10/1/00:

    I'm looking at a computer screen at some text. There is a one inch white border around the text. As I'm looking at the text, the white border turns into the edge of a box, and the text is inside the box. The whole thing becomes 3-D, except I think it was suddenly black and white.
    There was something involving a trapeze artist coming down on a rope from upwards, and there is a puddle of goo under her that she is going to land in. I think the puddle of goo is bubbling.
    I think I was also in some situation where I was working at some place and we had a manager who was a woman, who kept giving us commands. We were outside and there was a tornado approaching, with lightening and everything - really violent. She was telling us what to do and the wind was whipping her hair around and stuff was blowing all over the place. It was our job to protect this big rectangular rock from "splitting" in half. In order to do this we had to just stand there. I had the impression that the woman had no idea how to protect the rock but she was going to hope we figured something out.

10/2/00:

    I was taking in this strange city. The city almost looked like an island in Greece - with bright, white stucco buildings scattering the whole landscape. One of the new buildings was a new Lotus Club, a cafe I like to go to. It was in a new location (this city) - so this was New York? So I went to this "new" Lotus Club and saw my friend Mike who works there. The place had a kind of Mexican design, like maybe an upscale Taco Bueno or something. With white stucco walls and orange/brown burnt looking tile floors. I went into the bathroom and spied that guy who works there who I have that on-again off-again crush on. He was talking to somebody but seemed really aware of me when I entered the room.
    I went into the bathroom and noticed the toilet was really, really little. And the lids and inside of the bowl were made of reflective aluminum or chrome. I could hear people talking outside as I was in there.
    Then I went to some building that houses some magazine of film festival or something like that. I was running around there doing something, what I don't know. I at one point saw this girl who was talking to me like she knew me from my past or high school or something. She was saying "I'm the one who put your name on the sign at the front of the building." - and I remembered seeing a sign with names on it when I walked in. I was trying to figure out her name and I noticed a necklace with a name on it around her neck but I couldn't read it. I think my friend Rob Fernandez was there too for some reason.
    I kept thinking in my mind that there was something I had to do and I suddenly realized my parents were on this Summer-long trip and I was supposed to take care of their house which was in this same city. I went to the house (which I had not been to in a month because I had been out of town - huh?) and it was located on Montecello Drive like the street I lived in in Plano when I was in grade school. The house was totally different though.
    I went from room to room in each house and checked it out. In one the air conditioning had been left on and I was like "Oops!" but then I looked and realized only the fan had been running. I looked around and everything was dusty and I thought "I can come back and clean up this place later before they return, I'm gonna go home and sleep." Then I went out to the garage (white dry wall walls, gray concrete floor, automatic door opener, and sun coming through the windows) and looked for my car, which I think was red, so I could go home. I felt really tired.

10/3/00:

Too busy moving to record my dreams - will probably not record them again until 10/5 or so...

10/6/00:

    I went to see the "new" Madonna concert. I had front row seats and it was in a giant arena. There were two famous (but I can't remember who they were) MTV-ish female V-jays sitting near me and one was telling me "my friend here said she can't wait to have Madonna run out and touch our hands and we'll be screaming like it's 1984 all over again. I said that I thought this Madonna concert was going to be peaceful and different. Isn't it weird how we saw it so differently? I think it's going to be serious!"
    A few rows behind me I saw Geno from Geno-Vision cam and Rex from Rex cam. They had both come from out of town to see the show. They had both just arrived.
    Just then the lights went down and the crowd kind of cheered. These giant, all-gray school busses pulled up and blocked the stage from the audience. Since we were in the first row this prevented us from seeing anything. The school busses even had little blinds in the windows so you couldn't see through them to the stage. A giant stained glass church window lit up at the back of the stage and this orchestra music started. I was thinking "This IS going to be serious!" As the music was swelling I saw someone I knew (but whom I DIDN'T know or recognize at all) walking towards me in the space between the front row and school busses. She had a denim jacket on with the words "Stop The Noise Love" or "Stop Music Is Killing" or something like that stenciled in white letters on the back of it. She had spiky auburn hair, Ray Ban sunglasses, big earrings, black gloves - the whole 80's thing - on. She looked like a walking Nagel print. She walked up and hugged me and said "Hi!" then she walked up onto the stage like she was part of the show or was security or press photographer or something.
    The show was beginning to start and I saw some activity on the stage. A movie started playing on a screen on the stage. It was a kind of "Porky's"/"Gomer Pyle USA"/"Rock 'n Roll High School"-looking film. With some kids or whatever standing up to snooty authority and then breaking out into song. I think Mary Woronov was playing a drill sergeant in it. It looked like the movie was integrated into Madonna's concert. There was some really famous, middle aged actor that was in the film that was also on the stage and everyone cheered when he walked out. I don't know who he was. The busses were really blocking my view but if I didn't think about them - they wouldn't be there. Madonna still hadn't walked out on stage.
    As I was kind of watching the show someone came up from behind me and put his hands through mine and was watching the show over my shoulder. I realized it was Rex from Rex cam. It was weird because he didn't say anything, we just watched the show together like that.
    There was some scenario on the stage with two cadets with rifles standing guard to some building that looked like it belonged on an ivy league college. There were two men in business suit on the stage talking to the cadets. They each had briefcases. You could hear the conversation of one businessman/cadet, and while this was going on the other businessman/cadet couple was doing some sexual innuendo visually, like a joke. Like mimicking that one was going down on the other. This made the audience roar with laughter. I was thinking "That is such a cheap shot. This is so stupid." Madonna never came out.

10/7/00:

Today's dream provided by Mark's Roommate, Michael Wakefield. Recited to Mark, who transcribed it verbatim:
    I was at the high school that I grew up in, in Michigan. It was the present time, but I was back in school for some reason. I was the cool kid walking into class (think Winonna Ryder in the series finale of Strangers With Candy). EVERYONE wanted to talk to ME. I was strutting around all confident and cocky that everyone was paying attention to me.
    When I sat down at my desk, I noticed I was lower than everyone else. I noticed, especially now, that a lot of people were looking at me. But there was something different about me since I had first walked into the class - I had become Jerri Blank. I started asking people to hit me on the face and "humiliate" me. I think I was actually challenging people to hit me. No one ever actually did beat on me. I made the request but the dream ended before anyone could comply.

    Very strange dream about my stomach as I was sleeping. I was lying in bed and I could see the inner workings of my stomach as they were digesting food. They were digesting these weird bran apple pancake things I had made that night. The parts of my stomach that were churning were peach colored and the little tubes that lead out of the stomach were black.
    I was watching my stomach digest the pancakes and was aware that it was attached to my body. Then I could kind of see this "double image" of a nighttime country road. I was driving down the road in a car with no headlights on and the moon was really bright and I could hear crickets and see fire flies and stuff. I could tell I was in the south and I think I might have been driving to Texas. It's like my stomach digesting pancakes leads to Texas, at night.

10/9/00:

    Can't remember TOO much of last night's dream. I remember John Waters was in it at some point for some reason. I think there was some part of the dream that had a female gym coach in a gym. I was in there with a bunch of people and we were all working on something. I think we were making something we were going to sell or maybe setting up a bake sale at a school or something. The coach was in charge.
    The way I woke up from the dream was weird. I was talking to some woman about always living up to my goals (I think she was the coach). Or always doing what I said I was going to do. She looked at me and said "Well, here's a good way to start." and her arm and hand pointed to her left and she looked that way. It was like she was looking out of the frame of the dream and was pointing at my alarm clock which, when I woke up and opened my eyes, was in the direction she was pointing. Just as I woke up it went off. I was apprehensive about getting up this morning because we had a wild party last night and I wanted to make sure I got up this morning and didn't just turn the alarm off and keep sleeping.
    Internal clock woke me up just before the alarm went off and that was reflected in my dream? Or something EERIE and STRANGE...?!?!? MOO-HAHAHAHAHAHA-HEE-HEE-HAW-HAW-HO!!!

10/10/00:

    I was walking around some museum that looked suspiciously like The Dallas Museum of Art. I wanted to go into the rich woman's office. She's from the rich couple I work for sometimes and they appear in my dreams occasionally. I found her office in the museum and it had glass walls and a front door so you could see into it. Some of the lights were out and it looked like she might not be "in". A female security guard came up and asked me what I was doing because the museum was closing. I told her I was looking for the rich woman. The security guard told me the rich woman had left for the day and that she wasn't in there. I said "Are you sure because I still see some lights on in there" and the security guard was like "Sir, you have to leave,
NOW!" and just as she was saying that the rich woman opened the door and was like "Oh hi Mark!" The security guard lost her bravado and gave me this vulnerable look like "Oops." and I just ignored her.
    The rich woman stood outside her office and told me she wanted me to work some days for her. She was holding this weird mobile made out of wires, pipe cleaners and paper colored with crayons - like something a child would make. She said she wanted me to do some work from a computer at "the space" and would I mind going over there and doing it right now. She handed me a zip disk and said all the information I would need was on it and to just put it into the computer once I got there.
    I left the museum and was driving in a car to "the space" with two people who were my friends and were just coming along for fun - they were a guy and girl and even though I was aware they were friends of mine I had no idea who they were and had never seen them before. It was late at night. We got to "the space" and instead of being the usual place, it was Dave Doorknob's home back in Plano, Texas. We stopped the car out front. It was late at night and the neighborhood was totally quiet and dark save for the wind rustling the trees in people's yards and the tall streetlights along the street. We were inside the house and there was a complex desk system in the living room. There was a computer at one of the desks. There was only incidental light in the house - like the light of a nightlight or the light from an open refrigerator. I got the impression that we shouldn't be there and what we were doing was illegal - like breaking in a house. I realized that the Doorknob family was on a long vacation and wouldn't be back for about a week, but I didn't really know when they were coming back.
    I put the zip disk in the computer and my two friends were watching the program unfold on the screen. Suddenly I started to panic and thought to myself "This is ridiculous, why would the rich woman have me work out of this stranger's house?" Then I realized that all the other times I had worked from her had been out of this house as well and I realized that I had been there working for her many times before, always when the Doorknob family was away. How did she know them? She's based in New York. How did she know when they would be out? How did she know the security code for the alarm system? Oh no! Suddenly I realized I had forgotten to enter the security code when I came in and that meant that a silent alarm had been sent to the Plano Police Department and the alarm company! Oh shit!
    I ran and told my friends we had to leave immediately because the cops were on the way and I was totally freaking out because I in no way wanted the Doorknob family to know I had been in their house. My friends didn't seem freaked out at all and were more interested in watching the computer program on the screen and seem reluctant to leave.
    I ran around the house to try and find the security alarm control. I ran into the garage and saw that the garage door was open and their was a lot of activity and headlights shining in my face. The Doorknob family had returned from their trip just at this moment. We were caught red handed and boy was this going to be awkward and surreal to explain to them!
    I had not seen them in like 15 years and I had no idea how they were going to take it. I just went down the driveway and though "I'm just gonna tell them exactly what is happening." I was really nervous and was thinking "How in the Hell did I get in a situation so unbelievably stupid and ridiculous?"
    I saw someone standing in the driveway in a Halloween cow/sheep costume. Was it Dave Doorknob? I tapped him on the shoulder and said "Um, hey...you're not going to believe how crazy this is but..." he turned around - it was somebody I didn't know.
    Then over his shoulder I saw Mrs. Doorknob. I was like "Oh! Hi Mrs. Doorknob! It's Mark! Remember me! Well...you are not gonna believe this but I was just in your house and it's a long story and I think the alarm went off and the cops are on their way and isn't this bananas? So anyway..." She looked at me like she had no idea who I was but then when she realized who I was she got this really disappointed look on her face said nothing. She just turned around to talk to this neighbor who was in a car in the alley, like she didn't want to talk to me. She looked really old. I looked up the driveway and saw Mr. Doorknob walking into the house. He looked REALLY old, like almost dead. I felt really mortified.
    Then I DREAMED that I woke up in Michael's house (where I'm living now) in the present and thought about what I had just dreamed about. I went into the bathroom to pee and was thinking to myself "Oh my God! I'm not a man, I'm a child! How do I let myself get into these absurd situations? I gotta make some changes!" I felt really ashamed and inadequate. Then I woke up for real.

10/11/00:

    I dreamed I got a phone call from Matt. As I was listening to the phone call I could see him sitting in Tompkins Square Park with his dog Max. I wasn't talking back on the phone, just listening, and he was telling me how he felt about me saying I just wanted to be friends from this point on. It was really a heartfelt speech - just in a dream though.
    I was then at this mall complex that was owned by this super rich tycoon entrepreneur. It was the "mall complex for women. Kind of like the Lifetime channel is the "channel for women". There were all these levels and stores and events and plazas and food courts and stuff there. I was following the tycoon around for some reason. We were in the main plaza entrance and there was a gigantic video monitor with this very funny aerobics video playing on it. All the women in the plaza were dressed in typical 80's aerobics outfits and jumping up and down to the music. It was very funny looking - many of the women were overweight. It was very Richard Simmons.
    Then I went to some club that was operating in the daytime. On stage were drag queens singing songs. Candis Cayne was on stage at one point singing a song and I recognized it from one I had seen her do a long time ago. Then my old go-go friend Franco got on stage and sang one. It was just talking set to music. There was one of those boards next to the stage where people can write things in magic marker. I looked at the listing for his song and saw that it was on Eightball records. Frenco was making funny poses between the verses of the songs. Then I was in a side room of the club and my roommate Michael was asking me what the title of the record I had come out was called. As I was telling him I was typing into a computer.
    Then I was walking outside at some building during the day - it kind of looked like the edge of the Javits Center on the West Side Highway. I was walking with a friend and we saw a lot of people. Including a group of teenagers who had a loaded gun and were swinging it around wildly.
    Then I was in this very ornate, rococo style lobby of some hotel or something. I was watching people come up this escalator (I was at the top). Every person that came up was someone that I had known from my past - but that looked totally different. Like their faces had slightly changed. Franco was one of them. I saw my old friend Andre come up the escalator. I was like "Hey Andre!" and we talked for a while. I was really excited to see him and felt like I wanted to kiss him (and more!). We left the building and started going down that same street from the other part of the ream - the one near the Javits Center. Except this time the walkway was like a little flume with water. Kind of like a water slide but it stayed level. We rode the water all the way along the street - AND we were both nude.
    Then I was in this house that I didn't recognize. I knew some family lived there but I knew they weren't home. I was going from room to room doing various things. Two workmen in painter's uniforms were there and I was joking around with them.
    Then I was at the dinner table with the family that lived there. They were very cliche-rich. All old money and spoiled 30-something brats for kids at this large table with servants and no one was eating anything just slurping up booze. I was explaining the movie The Shining to one of the daughters and and sons. They seemed really interested in the film.

10/17/00:

OK, OK I know it's been forever since I entered my last dream (6 days) but everyone needs a break now and then. Truth is, I try to only spend a little time on it each day (since this page is really a hobby) and I was working on the Nathan Gluck interview for like, three days or something. Dream for 10/17/00:

    I am in some club house or make shift fort in some shanty town with a blond guy who wears glasses. We live there for some reason. There is a ladder that leads through the roof and into the fort, that's how you enter it. The guy I live with is very entertaining and resourceful. He is full of stories and is always talking. He also seems very street smart and I guess must be to be living like this for so long (which is the impression I get in the dream). I'm enjoying the living conditions and it really reminds me of the time I backpacked through Europe that one Summer. My roommate Michael appears is in the fort.
    Suddenly we are all in the apartment that Michael and I live in now. There are a bunch of people there. I think my friend Erik is there as well as Gregory and his cats Kiki and Kino. Michael is preparing to go on a trip and I am going to have the whole place to myself. I am laying on my bed with the pink bedspread and joking about Michael going somewhere. I think we are planning on all going out after Michael leaves. The webcam is turned off, oddly. He reaches over and says good bye to me and as he does he somehow "switches" his luggage with mine (which I had packed and sitting beside me for some reason). He leans over and shoves something in my pocket as I'm saying good bye and I realize it is the napkin that waitress in Flagstaff, Arizona gave us where she wrote directions to Sedona going through the switchbacks. I woke up at this point.
 

10/18/00:

    I am observing myself living in this "house" that is actually a woman dressed in a skin-tight body suit. It's weird. I see this image of this woman in this body suit that has all these swirling colors printed on it. She's dancing around like in the beginning credits of a James Bond movie, like she's dancing around a pole with dramatic lighting and it's in slow motion and stuff. I can see a "super-imposed" image of myself projected on top of her. Somehow I know that this is a representation of me "living" inside her, like she is a building you can inhabit. I see the picture of me projected on her slowly change, like I'm smiling or cooking or walking around in the "house" (her). I appear to have roommates in the house. At one point I see a spiral staircase inside her stomach somehow. This is part of the house. Very odd.

10/19/00:

    I'm in some unknown town looking at houses with a friend. We are driving around this sunny suburban neighborhood looking at houses, for one to buy. I am looking at the sun hitting the sparkling white concrete sidewalks and something makes me think we are in the 1970's. My friend (who was he?) says that when we are done we can go to 7-Eleven and get green Slurpees, he says this to me like a parent would say to a small child. We pull up to a house that we like. It is one-story and made of dark green transparent glass, with lots of weird parts of it jutting out all around.
    Then suddenly I'm running around in some weird town all freaked out because I don't have any money. It always looks like it's about to rain there. I'm all stressed out because I can't pay any of my bills and buy food and have to stretch every dollar to the absolute limit. I go into one area of the town and there is my house from Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas. I go inside and some guys I know are in the living room, but I don't know who they are. I decide that my money problems are the result of me not getting enough allowance. I run into my mother's bedroom and confront her about it. She is sitting at her bed with a tray and is arranging little disks or something on it. I am totally screaming at her and pointing my finger. She starts to argue.
    Then I am looking at some giant greeting card with a photograph of my dad on the front of it. It has an inscription on the inside and I realize it's an old card my dad must have given my mother before I was born. The picture of my dad has him in a bathing suit, and he looks very young. The inscription says something like "...the attention I'm paying to you now is forging roots toward a deep, healthy relationship." or something. I look below the photograph on the card and there is a little graphic of roots.
    Then I'm in a cafe and there is this overweight family sitting there. They are from the southern U.S. I think. They are talking to me about my cam and how they love to read my dream journal. I say thanks and ask them how they heard of it. The mother points to her son across the table and says "I don't really know" and the son (who's wearing a gimmie cap) says "I just stumbled across it...bookmarked it...now we all read it." and as he says this I see a little super-imposition of him bookmarking it.

10/20/00:

    I was living in this really weird little town where all the houses looked like little fiberglass molded things, like just plopped down by a crane or whatever. It is Halloween. I am going to a party and am putting on my costume. I am dressed as Quentin Crisp. As I am walking to the party I am suddenly with my roommate Michael. We go to the party and it is at a bar. We get into the bar and it's kind of empty and there is an awkward vibe. Michael and I sit at the bar and look around. I notice my Quentin costume is really half-assed. Just a polyester jumpsuit and a scarf draped over one shoulder. What was I thinking? I see my friend Micky Boardman and talk to him for a while. I look on the wall of the bar and there is a blown up picture of me with my nose taped-up that someone captured from my cam gallery, blew up and put on the wall. I'm like "Wow!". Then Micky hands me an issue of Paper and I see the same picture has been used in some fashion layout or something. On the picture (which has some models on it too) it has the words "Mark will you be on when I look at you on cam?" and I'm looking at it like "Huh?"
    We leave the party and go to another party at a house. Michael walks into the party but I decide to go walk around the streets. I wander into a series of restaurants and past by a bunch of quaint little shops and think "This is a cute little town". I walk into one restaurant and it is very, very classy - like you need a tie or something. I know I'm dressed like a slob but I just breeze past everyone and look at one of the menus on a table. I'm really impressed with the restaurant's decor: everything is covered in white paper, kind of like a Cristo work, and then everything has green pears on it, real ones. I notice the menu has no prices on it but has a really cheesy design and is laminated like you would see at T.G.I. Friday's.
    I go back to the party and on the way this couple who are dressed like people from The Flintstones pull up in a car made of logs and rocks. The woman has a bone in her hair and animal skin on. They seem like real back-water hicks and they ask me directions with real Southern-like accents. I tell them I'm not from around here and they pull away. This is a weird part of the dream because I actually thought to myself: "I can't believe I just dreamed that!" ...odd. I was aware I was dreaming.
    So I go into the party and am dancing with some people on the porch. Girlina is there and some other club people. We are making a vain attempt to act crazy and outrageous. Someone says to me "Let's wear Halloween costumes to school tomorrow" and suddenly I'm in junior high school again. I consider wearing a costume to school and figure I'll take it off after first period if it gets too embarrassing. I want to go with a pumpkin over my head and a giant pumpkin over my body - but where will I find a giant pumpkin that size? As I'm "leaving" that part of the dream - I see the exact costume I want hanging eerily from the ceiling of a dark high school hallway, with lockers behind it. Real creepy.
    Then I dream I get up and go to the bathroom to pee. I go into Michael's bathroom and pee into the toilet. I drip pee all over the floor, for some reason, and it makes these off-yellow stains on the floor. When I'm done I get a paper towel to wipe it up and as I'm wiping it up[ I notice that some of the drops on the floor have traces of blood and some are pure blood. This really, really bothers me.

10/21/00:

Can't remember dreams last night.

10/22/00:

    I am watching a scene from overhead. That scene is me getting trapped inside a wall in a building. I am slowly getting sealed inside this big black wall. On the other side of the wall is a crowd of people, a party of something. I am screaming "Help!!! Help!!!" but nobody hears me and the last few inches of the opening of the wall are getting sealed up. I can see people's legs as the hole is closing. I have no idea who is sealing the wall, it seems to be doing it by itself. No matter how loud I yell or how much I pound on the wall, nobody seems to hear me.
    Then, as soon as the hole in the wall closes up (and I get the impression that the seal will be forever), suddenly everyone in the room becomes aware that I am trapped behind the wall. I am still watching overhead, a bird's eye view - and I can see both sides of the wall. I see all the people in the party run over to where the hole was and they're all like "OK OK we called the fire department!!! Can you hear us!!! Hold tight help is on the way!! Can you breath!? Stand back we're gonna bust the wall down!!!" and everything. The weird thing is me. As soon as the wall has been sealed and I have everyone's attention I turn around and walk in the other direction - away from my side of the wall. My side of the wall is kind of dark but there is light. I turn around and stretch my arms out and walk into the space. I have a real happy look on my face and I just ignore all the people trying to get me out.
    Then, I am on the street on my bike with Michael. I have this funny idea for a sketch for our movie script. It's a parody of the Oprah Winfrey show. The sketch will go like this: Oprah will have the normal intro to her show and then, as soon as the camera pans past the clapping audience in the studio, it will focus on a gigantic box made of wood on the stage. The box will be painted black. It's like seven feet wide in all directions and is just siting there where Oprah would normally be. The clapping dies down and then you hear the muffled voice of Oprah coming from the direction of the giant black box on the stage. She is inside the box. She says "Hello! Today I am going to do the show entirely from inside this giant black box. I am going to be talking about invisibility and black issues related to being hidden. How will people react to me differently when I'm in this box? Will people treat me differently now that I am in this box? How will I deal with the discrimination of being inside the box? How will it effect my spirit? We are going to be talking with clinical psychologist and marriage counselor Dr. Blah, blah blah..." and on and on.
    Her voice is really muffled from being in there - and there are shots of the women in the audience being really quiet and leaning forward and straining their ears to try and understand her.
    They bring the Dr. marriage counselor out and a couple that is following behind him. He counsels couples on how to work out their problems. They are all walking out to the music and going to take a seat next to Oprah (in the giant black box) on her couches. Oprah's box is not on the couch but on the floor. They sit and all the commotion dies down and then there is a shot of the box and we hear the muffled voice of Oprah like "Welcome to the Oprah show doctor. I understand you have invited a few couples who are having trouble..." and all three guests are leaning forward and looking at each other with puzzled looks and trying to understand what she is saying from inside the box. Whenever Oprah is talking it is just this static shot of the box with no movement, because you can't see her.
    The counselor starts to council the couple and then every once in a while you hear Oprah's muffled voice try to interrupt them like "Are you ignoring me? Hello! Don't discrimate against me because I am in this box!!" The doctor and guests always stop what they are doing and try to understand Oprah's muffled ramblings and ask her to repeat herself and she's always like "Don't ignore me!" She ends up dominating every segment of the show by doing this.
    Michael and I discuss how to make the segment funnier.

10/22/00:

    I'm riding around Dallas in 1988 with my old Dallas friend Chuck (what is his last name?) We are riding around at night and the streetlights are passing by and all the buildings are lit up. We are in an old blue VW bug. Chuck is smoking and he keeps handing me his business card over and over and we are laughing a lot. At one point we're like "I wish there were more people to make fun of around here!" because it's all deserted for some reason.
    We drive into Deep Ellum and there is no one around. We go inside this abandoned warehouse and start taking pictures, or I do. Inside the warehouse is a Dunkin' Doughnuts, like in a food court at a mall, with a woman behind the counter. Chuck and I are like "Wow no way!". We go up to the counter and order a dozen doughnuts. When the woman puts them on the counter Chuck takes out his wallet and pays her. Inside the box of doughnuts I can see that the doughnuts have fur. I realize that they are curled-up little ferrets or minks. They look like they are still alive. I take them and look at them and am holding the box closer and closer to my face. I can see their beady little eyes. I look up and see that the Dunkin' Doughnuts is gone and the woman is gone and it's all dark in the warehouse. I look around and don't see Chuck anywhere. I look to my left out the window and see his blue VW bug pull away.
    Then I'm driving on a road trip in the 1999-2000 New Year's trip and we pass one of those green highway road signs that tell you how many miles it is to a certain city and what road to take or whatever. The sign is for New Mexico and the name of the town in New Mexico is my name. The sign says "Mark Allen - 319 miles".

10/23/00:

    Another dream involving Chuck. I am driving in a big, old car around Dallas. I realize at some point that I am in Dallas and I suddenly become really excited about going to Big Lake Park, the place I grew up in, in Plano, Texas. I'm thinking like "Wow I just need to go all the way down Custer Road until I hit it!" and I see a little image in my dream mind of the Terraserver website's satellite views of things - it's their 1981 overhead view of it.
    I try to figure out how to get to Custer Road and I think I am on Preston Road but I'm lost. My windshield is getting splattered with rain and the wipers don't work, or I don't know to turn them on. I can see other cars' brake lights and stop lights all blurry through the rain - plus it seems to be getting dark because of the rain.
    I pull the car over the side of the road because it's hailing really hard now. The giant hail stones are pounding down on the car really violently and I start to freak out a little bit. I'm just sitting there inside the car. Suddenly there is a lot of activity all around me. People are moving around and I see figures and hear cars honking and everyone seems to be getting out of their cars but I can't see them because of the violent rain hitting all my windows. Out of my peripheral vision I see Chuck's blue VW bug driving past and I somehow know that he's in it. I never make it to Big Lake Park (as usual).

10/24/00:

I'm pissed because I woke up in the middle of the night last night and was like "Whoa! What a dream! I can't wait to put it in my dream journal!" and now I can't remember it at all. I waited because I thought maybe it would come to me...no luck.

10/25/00:

    I'm driving down the street with a friend in the car. It's a suburban street in (surprise!) Plano, Texas that I remember from my childhood. It's day and there is a lot of activity in the street. My friend has to do something at one of the houses so he parks the car in the middle of the street and I wait for him. He takes forever and I keep having to move the car out of different people's way and it's really annoying.
    I am at a party and everyone in the party is totally drunk except for me. Really rip-roaring drunk. People are running around with lamps shades on their heads, drinking out of shoes, making out with each other - people that shouldn't are getting naked. It's total abandon like on a middle-aged cruise ship kind of total abandon. I don't fit in with anyone and I am totally sober and bored and I want to leave. The more mildly disgusted I become with the people around me, the more drunk and wild they get. People look me up and down and are like "Whaddya gavna druuuuuunk ah suptoon!" at my face and all, while they're doing like, a conga line nude or something. The place is getting really apocolyptic-ly insane.
    Suddenly I see that the guy who dresses like James Dean and that is always playing pool at the Phoenix and that I have a sometimes crush on is at the party. He's by himself and leaning against a wall drinking a beer. I suddenly am really self conscious and want to get out of there as quickly as possible. (This is so funny because last night I actually DID go to the Phoenix with a bunch of friends and I was playing pool with them - this same guy walked in by himself and leaned against the wall drinking a beer and my friends were acting so totally obnoxious that I was actually embarrassed and so I did what I always do to guys that I have a crush on - I stood right near him and totally ignored him.)

10/25/00:

No dreams last night. No sleep.

10/26/00:

Caught up on last night's missed sleep so I don't remember my dreams at all - weird night.

10/29/00:

OK I have no idea how my numbers got behind and I somehow skipped TWO DAYS!!! Geez Mark. And also hmmm...  no dreams again last night. The time change? If you read my "Head Case" diary entry for 10/29/00 you will see quite a scary "nightime while I was trying to sleep" entry...

10/30/00:

    I was staying on some ski resort. The ski resort was run by people from Switzerland or Finland or something. They were European and didn't speak English very well and were very polite. The people that worked there were always going out of their way to help you and if they weren't they were talking to each other in this other language.
    I was there with friends but I don't remember who they were. The thing is, is that I was a serial murderer who was killing people at the resort. I was dubbed "The Valentine Killer" for some reason. I wore a black ski mask when I killed my victims and I always killed them and dumped them outside the resort in the snow somewhere, where they would eventually be found. The whole time I was at the resort I was feeling really guilty that I was going to get found out and I was always waiting for the "moment" that I would get caught. It was a horrible feeling.
    I don't ever really remember killing anyone in the dream, although one time I remember hiding a bloody weapon in some trees in the snow at night. It was very creepy. Creepy because I think maybe this is how some serial killers operate - they aren't aware of when they are killing. Weird.
    Anyway at one point I remember my "character" in the dream was being "played" by another guy who kind of looked like me, like it was a movie. He had this friend who was a girl and they went on this day trip away from the resort. They walked away from the resort and started running and running into the woods that surrounded the resort. The woods eventually became like this steamy tropical jungle with lots of bizarre plants. My character was afraid the girl would discover some of the victims he hid out here, or some of the evidence. He also was convinced that when they returned from his trip the police would be waiting for him at the resort. He was beginning to wonder why it was taking so long to get caught.
    Then, suddenly at some point I am being chased back at the resort by Margaret Hamilton as The Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz" in her castle, which has replaced the resort. She and her monkey army totally know I am the killer and they are chasing me around the bridges and things of the castle against the moonlight -just like the scene in the movie where she's chasing Dorthy and friends around her castle right before she gets melted.
    Anyway, suddenly I'm back at the resort and I am myself. I have talked to people about The Valentine Killer and am like "Yea...how horrible...I hope they catch him!"
    We are going to this big party in one of the reception halls of the resort. I know there is a fresh victim on one of the snow drifts outside the resort and I'm concerned (hoping?) that it will be discovered during the party.
    At one point I think I see my friend Cathay Che but it's just someone who looks like her.
    At on point during the party I go to call my friend Gregory. The phone area is really weird. It is two boxes that are about waist-high and are white. One is a box with a phone and an answering machine on top. The other is a water fountain. The water fountain has what looks like answering machine stuff on the top of it - buttons you push and stuff. It's like the two operate together - when you are talking on the phone you can drink from the fountain and it acts like another line or something. Or you can call from the water fountain and can "hear" through the running water.
    The European people that can't speak English well are trying to show me how to work the weird contraption and there is a pig party all around us. I kind of figure it out and call my machine to check my messages. I hear that there is a message from Gregory. I am listening to it and somehow know that this is the last message I will hear form him before I'm hauled off to prison. Someone comes and drinks from the fountain and suddenly the line gets cut off and I know I'll never hear the rest of the message and I'm all pissed off.
    I never get caught.

10/31/00:

    I'm looking at a giant one-layer cake with the British actress Penelope Kieth. The icing on the cake looks like a TV guide listing - it is in graph form with really detailed letters and numbers and everything. It turns out that the graph is is a detailed chart listing every episode of the British sitcom "Good Neighbors" that ever aired.
    As I'm talking to Penelope (who was a star of the show for those who don't know), we are slicing each of the sections of the graph (each one being a single show) into pieces. I'm listening to her tell stories about the show as the cake is getting sliced up.