the Hasidic Jews.
    Suddenly... Ricardo, for some odd reason... jumps off the train house and right into the water part. All the Hasidics swarm around him and attack. Ricardo is yelling "I'll show you! Don't throw stuff at our train!" and the Jews surround him and start whacking on him  with their hoes and rakes. They look like young Hasidic boys in traditional garb and hair styles. There are just too many for Ricardo and I can see that they drown him or something. None of us seem very upset for some reason.
    Then some time seems to have passed. We are all still chug-chugging along in the house... and I think it's dark outside. I am on the ground floor of the house/train. Jim is with me and for some reason I think Ricardo is back with us. I go into the bathroom of the ground floor - which is on the wall adjacent to the front of the train. The toilet faces the opposite way so if I am to stand in front of it and pee - I will be facing forward in the direction the train is moving in. While I am in there pee-ing... I hear some commotion outside and hear the Arab man yelling. The train starts to speed up greatly. I am pee-ing and the house is speeding up and rumbling and shaking like an airplane in turbulence. I am thinking "If we hit something... since I am standing here with my pants open and pee-ing... I will be the first one crushed!" The house train moves faster and faster and the electricity starts to flicker on and off and everything starts to rumble. My urine stream keeps missing the toilet.
    Then a scenario shift: (I don't remember this part too well) I came up with the idea to sell these "nipple cookies" on sticks to this erotic toy store/bakery in Las Vegas. I started making and selling these boob cookies at this store and started making some good money. At one point I became conflicted about what colors of frosting to use and what ethnic skin types I should represent with the nipple cookies.
    Then... a total scenario shift again: I am laying on a grassy field... like a park area with some trees around. I am on my back. The sun is shining greatly all around me. I am just waking up from a nap. I see that Jim is laying beside me... still asleep. I wake up and look around me. I see people mulling around, picnicking or whatever. I see a guy selling balloons. I look over to my left and see a cloud formation that looks like three teddy bears. I keep staring at the cloud formation and suddenly I think "I remember a dream I had once where I was looking a t a cloud formation of three teddy bears just like that!" I reach over and wake Jim up. I point to the teddy bear formation and as I do I realize that they were not clouds in the sky at all... but sculptured topiary in the shape of three teddy bears. I show it to Jim and explain how I thought they were clouds at first and how I remember the whole thing from a dream and "...isn't that weird?" Suddenly I look behind the bears and see that we are near the entrance to Six Flags Over Texas (an amusement park I used to go to a lot as a child). This seems to be the "destination" I/we was/were going to. I tell Jim that we are here and he wants to go inside... but he seems a little hesitant. He says he has a "ball" he wants to "bounce" outside for a while before we go in. This seems weird. We finally enter the park. I somehow "know" that my parents are in the park somewhere and I feel nervous about running into them.
    I remember that Jim doesn't like rides that spin around quickly in one spot - all upside down and everything - really fast because they make him sick. I don't like rides like this either so I tell him we will only go on really "stationary" rides that are designed for "old people". We both laugh. I start to look on one of the park maps for the Spelunker's Cave ride (you ride a water car through a long series of fake caves and look at all these different animatronic robot scenes with elves). I remember this ride as a kid and wonder it it's still in the park. I can't find it on the map. I ask a park employee who is sweeping the ground where it is. She stops sweeping and looks up and points forward and says "I think it's right over there." Then she changes her mind and laughs and says "Oh wait... now I remember - it's all the way on the other side of the park... which is miles from here."

7/24/03:

No dreams.

7/25/03:

No dreams.

7/26/03:

No dreams.

7/27/03:

No dreams.

7/28/03:

No dreams (really).

7/29/03:

No dreams again.

7/30/03:

    I am with Jerry Seinfeld. We are in a large grocery store pushing a shopping cart around. We keep figuring out ways to bash the cart into things and people and making them fall over. We always laugh when this happens.
    Then later I think I am on the telephone with William Shatner. We are making plans about something. As I talk to him I am writing stuff down on a pad of paper.
    Then later I am in a public library with burnt orange industrial carpet and beige metal bookshelves and cabinets and beige tables and chairs. I see some old man with long blond/gray/white hair (cut at his shoulders) with a hat on way down at one of the ends of one of the rows of tables. His face is covered in some kind of metallic gray stage make-up paint. He is looking at a book and he keeps looking up at me. There is a sinister energy about him. I position myself between two rows of books so I can only see him between the space of the two rows. I move back and forth so he is in view, then not, then is, then not. He kind of tries to look at me as I do this. I for some reason decide it might be bad to look this character in the eye. Then I find myself saying "I am not afraid of this guy... whatever he symbolizes... this is ridiculous... I'm not going to let any fear in my head scare me... the fear is in my head and is based on something that doesn't exist... it's just a dream." (I seemed to know I was dreaming) When I say this the man looks down at his book and keeps reading and his "power" seems to diminish.

7/31/03:

    I seem to be at some kind of strange camp... like a sleepaway camp for kids. I seem to have arrived there via a road trip - like I just stumbled upon it and decided to stay. I am staying at the camp as a worker... like a counselor for kids. Also at the camp with me... working with me (for some reason)... are Jon Stewart, Sam Stern and Bruce LaBruce.
    It is always night time at the camp... and it has the traditional layout of woods and open areas and buildings scattered throughout the grounds... all with screen doors and overhead lights with bugs swarming around the lights. A lake with a pier, an archery range... etc. I never see any kids on the grounds so maybe it's some kind of getaway camp for college students or something. Me and the other guys are like counselors or something.
    I seem to live in the cafeteria for some reason... and I sleep in a room with Jon and Sam and Bruce... which is down the hall from the massive kitchen. It is always night time so the kitchen area is lit up with overhead fluorescent lights. It appears that there is a killer loose in the camp somewhere... and that he is stalking people and killing them one by one. I get the impression that it can be any one of us... and that I am being targeted next.
    One night I am with the guys in my room and we have a campfire in the middle of the room for some reason. I am tending to the fire and talking to the guys about the killer. I look down in the fire and see that there is a big roll of money being burnt by the fire. I quickly pull it out and burn my hands while doing so. I see that it is a bunch of 100 dollar bills taped together end to end and then rolled up... probably thousands of dollars worth. I freak out because somehow I realize that it is my money... and that the killer did this just to upset me. Somehow he was able to get my money out of the bank, turn it into 100's, tape them together and roll them up and get them into the fire. He wanted me to know that he did it and wanted me to be upset. I start bitching about what has happened to all the guys and am also suspicious that it could be one of them (how could the money get into the fire when I built it and was standing over it the whole time?).
    I leave the room and walk through the huge kitchen. There is a giant mixing vat that they use to make mashed potatoes that I pass that looks very intimidating. I walk out into the outside of the cafeteria building. It's a big open area... with a dirt road and lines of trees in the distance. I see a delivery van or something like that doing circles in the dirt parking lot area. I somehow get onto the back of the truck and just start riding it in circles. I can see the silhouette of the guy driving the truck but can't make out who he is. Just then I kind of "hear" the killer's voice in my head. He is saying that he always knows where I am and what I'm thinking... and that the burnt money thing was just the beginning. I am next to be killed. I panic and look up at the driver. He is now gone! The truck is doing circles by itself! I leap off the truck and run back into the cafeteria building.
    I am standing in the brightly-lit, huge kitchen and looking all around me. Somehow I know that the guys in my room - just down the hall - are "gone" now... and may be dead (?). I realize the cafeteria is empty. I hear a strange noise coming from one of the other ends of the cafeteria... like doors slamming shut. I panic and run out. The empty van is still doing circles in the parking lot. Areas of the camp are lit by lights but most of it is dark. I look all around me and suddenly realize that no one at all is at the camp... everyone has been killed and the bodies have been disposed of by the killer. All survivors have fled away. I look around and see through the lit windows of the cafeteria the shadow of someone about to exit the building and approach me in the parking lot. Who is it? the killer?
    I see the main dirt road leading away from the camp and to the main highway. I don't know where my car is. I just start running on foot as fast as I can away from the camp. I am totally terrified. I just keep running and running and running...