10/1/01:

    I am in an old world Chinese style room. Paper walls and everything. Outside the paper walls I think are the Shanrgi-La green hills of China. It's day time. The floor of the room I am in has a giant puddle of chicken soup on it. My friend Gregory is in the next room of the house. We are talking about something. At one point I have this giant round sponge. I place the sponge on the floor and it quickly absorbs some of the chicken soup. I pick up the sponge and turn it over so the other side can get absorbed by chicken soup. I think I have those wooden sandals and a white robe on. As I am doing this I shout to Gregory in the next room: "Yea, I stole your idea - I hope you don't mind!"
    Then there is this weird situation where I have this closet door in my house that I can open and look in whenever I want. When I open it I see these two white walls that stretch way way way off into the distance - like a hallway (with no floor or ceiling) that stretches off into infinity. The walls go up and down into infinity too - like I said no ceiling or floor. There is a guy about 50 yards from the closet door who is wearing all black, raincoat, boots, sunglasses - the whole thing looks like something out of "The Matrix". Whenever I open the door he makes some kind of "pose" - like he stands really stiff with his arms crossed, or he puts one leg up on one of the walls in a kung-fu pose or something. He'll just make the pose and then stand there frozen - I see it and then think "there's the pose for the time that I opened the door, I wonder what the pose will be next time?" Also, he has these lines of words that kind of float in space and are lined from the top of infinity to the bottom, like type-writer lines on a paper. Every time I open the door there is a new word - like a daily poetry or something.
    I am always opening the door to see what the new word is, but I have grown kind of tired of the poses. I open the door one time and all the words are gone(!) except for two lines right in the center of the hallway. I see that he has dumped all the words and has started over. Every time I open the door there will be a new word. I shout out to him from the open closet door: "Hey! Looks like you're starting over!" He just stands there frozen in his pose.

10/2/01:

    I'm in this weird room of some weird apartment that I can't recognize. I am with my old friends form high school Katy, Alyson, Sondra and Kim. I think Beth and Carolyn are there too - we were all kind of a clan so I'm sure they were. Often, many of us are laying down on the beige, industrial carpeting and falling asleep while others ruffle through the refrigerator. At various times, some of the girls seems to be ganging up on me and accusing me of lying. Sometimes they are joking but sometimes they are not. It's weird.
    Then I am in this very strange room with a NYC acquaintance, Michael Shmidt, and a long lost high school friend, Marty Gloyna. The room is very large and has these kind of railroad tracks on the floor. There is fold-out arena seating on one end (like in a gymnasium) and there are people in the seats. There is a woman in the room who seems to be "in charge" - like we are all in a class and she is the teacher or something. Michael, Marty and I show up at this room... and it appears to be "our turn" to get inside this GIGANTIC old fashioned covered bridge old house kind of thing that is in the center of the room. It seems that this giant house thing will follow the tracks, move along them, and move around to another side of the room - near a gigantic window that only opens up when the house is against it. This house also changes according to who is in it. The house changes from one time period to another depending on who's in it and what their "assignment" is.
    Michael, Marty and I walk into the giant house. It is long and wide and tall - like a covered bridge. There is a row of benches along one end - and on the other end it is kind of open - I assume so we can look out the window when the house reaches it. There are old paintings hanging above the inside of each entrance on each end - portraits - of people from a long time ago. The three of us walk in and sit on the benches. Marty is suddenly dressed in this Amish-looking attire for some reason and seems really excited (did she bring the outfit with her?) Michael looks very bored and just plops down on the bench and lights a cigarette.
    The house gets on the track and the teacher says something like "Go!". The audience breaks out into applause and keeps applauding wildly as out house slowly clacks and rumbles along the tracks and moves around the room. Every time the house starts to turn at an angle the audience rips into wilder applause and cheering. The teacher starts shouting to the audience "What time period id the house becoming class!?" and they all are shouting their answers with glee and enthusiasm! What a freak show!
    Out house is moving around and it slowly approaches the window. It gets there - with the open part facing the window - and the window kind of lifts up. As it does we realize that the glass in the window is slightly opaque or frosted, and amber in color. So the whole fake house lights up in this beautiful light caused from direct sunlight hitting the amber windows. We all kind of stop and look around and are like "Wow!" The audience outside is cheering wildly.
    Then the house kind of, somehow, quickly turns around and suddenly the light is gone and the non-open part of the house is facing the window - blocking the light. The open part of the house is facing the audience - who are far from us on the opposite part of the room. The audience has stopped cheering and looks really bored. You could hear a pin drop. The fluorescent light from the room floods into the house and it's really jarring and ugly compared to the sunlight thing. I look at Marty - she seems to have a bible in her hand. We turn around and look at the wall behind us - see the wood pattern - and talk about how we liked the sunlight. Michael seems to have disappeared.
    The house follows the tracks back to the beginning and we climb out and leave.
 

10/3/01:

    Very vague... all I can remember is I'm in all of these hallways all the time. Some building I don't know. Everything around me is made of wood. Everything seems lit by amber colored light. At one point I am looking at these pillows that are sculpted out of wood - you can see the grains of the wood, all stained and polished and everything. I think there are some people in the hallways, running in and out, with candles. There is a lot of activity going on. That's it.

10/4/01:

    Nightmare.
    I live in some giant modern-looking castle with all of these people that I don't know. They are young. There is a giant stone balcony that surrounds the castle. It is sunny day time. At one point, there is this opening on the side of one of the outdoor walls, balcony-level - it leads to this small enclosed room on the inside of the castle. I'm supposed to go inside there for some reason, before anyone else does. I crawl in the opening (which has this thin glass slit thing you have to fit through). Inside, on the opposite side of the wall, is a wall-mounted VCR-looking thing. I look at the VCR and tell everyone it's OK to come in. They do and we are all looking around. I seem to be playing a tape or something in the VCR. It's really claustrophobic. Suddenly it's time to leave. Apparently I have to be the last one to leave for some reason. I watch everyone crawl out of the opening onto the balcony. I think Buzz Aldrin and Tom Landry (I can see his famous hat) are in the room with us at this point.
    Suddenly, as I'm inside the room waiting to come out, there is this ominous, dramatic music playing that makes it sound like what I am doing is "dangerous". It's almost like there is a bomb I am trying to diffuse or something. Everyone is outside waiting for me to come out. I look over at the VCR and pop out the tape. A piece of the machinery that is not supposed to be removed comes out of the VCR instead. I realize I already had the tape in my hand. I place the piece of the VCR back in the slot and gently press it in. It seems to fit right in. I crawl out the hole and the ominous music swells. Everyone seems glad that I "made it out alive".
    Then I am running through these hallways of what I think are the administrative offices of a giant mall. There are all these wild characters in little camping tents lining the walls. They are all dressed in outrageous outfits, like club kids used to. I think that they all camp out here at the mall and try to peddle "classes" to people in the mall, classes like "How to do aerobics in a astronaut costume" or stuff like that. I seem to be aware that I "belong" to this clan because I would be peddling my massage service here in the mall. I am running past all of them really fast in the hall - trying to find an exit. I pass a guy giving aerobics instructions to a group - he is wearing an astronaut outfit. He sees me and asks me if I got the piece out of the VCR. I find a department store and know I will be able to exit the mall from there. I can see the giant windows of the area that has the doors which go outside to the parking lot. I somehow get caught up in this display that surrounds this staircase I was going down. I'm literally trapped in it - like it's a little maze. I end up having to get down and kind of crawl with my fingertips out of the bottom of it. I am thinking "The people watching me on the security cameras are probably having a good laugh at this. I wonder what they are thinking?" I never make it out.
    Then it is another time of the day and I am in this gigantic movie theater - with zillions of screens and concession booths and levels and escalators and everything. I am with this black guy who wears glasses and a scarf all the time, who's name I forget. I used to see him on this cable access show here in Manhattan all the time - he used to always review comic books and movies on his show. Anyway, I am with him for some reason and we are trying to find our movie. At one point I am walking up some stairs and I see an old high school friend, Becca, on the stairs. We make eye contact but don't say anything to each other.
    Then I am back at the castle. My family is living there with me. I am back out on the balcony. It is late afternoon. I am looking out over the lawn. The castle appears to be in a normal neighborhood. We seem to have a large lawn. The grass is dead like it's winter. This group of guys dressed in medieval armor (it's modern times) are all running onto the lawn. They look like they are playing a football game. They all have lances and shields. They are running onto our lawn and screaming like a war yell. My mother comes onto the balcony and we stand arm-in-arm and watch the game. We watch all the guys gang up on this one guy that is not in armor. They surround him and pins him between them all. Then quickly that put their lances through his body from all different angles. He is screaming and screaming. They are all laughing like it's part of the game. My mom and I are kind of watching in horror but can't look away. They then all tackle on the guy's body and crush him and bend his body sideways (while he is still skewered with the lances) and he is screaming in excruciating pain. At one point he stops screaming and we figure this is the point that he must have died. I run away to go back in the castle and say "I can't watch this!" my mother still stays and watches - she seems to be enjoying it.
    Then I am in my apartment and I am in the bathroom. Someone is knocking at my front door but I don't know who it is. It is daytime but there is an ominous feeling in the air. I can see the shadow under the door of someone moving outside the door. For some reason I know the person wants to do me harm. I also know, for some reason, that the person has a Donald Duck mask on. They knock a second time but I am real still and don't want them to know I am there. They eventually leave. It really, really creeps me out.
    Then it is very late at night and I am looking at the doorknob of my front door, from the inside. There are "pieces" of the American flag taped all over my door with Scotch tape. The blue and white star parts are cut off all of them so you only see the red stripes. They are just taped at the top so they kind of "blow" in the breeze. Why is there a breeze in my apartment? I kind of sense that some disaster has happened and there are whole walls missing in my apartment - like an explosion had happened. It seems post-apocolyptic or something. I see the door itself has had the lock broken off and is kind of opening slightly and then closing in the wind. I have a very scary feeling. Suddenly the door opens and it is complete pitch darkness outside the door - like ink. I hear a very scary laugh. It's like death is behind the door. It's terrifying.

10/5/01:

    It is night time and I have to go onto this very large bridge and go up to one of the little buildings near one of the giant supports and "do something". It looks kind of like the Williamsburg Bridge in Manhattan. It appears that there are all of these little strips of white paper with numbers on them pasted on the outside of the little building on the bridge. These correspond with television shows that are broadcast in the NY area. I have a TV show and, every Thursday (which this appears to be), I have to go "read" the numbers on my piece of paper and possibly adjust them by peeling off the piece of paper a little. Weird.
    I go up to the bridge and see a guard in front of the wire fence surrounding the little building. He is behind a reception desk, there is a nurse in a nurse's uniform with him. I also see another security guard behind the fence inspecting the strips of paper with a flashlight. I tell the guard "Hi I'm Mark Allen and I am here to inspect my numbers." Also for some reason I think I mention the word "turkey". He acts funny like something unusual is happening and gets on the phone on his desk. He is on the phone and is talking to someone. I get the feeling I'm not going to be able to look at my numbers. There seems to be some confusion going on. As he is on the phone - the nurse shakes his shoulder and says "Look!" pointing to their left. They both look over and look kind of scared. I look over to see what they are reacting to and see behind this little door on the bridge is this very official-looking man - and a few people with him. They are running around frantically with clipboards. The nurse says to the guard "The major inspector is here! That means there's been another attack!"
    Then I am in my apartment. Domenic is there. There is some kind of inspector or maintenance guy there who is dressed very nice. He is looking around the apartment. As he is I notice that Domenic has completely re-arranged his room and replaced his furniture. I love the way it looks - makes the place look bigger. The inspector or whatever, who's name I just learned is Pip, asks me to come into the living room. I notice one of the rooms in my apartment now looks like the yellow-walled living room in a house I briefly lived in, in Pennsylvania, as a child. He asks to see something on my computer. I go over to my computer and go through all these bookmarked pages. One of them flashes on the screen real big and there is a picture of Pip (the inspector) and he is nude and has a big hard-on pointing out right out to the camera that took the photo. The text on the screen says "Pip's Penis!" Pip goes "Whoa! Wait wait wait what the Hell...?" and I suddenly panic. It seems, now I am just remembering (in the dream) that the last time Pip was here, when he was in the bathroom or something, I snuck my camera around a corner and snapped a photo while he wasn't looking. Then I put the photo up on a webpage with this text because I thought it was funny. Now by coincidence the page, which had a cryptic url that no one would have probably ever seen, popped up on my screen just when he was here and looking at the computer. He is very angry and I am trying to deny it and it's this very Three Stooges-esque moment where I'm like "Well he..I...she...they...you see...I...what?" and I'm thinking "How am I possibly going to deny this? The photo is obviously from my bedroom."
    Suddenly Domenic and Pip are both gone. I go into my bedroom and see that Domenic, in addition to replacing his furniture, has taken huge chunks of my collage on my wall off and thrown them on the floor. I'm really pissed at him. I then take a nap.
    I am awoken by some loud splashing in the bathroom. I go look to see what is is. In the bathroom, part of the wall of the building has collapsed(!) and is dripping rainwater in. The building looks like it collapsed partly. Boy am I lucky! I quickly run into the living room and grab some stuff to evacuate. I wonder if anyone in the building was hurt. Did any other buildings get damaged? Was there another attack? I'm scared. I see a big new cracked hole in my living room wall and can see out of it. I see people on the street outside.
    I run downstairs and the hallway to get out of the building is crowded with a bunch of junk. I get outside and for some reason this crazy-contraption-looking car is there waiting for me. It has three wheels and is elongated triangle shaped. There is a big giant plastic bubble to sit in on for the driver. It looks like something from a screwball comedy film form the 1960's. I get in it and drive around Manhattan. All of the streets are completely void of any traffic whatsoever (except for me) and there are police barricades and patrolmen at every intersection blocking things off, just like it was downtown a few days following the September 11th attack. As I am driving the car I notice that the engine is completely enclosed in the plastic bubble with the driver. There is a black rubber hose thing with a large attachment on the end that feeds the exhaust out of the car. I have not hooked it up, so this whole time I have been driving around letting the car fill with carbon monoxide! I fiddle with it and try to hook it up. I suddenly remember that this is a car I used to drive around in when I lived in Dallas, how can I forget about the exhaust tube?
    I stop at Lafayette Street above Houston and get out. I go up into the building that houses Indochine. I have another apartment there for some reason. I go inside and I see that the hallway of my building looks exactly like a dorm I lived in at one point in college. I am opening my door with a key (the exact placement of which is one of the rooms I lived in, in the dorm) and I see my friends Rob and Aaron from NY coming out of the room next to mine. I say "Hi!" and I ask them what they are doing. They seem really happy. I pretend not to know that it is Rob at first and then act like "Oh Rob! Hi!" when I pretend to figure out that it's him. It seems Rob and Aaron have this digital video camera and they are making a movie. They are going to one of the locations to scout it out. They are telling me about the film. Then they go off.
    I leave the building and am walking around the West Side Chelsea Piers area of NYC, it is night time. The entire pier area is in total rubble. I am walking in the direction of the meat packing district. I am climbing over giant hills of rubble dirt and am leaping from giant concrete and iron girder chunk to giant concrete and iron girder chunk. It's kind of fun. I seem to have super hero powers or something. I see one of the piles of rubble has a giant clock face on it. I keep passing people that I kind of know peripherally from the club The Lure. I always pass them, or groups of them and they are like "Hi Mark" or sometimes they say nothing. At one point this group of five people are on this giant slab of crooked concrete that is above me and they are looking down at me. They are dressed really wacky like they are into nightlife and go out to clubs all the time and are really into it. I recognize one of the people is my friend Ffloyd. One of the girls with them points her frilly umbrella down at me and says "I want you on my team!" She then does this impressive, slow motion forward flip down onto my concrete slab, like a super hero. I don't want to hang out with them or any of these people from The Lure. I get out of that rubble area full of club people kind of casually.
    I go back to my apartment on Lafayette. I see that I have posters on some of the walls. I have also drawn on some of the walls with markers. I think of Rob and Aaron living next door to me.
    I soon learn that Phyllis Diller lives in my building. I think this is really great and seem to be learning it for the first time. I am out in the hall of the building. Everything is red velvet. I see Rob and Aaron with a big group of people in the hall. They are about to get ready fro a big shoot. I'm impressed with Rob and Aaron's ability to get all these amateur actors all together at once. All the actors are yawning and rubbing their eyes. They leave. I go downstairs into the lobby.
    I see Phyllis Diller (who looks nothing at all like Phyllis Diller) greeting a guest in the foyer and taking her up to her apartment. I say to her "Don't you hate when guests come visit here and they have to see this decrepit, skanky lobby and hallway until they get to your apartment?" Phyllis rolls her eyes and says "Tell me about it!" and takes her guest upstairs. I look out on Lafayette street from the entrance to the building. It is pouring rain and still night time. I guess Rob and Aaron will have to film in the rain.

10/6/01:

    I am "visiting" Rex Booth of RexsWorld.com. I am visiting him somewhere in California. He lives in this really elaborate gigantic habit-trail-looking thing that has all these levels and clear glass tunnels and tree house-looking, glass enclosed rooms with lots of plants and futons and pillows and wicker chairs and incense butners and the works. It's amazing! It's sunny ouside and the sun is shining in all the different rooms and reflecting into infinity. I'm really "Feeling California". Rex and I are making out on one of his beds. There are these long, mechanical robot camera mounted everywhere. The robot camera look like giant zoom lenses, all long and everything. The cameras have all these concentric rings of brightly colored plastic that move all around them and make noises like *b-z-z-z-t-t-t!* and *w-h-i-i-i-r-t-t-t!* and stuff when they are automatically focusing. Rex and I are making out and the cameras are recording us. The sun is shining in all around us and birds are chirping and wind chimes are blowing and everything is sweetness and goodness and bright sun light.

10/7/01:

    I am watching a commercial on Comedy Central for an upcoming British comedy show. The show is very "League Of Gentlemen"-style and may even have the same actors. The ad shows the actors in an alley, as men, getting blow jobs from women. But the joke is that some of the "women" in the alley are men dressed as women and this caused lots of comic hilarity. In one of the scenes I see my friend Robert Garcia is one of the actors in the skit. He is dressed as a woman and has come all over his face. Fake come because it is a TV show. He is really hamming it up. The audience is roaring with laughter.
    Then I am watching a documentary on PBS about prison sex. It shows this ritual about how all the inmates wait along the edge of the shower walls and just stand around and talk. They wait for some whore to show up and start blowing them all. This is the pattern. The documentary shows it all with an overhead camera. It's like a "behavior of the animals" documentary.
    Then I am with an old boyfriend whom I haven't seen in years, Giovanni. We are going to a gallery somewhere in NYC (that, as usual in my dreams, looks nothing like NYC). We get to the gallery and the girl who works there, who we know, shows us the art. It's really expensive. We don't buy any and leave. Then we go back for some reason. I draw these little scribbles on napkins and put them up on the walls when the girl isn't looking. Then I go "Hey! I like this one! I'll buy it! Look it says it's only a dollar!" but she barley seems to notice. She says we have to leave because some friends are coming over to work on some project. As we are walking down the outdoor stairs (the gallery was on a second floor of a building), I see a big truck pull up and all these rock and roller type looking people get out. One is Miss Guy from the Toilet Boys. She is pointing a giant camera at the front of the gallery. I say "Hi" to her and we leave.
    Then I am with Domenic. We are at some nightclub. I am drinking this giant red drink and we are standing at the bar. This overweight, woman/man Pat-style androgynous looking loud person walks up with some other people and says "Hi" to Domenic. Domenic talks to this person and as he does the person grabs my drink behind my back and downs the whole giant thing in one giant gulp. Then they are laughing and interrupting Domenic and saying "Ha ha ha! I just drank Mark Allen's drink! Oh my God I can't believe I did that! Ha ha ha!" She/he won't look me in the eye the whole time.
    I'm like "Hey! She/he did!" and I'm really pissed off. Domenic tries to introduce me to him/her. and I'm yelling at him/her in a kind of polite way. The person then goes and lays on the floor, laughing the whole time, because he/she/it is so drunk now. We leave. As we are walking out the door Domenic says people that I don't know do things like that because they want to make an impression on me.
    Then we are walking down a dark residential street. We are looking for a taxi to take us home. We end up in what we think is an alley but is actually someone's garage. We are wandering around laughing at stuff and are kind of spooked by the darkness. Suddenly from behind this hallway comes John Blair holding a laundry bag. This is his garage attached to his house we are in. He's like "Mark! What are you doing here?" and I'm like "We're looking for a cab to go home. What's up with you?" and he says "In my garage?" and I say "This is your garage? We thought it was the street! Hahaha oops!" I feel kind of ditzy and embarrassed but we really thought it was part of the street and the garage door was left open. John kind of subtlety hints that he will give us a ride home in his car but for some reason that doesn't happen. He explains how he's doing laundry  blah blah blah and we talk for a while.
    Then Dom and I are back out on the street. It's still night. Domenic starts doing all these crazy stunts like breaking into people's windows and running inside and then quickly back out their front door. He seems to be in a wild mood.
    Then it is daylight suddenly and we are in a completely different state in another part of the US. I don't know where. We are walking around this barren shopping center in some small town and we come upon this Chinese Supermarket. We go inside and shop for all these itty bitty Asian-style food items and we put them inside this miniature cooler. One item I want is behind this very bored looking Asian woman sitting behind this table selling these long things that look like sticks of fake crab meat soaked in BBQ sauce. No one is buying them and she looks very forlorn. She is also in the frozen foods section and is probably cold.
    We are back outside. We are walking to the intersection, all tall dead weed grass blowing in the breeze and sunlight, sparkling things in the concrete of the streets and cubs and sidewalks in the sun, those yellow dome things in the street to direct lanes, the clickity clicking of the traffic stoplights, a drive through ATM bank that no one is at that has the 7-11 logo on it, a side street that leads to a lavish suburban home area. It's very nice and peaceful.
    Suddenly I stop Domenic and I am walking and I say "Whoa! Stop! Oh my God! I have BEEN to this intersection before! I recognize it somehow! It must of been years ago because it has changed slightly but still I know I have been here! What state are we in?" Domenic doesn't know. Neither do I.
    It is then that I realize I am on my road trip and Domenic has come with me and we are on foot for some reason.
    Then we cross the intersection (with our little cooler of Chinese food items) and go down this embankment of grass and we come upon this river that runs between these two cliffs. There are all kinds of people floating in the river leisurely, on inner tubes and home made rafts and stuff. Drinking beer and laughing, it's like a party. We go down and get into the water. It feels great! We take off all our clothes except our underwear and wade through the cool water. The sun is shining and everything is BEAUTIFUL! People are like "Hey! Welcome! Wanna beer?" and it's all so great. We place our bags, which we suddenly seem to have and are full of some expensive cameras, down on a little rock as we wade deeper into the river. I am concerned about this. Will someone steal them? Dom and I discuss if this is the environment in which people would steal. It's kind of hippy-like and peaceful but you can't be too sure. Our clothes are on the rock too.
    Domenic and I now have this hot dog shaped raft and we are leisurely paddling along. It's great. We come upon all these different areas with different people floating and different little events going on. At one point we are floating beside this giant curtain and as we do we are eating the contents of the cooler. I am eating a miniature ear of butter-soaked corn and Domenic says he wants one too but I see he already does. I also see itty bitty pieces of our camera equipment in the cooler. I wonder how our bags and clothes are. Then as we pass the edge of the curtain we look up and we see a giant audience sitting up on the edge of the river on the land, like arena seating. There is an MC floating on the river, which seems to be a stage, announcing stuff. As we float out the entire audience breaks out in applause and cheers. Domenic and I are caught off guard and are like "Huh?" We kind of wave to everyone while we float by eating our little ears of Chinese corn. It is at that point that I realize we are both totally naked.
    Then it is night and we are at the bottom of one of those giant concrete spillways that you see in LA, with pillars and bridge overpasses and everything. I am looking up at the bricks of this wall, in the moonlight, and I can hear Cindy Wilson and Kate Pierson of The B-52's kind of harmonizing over this drumbeat. The bricks seem to be channeling a live feed of the B-52's recording stuff for their new album. It sounds really beautiful and I feel totally at peace.

10/8/01:

No dreams.

10/9/01:

No dreams.

10/10/01:

    Another dream where I'm going back to college. I am in my same dorm building as my freshman year, at the same college. But it is 2001. I am settling into my room. All the other people in the hall seem to be girls. At one point I am sitting in my room and I realize I forgot to register for any classes. Just then I see this girl sitting in her room smoking a cigarette saying "I forgot to register for any classes one semester so I just hung out the whole time! Woo hoo!" in a really deadpan, funny voice. The girl is short, brunette and smoking a cigarette (I will become her later in the dream). I am looking around my room - there is a lot of stuff. I think I see my old college friend Shane at one point.
    I notice in this dream that it always appears to be dusk or dawn light outside.
    I also seem to live in another house somewhere else on campus. It is from this house that I do some sort of radio broadcast over the campus radio station on a certain time every day. I am looking at these itty bitty records that are on top of this red, metal filing cabinet. One is a Nina Hagen record and it has this little cut-out picture of her head you can pop out and play as a record. Where do you play these things? a tiny record player? I see WFMU.org DJ Pseu Braun in my room at one point. She seems casually interested in looking at my itty bitty record collection but I'm not sure. It seems to be early morning and she is kind of walking around my place with a giant mug of steaming coffee, trying to wake up. She is mumbling about punk rock books.
    It is at this point that I learn that there is a serial murderer on campus somewhere who is targeting girl's sororities.
    Then I am at some house of this couple that I seem to know. The couple is Chinese. They speak very little english. They have a beautiful, gigantic home with lots of everything made from beautiful smelling pine wood. I think the floors are that weird kind lacquered, uneven rock. The couple has this kind of cookie jar-shaped, fat charicature of a ninja warrior that actually contains cooked white rice. They keep it on the shelf in their living room and it is always full. There seems to be this thing that I always do when I visit them, something that they love. We all sit in the living room, I pull the ninja warrior cookie jar full of rice off the shelf, open it, and say "You dirty chink!" in a mock-chinese accent. This makes the couple rock with laughter and they are like "Again! Again!"
    Then I am back in my room looking at this weird drawing on the wall that seems to be a calendar of sorts, but it's got all these squiggly colored shapes and things drawn on it that are supposed to represent some kind of schedule or something. I am smoking a cigarette while I am looking at it and I am a short, stocky, brunette girl with short hair.
    Then I am with my friend Gregory and we are sitting in this strange movie theater. The seats all line the two right and left walls perpendicular to the screen and face the middle, making a kind of runway. We are sitting there, sitting up on the backs of the seats with our feet up. There are few people in the theater. There are coming attractions playing on the screen. They are showing one for some wild, highly stylized (Japanese?) computer animated thing that is supposed to be mind blowing. I am looking at it saying "Greg we have to go see this. And lets... you know... do that thing we do sometimes. I know you're not into it but lets do it. Just one hit right before we see the film! It will make it so cool! This way even if the film is lame, which it looks like it is, we will think it's like a vision from God or something!" He seems to agree and I am surprised.
    We are outside the movie theater at one point, in the dusk light with the blinking lights from the overhead marquee looking all sparkly and beautiful. There are trees and green shrubbery around.
    Then I am back at the dorm. There has been another murder at a sorority house while I was out. I am looking at these cryptic drawings of shapes left by the killer on the crime scene. They look similar to that thing I was looking at earlier. Everyone is looking at the drawings like "I wonder what they mean?" Just then I start to get these disturbing flashes of images from the murdered girl's rooms in my head. There is blood all over the walls. It really bothers me. I wake up suddenly to my alarm.

10/11/01:

    I am walking around some suburban area that I do not know. I live there. There is something involving my brother and father but I'm not sure what. I think I may have been using a big RV that my father owned - I was using it with my friend Matt and we were damaging it somehow and my father was "mad". I was a very "back in childhood" kind of thing. I even felt like I was back in my alley at my childhood home in Plano, Texas. Then there was some dramatic thing with my father but I can't remember what.
    When my roommate Domenic left for work this morning, he woke me up at two separate times (in real life). Each time he did I kind of half dreamed/half awoke that I had all these plastic buttons placed all over my bed that had wires attached to them that were running under the bed. The lights blinked and were props to make my bed look like a space ship control board. I think I had the feeling I wanted to "impress" Domenic.
    Then I am back in the suburban area with someone I don't know, and I wander into this theater, losing my friend. They are showing a small town version of "Phantom of the Opera" there. Show time is in about one hour. Some woman comes up to me and asks me to get the little stage ready. I start helping to do that. I'm arranging stuff on the stage and in the seats and making sure the actors' clothes are where they can find them. Then the actors all come in and they start mulling around the stage and there is a lot of activity.
    Then I seem to be inside this weird Target/Wall Mart/Kmart-type store that is inside another giant store of the same type. The outer store acts like a "shell" kind of and the inner store is in the middle - parking lot, automotive department, plant department, the works - but all indoors. The inner store, in the inside of it, is a world unto itself. It has, what looks to me, like NYC's Central Park on the inside. Or maybe it's Prospect Park in Brooklyn. It's very interesting. You can see the sky and everything. I see someone I used to know from the club scene in the park and they are standing there in that heroin-daze when you know they are on smack and I am thinking "Wow I guess they do heroin." I later see this person kind of running around like they are off the drug. I feel like I have gone back in time. I am seeing a lot of people from my NYC club past in the park.

10/12/01:

    I am in an office building of sorts. It is very large. I am in a board room, sitting at a long table with a bunch of people. There is someone's head, not alive, sitting in the center of the table. There is someone standing at the head of the table, our boss I guess, telling all of us what we have to do with the head. I am looking at the head and seeing that it is not all human. There are machine parts all over it. The machine parts kind of form a "box" around it and the machine parts are not made of metal - they look like they are made of red clay.
    Then I am at a football game in an outdoor, college sized arena on a sunny beautiful day. I have to go to the bathroom and I see that the bathroom is on this white metal platform that juts out from the midway along the seat - out onto the field, but stops just short of where the field starts. It's like a stage. The bathroom is this high-tech, translucent blue glass and neon thing, shaped like a large phone booth. It is made of all these layers of almost opaque dark blue glass. You would not be able to see anyone inside it. The whole contraption looks like one of those dinky glass elevators you see at malls, the kind that go only 2 floors up or down. The box has these moving prop giant hammers behind the first layer of glass that move like those animatronic displays at Disneyland. The doors to go in the bathroom box look like elevator doors.
    The thing is, when anyone uses the bathroom in this box, when they flush, the hammers all fall down, the neon lights blare, this loud whistle blows and the hammers hit this weight, which goes up on this pole that reaches alongside and way above the toilet box - and if it reaches the top you win the grand prize and everything goes *DING!DING!DING!*  It's like one of those things at carnivals where guys try to hit the weight thing with a big hammer and try to make the weight go all the way to the top to prove how strong they are. Except in this case it's how hard you flush the toilet. You can't see what's going on outside the box when you are in it. Every time someone flushes the toilet and the whistle blows and the weight goes up and all the entire arena cheers really loud hoping it will reach the top. And when the person comes out of the toilet box and looks up to see how they did they get a giant round of applause. Everybody's really into it.

10/13/01:

    All I remember is kind of observing this guy who had accidentally been admitted into an insane asylum. My "dream" showed him kind of wander into the asylum by accident because he was lost and, through some pretty remarkable circumstances, he was suddenly mistaken for a patient, sedated, and placed in a maximum security cell. He was in there for a long time because every time he protested they just thought he was delusional.
    The "narrative" of my dream seemed to jump ahead a few months where he is out of his straight jacket and maximum security cell and is allowed to wander the asylum in his normal clothes. He devises this plan where he hires, somehow, a friend of his on the outside (who is an expert at pyrotechnic stunts) to run into the front entrance of the asylum while completely engulfed in flames. The mistaken-insane guy figures this will cause such a commotion that he will be able to slip out undetected.
    The big day finally arrives where this guy's friend is going to run into the reception area covered in flames and the guy has already picked a door to sneak out of during the confusion. Something very strange happens though and, when the moment arrives, the friend on fire runs OUT of the asylum onto the street (how did he get in in the first place?) and the mistaken-insane guy runs from outside on the sidewalk INTO the asylum (how did he get out?) I see the nurses admitting the mistaken-insane guy again and he has this look on his face like "What in the Hell just happened?"

10/14/01:

    I have to give this massage to some guy in the hallway of an expensive lobby. Whenever I arrive to give him a massage, he is lying down on the ground in his underwear with a chalk outline of his body - like he's a corpse at a crime scene. He always rocks with laughter at this like it's so hysterical, then he gets up and I massage him. He seems to live in the hallway of this building. /he has some kind of project going on in the hallway, with lots of tables with scientific equipment on it and stuff. Very odd.
    Then I am outside the hotel and I am sitting on this grassy incline. It's a beautiful, sunny Spring day. We seem to be in a kind of city area. It kind of reminds me of Chicago. There are a bunch of gay men all sitting out there sunning themselves. I am putting down a blanket in the front of where everyone is sitting and I am going to massage someone in front of everyone like a show. I feel really nervous. They guy who I am going to massage comes out and everyone kind of applauds but most people aren't paying attention. It's very awkward. They guy comes out and he looks like he's about 1,000 years old. His skin is hanging off the bone and his body is covered in sores and he has a walker I think and maybe a goiter. I'm like "Oh my God!" and I don't think I can do it. The old man is laughing. I'm freaking out and I tell the guy that I don't know if it's going to work out. I'm looking up at the small crowd that will watch me and only a few are paying attention but those that are have their mouths wide open in shock.
    Then I kind of float over the audience to the back and see my old friends Moises and Peter. They both, in my dream, have AIDS and are inside this giant glass box that is in the middle of the grass. They are planting plants inside the box and there is also part of a car in the box. It seems to be some kind of performance art or something. They seem to be spending as much time in the box as possible. Are they being quarantined because they have AIDS? That's the impression I have in my dream. They both look filthy and I am looking at Moises and sometimes he changes into another person. They are both filthy. Larry Kramer drives up in a car and I lean into his window and talk to him. I see a lot of old Act-Up faces around. Suddenly I look down the grassy incline and see myself massaging the 1,000 year old man. Everyone is now paying attention. People are are watching with weird fascination. I can't believe I am doing it. It's totally bizarre.
    Then I am at some weird looking McDonalds. I am waiting in this weird line where you order your food from this girl behind this little class enclosure. She shoots your food and change out of this little plastic tube thing that she can control with her hand. The guy in line ahead of me is flirting with the girl and taking a long time talking to her. I'm kind of pissed and want him to hurry but then, as I'm standing there I say to myself "Mark, life is short, enjoy the moment and relax." which I do. Then it's my turn in line and I get up there and can't find the number of what I want on the board.

10/15/01:

    I'm in an unknown place. A town that may be in the southwest somewhere. At certain points I seem to be on some college campus. At one point I am in this giant movie theater. I am with people I don't know. There seems to be some kind of drastic situation going on - like there is a killer after me and my friends. Can't remember it though.
    Then I am in this big warehouse space downtown. I seem to on some big game show called "Outsmart The Millionaire" or something like that. But it's like some reality show or something like that. We are all in this room mulling around and are being casually asked trick questions like: "You are in Hell and are offered a way out. You come upon two doors, each with one man sitting in front of it. One door leads out to freedom and one leads to certain doom, but you don't know which, also one man always tells the truth and one man always lies, but you don't know which is which. You can ask one man one question. What is that question?" Mind-bending stuff like that that is really supposed to make you think. Apparently the "millionaire" is observing us via a remote cam or something and is going to pick the one of us that is smartest. We are all really bored and I think we are eating chips and onion dip. I am looking out on the street below and it's kind of rainy and maybe looks like the local Chinatown. I get the impression that we are not allowed to leave.
    Then its my turn to be asked a question. On the coffee table someone has arranged these silver candle holders and toothpicks and cloth napkins and stuff to form four points of a rectangle. The "host" of the game show tells me something about how I'm supposed to reach into the rectangle and touch the table but I have to only intersect two points at once or something like that, I can't remember. Everyone is sitting on the couches really bored, watching, even me. Only the "host" is really hamming it up for the show, acting all serious and dramatic.
    I don't even want to be be there and I can't possibly get into concentrating on the "puzzle". I want to leave. I reach over and kind of quickly shove one of the candle holders over. I say "There, that's the best I can do." Everyone kind of chuckles. The host looks a little peeved. He looks at me and says "Well Mark, you loose this round because you got the question incorrect. Let's see what the millionaire thinks!!!" and suddenly he points to his right and I look over and there is the millionaire! In the room! This seems really "shocking" for some reason.
    The millionaire is standing there and he looks Pakistani and very well dressed - not very good looking. He has this totally angry look on his face and is glaring at me. He leans over and whispers something to the host and as he does he writes something down on a napkin, like instructions or something. Then, he does "something", what I don't know, and causes everyone in the room to simultaneously go unconscious. Weird.
    When I wake up, it's like an action movie or something. The millionaire has me on the floor of the driver's seat of a giant 18 wheeler that is moving full speed through the Arizona desert! My hand is handcuffed to the accelerator pedal and the pedal is locked down! The cargo the truck is carrying seems to be a HUGE horse racing track - the ENTIRE THING! The arena itself, full of people, the track in the middle, with horses and trainers, the parking lot - everything. Somehow it is attached to the bed of this truck and I am pulling it along. The part of the arena facing the truck is glass and all these people are pressed against the glass watching like "Help us! Help us Mark!" Everything is falling back and forth because the truck is zig zagging full speed through the sand at full speed - everything could crash at any moment. It's very surreal and like something out of a James Cameron film.
    Suddenly I am watching the truck, with me in it and everything, from afar. I have gotten the cuffs loose and am now trying to drive the truck. I am thinking "I don't know how to drive a stick shift, or an 18 wheeler!" and I imagine myself destroying the transmission as I grind the truck and arena to a halt, which I do.
    Then I am in a hospital and these doctors are "pulling out" the top layer of people's tongues - which reaches all the way down your throat. When they pull them out, they look like shedded snake skins. The process doesn't seem painful, just weird. When the doctors or nurses pull one out, they hold it up for everyone to see and wiggle it and say "Ohhhh! Look at Jerry's!" or whoever's they just pulled out. Some people's are longer than others, and I start imagining the exact logistics of why this is.

10/16/01:

I had a lot of dreams last night I know, because I kept waking up, but for some reason I cannot remember them.

10/17/01:

    I am living in some kind of large, modern building that looks like offices but is actually a home. I live there with a bunch of people and we are all terrorists. My ex-boyfriend Giovanni is living with me and we are lovers again. He just got out of the shower and is laying on this giant white couch all wet. I go over and start licking his body all over. We are making out nude and it's beautiful. I know that later that evening we have to go do something bad, like go blow up a building or something.
    That's it.

10/18/01:

    I am staying in some building that at some times seems like a high school and at other times is this very expensive, posh hotel. At one point I am in the gymnasium/theater of the school. All the lights are out. I can only see things from the light coming in the skylights. I am trying to get these ice cream sandwiches and nutty waffle cones out from this crawl space above the stage. I am trying to knock them out by throwing things up there. I am also holding this skinny tie that I seem to need for some reason. I seem to have to get these ice cream thing for some upcoming assembly in the gym that is going to happen very soon. I sense that the student body is going to be there at any minute and I have to do this before that for some reason.
    Then I walk down this long hallway that has windows on the right side. It's daylight outside. I get to the end of the hall and I am in my room at this fancy hotel. My mother, brother, dad and grandfather (r.i.p.) are all staying there. The decoration of the hotel is kind of rococo Colonial American - if there is such a style. We all have separate rooms and all our rooms meet in the center hall which looks like something out of Versailles, lots of gold leaf and mirrors. Now that I think about it - it kind of looks like the White House, just a lot more over the top. Anyway, that last comparison would make sense because my mom and dad are running around, really excited because it seems we are going to be having dinner with president George Bush Jr. Both my parents are thrilled and very excited. My mom is running around ironing things and seeing what me and my brother are wearing. It's like we're kids. I start to freak because I have no formal clothes (where's that skinny tie?). I have this flash memory - of something that happened as a child - of one time when I wore a skinny tie to a wedding because I wanted to look "ska" and my mom yelled at me in the car. I see my dad and grandfather in the hallway (both in white, monogrammed bathrobes) talking about politics and stuff, getting ready to impress George with their political ideas. I am in my room looking out the window. It's raining outside. I notice there seems to be some mysterious nude woman in my bed in my room - I have no idea who she is. I imaging myself at the table with the president and my family. Do I have the right kind of jacket? Should I be all nice and pretend to be perfect? My folks would love that. This is an important moment for them and doesn't really mean much to me. I guess I'm be all nice and put on an act. It will be fun! I will just act all casual and chat to the president about non political stuff. I'm looking forward to it.

10/19/01:

    I'm in some area with people I don't know. We are on the ground floor of this rickety building made of plywood and scrap metal that a bunch of people are in. When you are inside the building it is really big - it goes up like 20 stories or something. It seems to be a kind of nightclub or giant party or something. Each floor is packed wall to wall people drinking and laughing and partying. Everyone is laughing and screaming and hanging out the cut-out windows. I feel like I'm in college again.
    Suddenly the whole thing collapses from the inside. The inner part of the building collapses - but the ground floor and outer shell are still intact. People are screaming and you can see the ceiling of the ground floor buckling under the weight of all the rubble. Blood starts to run from the walls and we are all freaking out. Little holes punch out of the ceiling and a bloody arm or leg will pop out and just dangle. We are all running around (but not leaving for some reason). There is this fat guy with a beard that is shouting commands at everyone to search for survivors. We start to look around with these giant, lit fluorescent light tubes for people's faces in the ceiling - like seeing if they are blinking and are still alive. We are moving very casually. I can still hear muffled disco music. My mood is surprisingly calm.

10/20/01:

    There was this weird thing where I am "watching" an episode of The Simpsons, but it's all I can see, not like I see it on TV but the animated show is my actual dream or whatever. In the episode, Bart, Lisa and little Maggie all die of some weird disease at the same time. The show shows their death as little "x"'s in their eyes. Then Homer and Marge decide, on the same day, since their three children are dead they have nothing left to do anymore and their can be no more episodes of the show. This is what I'm "getting" in the dream. So Homer and Marge decide to kill themselves and end the series. The show ends with them in their bed, in their pajamas, with little "x"'s on their eyes, dead, because they took sleeping pills or poison or something. The camera just stays on their motionless bodies for a long time, like it's supposed to be a poignant moment or something.
    Then I dreamed that I was in my kitchen. Their was this weird, long triangular-shaped piece of aluminum jutting from the door to the kitchen sink. It is pouring rain in my kitchen. The whole thing reminded me of the last scene in Dario Argento's "Tenebre". Anyway, I think the aluminum piece was supposed to represent my car on my upcoming road trip. It is raining and sometimes I am outside in some wind-swept landscape, then back in my kitchen, then in some wind-swept landscape, then back in my kitchen again back and forth like that. Except it keeps raining the whole time. I am getting drenched continuously in both scenarios. I am standing out in the rain in my kitchen and in the outside landscape and that is supposed to represent my amazing freedom while on the road. I am thinking about the seats in the rental car getting wet and I don't care. Then while in my kitchen I am thinking "It is raining in my kitchen and I'm not even questioning it because it's a dream analogy about my freedom on my upcoming trip."
    Then I am in this weird scenario where I am an assistant to some surgeon in some kind of futuristic setting. There are all these patients that are anesthetized and strapped to these bizarre tables and chairs in weird positions in these isolated areas with spotlights under them. The whole thing is in a large room. There is one doctor going from patient to patient performing critical operations and there are all these nurses running around trying to assist them. It looks like a rogue operation going on - like the doctor and nurses are getting by the best they can with what they can. I feel like I am in the future and that maybe a war is going on.
    At one point, I am looking at this anesthetized patient who is sitting upright in this weird chair. He has a round spotlight on him and is in critical need of some kind of heart operation. There is a little machine with red lights hooked up to his heart that goes "beep...beep" when his heart beats. The doctor runs over and hands me a plastic-wrapped syringe and says "Mark, quick, give this man an injection in the something something muscle! Stat!" (can't remember what term he used). I have the syringe in my hand and I'm like "No way! I have no idea how to do this! I don't know what I'm doing! I might inject the guy with air bubbles or something!" I'm really making a stink about it because I don't want to end up hurting the guy because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm feeling really strongly about this even though the doctor and nurses keep shouting at me "Just do it Mark!!" and I'm really standing my ground like "No!" Finally the doctor grabs the syringe from my hand and goes behind the patient. He uses the syringe to puncture this little hole in this circle of maroon colored paper that seems to be part of the patient's body or heart. I can kind of "see" this up close. As he does this I hear the sound of air escaping - like a punctured tire. Suddenly the beeping on the patient's heart machine starts beeping faster and faster and it seems like something is wrong. Suddenly I am awake and I realize the beeping is actually my alarm clock. This is really how I woke up!

10/21/01:

No dreams.

10/22/01:

    I am in some weird house living there with my mother. The living room and kitchen area are very spacious and have reflective black tile on the floors. It is nighttime outside. My mother has just gotten in from shopping. She puts her backs of stuff she bought (clothes) on a sofa in the kitchen and goes into the bathroom to take a shower. She asks me to take all the clothes out and unwrap them out of their packages and stuff. I ask her if there are any straight pins in the wrapped shirts that might prick me and she says "No". I take out these shirts that are all folded up perfectly and wrapped in plastic and have those cardboard thingies in the collar and all the sharp little straight pins hidden in them and all. As I am unfolding and unwrapping all of them I wonder if I have gotten stuck by any pins. I look at my hands and don't see any pins or blood. I don't feel any pain - so I guess not.
    I finish and put the shirts away. Suddenly I look down at my hands and see about five big pins sticking in various parts of my hands. How did I miss them? I didn't feel any pain! I didn't notice them somehow. There is blood all over and it starts to hurt really bad. One is going straight into my thumbnail and out the other side. I am freaking out and kind of yelping. Blood is getting on the kitchen counter. It hurts REALLY bad and pulling them out hurts even worse. I can hear my mother in the shower and I don't want to yell to loud or disturb her or let her know I was stuck with pins.

10/23/01:

    I get an email from Pseu Braun telling me not to get carried away with the fact that she called me a "REAL Cyber-Celeb" and to "watch it because I'm having just a little to much of that lately OK Mmmmmmm?" The email makes me feel sad.
    Then I am on the set of a sitcom which is in it's first season. There is an office setting, with a tall ladder that reaches up to the ceiling - in which there is a hidden ledge that actors can hide in before they "jump" down into the set (they do this for some reason). Two of the cast members are Shirley McLaine (plays a secretary) and that really tan guy who's always on the old Hollywood Squares and I can't remember his name - Robert Wagner? He plays something but is hidden in the ledge the whole time. I am observing them tell jokes and it's real empty and hollow like it is when you are on the set of something being recorded. Shirley is telling Chuck (this is part of a gag in the actual script) that this is their 11th episode - the one critics always watch to see if the show has lasting power and will be a hit.
    Then I seem to be locked in this jewelry store in some weird mall. It is closed and so is the mall. I am in there and there is very little light. I am in the back room - which has a board meeting table. When I go out in the store I look at all the itty bitty spotlights (which are dimmed - it is quite dark) and they have no jewelry under them - it's all locked away. I am surprised there are no motion sensitive alarms. I get the impression that when the store is open, I "work" there to some capacity and I seem to work on some project in the back room - something involving a sculpting material that is maybe clay? And it is brightly colored? And some woman always comes into the back to check up on me and see how the project is coming? I seem to "know" this as I am in this store late at night after closing. I think now that it is some kind of art/sculpture class that I take in the back of the jewelry store and I got locked in somehow.

10/24/01:

    I wake up in the middle of the night (in the dream) and walk into my kitchen. There are candles burning in the kitchen. I think I have a fever so I decide to take some Tylenol. For some reason I think I need to take A LOT of it. The pills are those bright shiny yellow and red disc kind - I have a big bottle of them. I put six of the pills in my mouth and am filling a glass with water at the sink with the dry pills swishing around my mouth. The yellow and red candy coating on the pills starts to dissolve in my mouth and swish around. The glass is now full and I am about to swallow the pills. I am looking in the sink and thinking "Six Tylenol? What in the Hell am I doing?" I spit one of the pills out and now I have five. I put the glass up to my mouth. I think "Wait, five pills. That is still way to much. Am I insane? I am going to get acetaminophen poisoning!" So I spit another one out. I keep doing this one buy one, deciding at the last second before I swallow them to spit another one out, until I have just two in my mouth. The yellow and red coating on the pills, dissolved with my saliva, is all running in the sink amongst the spit-out pills like a Jackson Pollack painting.
    Then I dream that I am on the phone with Gregory. I am telling him I had a massage with AIDS. A guy scheduled a massage and when I went there it was the actual spectre of AIDS himself and he had scheduled an apointment with me to get a massage. I am laughing and saying "Yea! He lives on the Upper West Side! He called two days prior and when I showed up and he opened the door it was AIDS! Hahahahaha!! I had to massage AIDS for an hour! Hahahaha!! He had a really nice apartment!!!" Gregory is like "What did he look like?" and I tell him that he looked like death with a shroud and a sickle and everything. We are laughing about it a lot.

10/25/01:

Can't remember dreams.

10/26/01:

    Another Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas dream, back to the same old pattern:
    I am lost in some amazingly complex subway system. I am not sure if I am in NYC or not. I keep getting on and off trains and I keep hearing announcements over the station loudspeakers that trains are being held because of anthrax and nuclear bomb scares. There is a lot of frustration and confusion all around. I finally make it out of there.
    Then I am on some sunny street that looks like it could be New Orleans. I am going to some club happening that is going on on a Monday at 12 noon for some reason. I go into the club and my old drag friend/aquaintence who is the white guy in that Mapplethorpe photo of a black and bald man (I can't remember his name! Constance?) is working the door. He says he's doing it for the money and "boy isn't this lame?" I go inside and almost no one is there. The bright sunlight is beaming in off the street through the front windows. There is a video showing above the bar. My friend Ricardo is the bartender. I also see Kevin.
    Ricardo tells me that there is some job or something going on late that night. Some project where something has to be fixed in this warehouse downtown. He says it pays really well and would I like to come?
    Suddenly I am there. I am with Ricardo and some woman I don't know. We are standing outside of this warehouse in this barren industrial part of town (I have no idea what city I'm in). I realize that the "job" is something incredibly shady. How do I get myself involved in these situations? Ugh.
    Ricardo says for me to wait by the door while him and the woman do inside the warehouse and do "something". They go inside. I see the inside of the warehouse as they go in - it looks like a Hollywood set of the inside of a warehouse. All steam and dramatic lighting and hanging chains and stuff. I go across the street because I don't want to draw attention to where I am standing in front of (even though no one is around). Good thing - because just after I do these two cars pull up and I see these guys get out and go into the warehouse. I get this overwhelming feeling that the men are "evil" and that Ricardo and the woman definitely were not expecting them. Something is very wrong. I start to kind of panic after the men go inside the warehouse. I walk across the street and listen at the door of the warehouse. I hear the woman screaming. Just then I hear all these sirens. I run back across the street just as all these cop cars pull up and cops flood into the warehouse. I see one of the "evil" men try to run out and the cops nab him. I feel overwhelming relief that Ricardo is going to be OK. I get the hell out of there without saying anything to anybody.
    I am suddenly on a bicycle and am riding away from the scene of the crime. I am riding towards a big downtown area. I suddenly realize I am in Dallas, Texas. I, as usual in this reoccurring dream, think to myself "Hey! I'm in Dallas! I should ride my bike to Big Lake Park! Even if it's in the middle of the night it's OK!" So I decide to do so. I decide to ride all the way up to downtown and then ride down I-75 to Plano. I'm still on my bike! It's night time.
    Then for some reason I am in a car. I am still making my way to Big Lake Park when for some reason I am outside this house. It appears that it is Christmas time and my mother, father, brother and grandmother are all inside the house. We are spending Christmas together as a family in the house and it is Christmas Eve in the middle of the night. I go into the house and think "I will just go inside and see what my room is like and then leave and go see Big Lake Park. It is the middle of the night and there is no traffic." I go inside and see my grandmother. We talk for a second. I then go upstairs. I see the exact layout of the house is identical to one we had in Texas when I was a small child. Weird. I go into my "room" - the same room I used to live in. My brother is sleeping in my bed. I wake him up. He says he didn't thing I was coming so he was sleeping there. He says he will go in his room and will see me tomorrow morning when we all open out presents. He leaves. I see that in one corner of my room is all this new high tech stereo equipment (a gift?). I am looking around the room in total amazement - I cannot believe how every detail is exact about how the room looked as a child. The stop sign rug, the Snoopy aluminum trash can, the glass front-ed shelves, the bottle collection, the old desk I scrawled things onto with scissors, the orange/tan carpet, the closet with Mad magazines inside and an ice cream thing full of Legos, the window out onto the roof, poster...etc. I am taking a long time to look at everything and stuff. I take so long that suddenly I notice that the sun is starting to come up! Oh no! It's Christmas morning and everyone will be up soon! I missed my chance to sneak out and go to big lake park! Can I still make it?
    My mother then knocks on my door and wakes up my brother too. She says that some movers are here and we need to get up to help them carry some furniture up the stairs. Weird.
    Then I am back in NYC. In the dream, I am sitting in my bedroom and I am "telepathically" receiving this message from some psychic. I can also "see" an image of the Manhattan Bridge projected on my wall - like the wall has fallen away and I can see out of it. I can see the psychic. He is telling me that a terrible terrorist disaster is going to happen again in NYC. He says that I need to pay attention to two things: 10 The Manhattan Bridge and 20 this number: 191.4 - there is an intentional period between the "1" and "4". At first I think it's a date but then I realize that the period makes that impossible. Is it an anagram of a date? A number puzzle? A radio station?

10/27/01:

    I am in the parking lot of some place. It is night time. I am using the mirror in the sun visor of the passenger seat to make sure my hair looks nice. I am going through this pile of clothes in the car to find something presentable to wear. My car phone rings and I pick it up and it's my friend Shane. He says that he is "...going to be inside" and "can you come visit me at my table?" I look up and see that I am in the parking lot of, like one of those giant steakhouse restaurants in the south. You know the ones where they have like two levels and serve gigantic steaks and the waiters and waitresses wear costume-y uniforms and if you wear a tie they all come cut it off and blare sirens and have a band and there is usually a giant slide for the kids that goes from the top floor down to the stage where there is usually a live country band or something. Anyway, I am at one of those places and I am going inside soon to have dinner with my parents and some other people that I don't know. I meet my parents in the parking lot and my mother tells me my tie looks all wrong. I don't change it and we go inside. We are joined by some woman with a really fat ass. The woman looks at us as we enter the door and says "I'm gonna go ahead of you guys and find a table" She looks at us suspiciously as she says this.
    The restaurant is surprisingly empty. I am walking around the different levels of the restaurant looking at everything. Every room I walk into is an empty movie theater. I keep seeing the woman with the fat ass out of the corner of my eye. I see Shane at a table with a bunch of people. I walk by to say hi but when I get to the table the person I thought was Shane isn't. It's like we are in the place after closing time.

10/28/01:

    I am in some beautiful building in some area that I do not know. The main building material for the structure seems to be tan colored stucco. The walls and hallways and staircases and towers of the building are all organically shaped and morphing and frozen in this kind of pre mortal state. The building is designed to force you to constantly walk indoors, then outdoors, then indoors - when you are walking down one of it's many hallways. It's a wonderful building. At one point I am on the outside near the top and I am looking in the distance. There is a brilliant orange sunset (sunrise?) in the distance and I see the silhouette of the many organic shaped towers of the building stretching off into the distance. The building seems to cover the entire landscape. I am with people I do not know. We are all looking at the sunset and the wind is blowing our hair.
    Then I am in the office that is located in the building. I am there to pick up my car for my trip. I see there is a huge line of people waiting to be served by this woman behind the desk. She has a computer monitor. Everyone in the line looks at me as I enter the room. They are mostly fat women with bleached hair - weird. I also see another woman behind the desk on the far end. She has a computer and a clip board with white paper with all these things scribbled in thick black magic marker. I walk over to her and ask "Is this the line to rent cars?" She smiles and says yes. I comment on how I'm glad I'm not in the other line. All the fat blond women in the other line are watching me and smiling.
    I explain to the woman behind the desk that I'm there to pick up my car. She tells me to wait behind the desk in another area of the office and someone will "...be right with you." So I do. I'm waiting and then this guy I know Frank, who used to work at this magazine, comes and sits down behind the desk. He is like "Ahhhh! Mark... hi! OK you are here to pick up your car. OK, the way it works here is that we want you to test the model of the car before you rent it." He pulls these keys out of a drawer in his desk that have one of those floating, bobbing key chain things on them like you would use for boat keys so they float in case you drop them in the water.
    He holds the keys up in front of me and says; "Now Mark... You will be driving a 'Tyrannosaurus' (this appears to be the name of the model of car I will be renting. Now these cars are very trendy right now and you can find them all over the place! Everyone is driving one! I want you to take this key - it will open the door and ignition of any Tyrannosaurus car you can find around here. I want you to use this key to open it and then take that car for a test spin, the owner won't mind as long as they don't ever know. Be sure to take it easy and leave everything in the car the way it was when you found it. When you're done come back here and I'll give you your car."
    I find this to be totally insane, nevertheless I do it anyway. I go out into the street. It's a heavily suburban area. I know, somehow, that Tyrannosaurus's are 4x4 utility vehicles that are silver and look very stylish. I scan all aver, the streets, parking lots, in front of people's houses, looking for one that is parked and appears to be unattended. I can't believe I'm doing this!
    I find a Tyrannosaurus car and I see that it is parked in front of a house that I know no one is home in. The grass on the lawn is brown like it's winter. I kind of see this montage of me opening the door to the car and pulling away and apprehensively driving it around the neighborhood. Then suddenly I am inside the house of the person who's car I just "stole" at took for a test drive. The car is parked back outside. I decide to leave the house and as I exit the door I look really carefully through the slit in the barely open door to make sure no one will see me.
    Then I am in this weird apartment with Bryan. He is working at a table and we are kind of getting ready to go to bed - I guess we live together. We sleep in these separate chamber that have the entire floor made out of soft mattress material. They kind of look like old world Chinese architecture. All the light is amber colored. In each of our separate chambers there is a door that opens up and a new lover walks out of it every night to sleep with us. I guess Bryan and I do not have sex together. The lover door thing is kind of like "The Circuit" in Logan's Run.
    I can see Bryan's chamber and this beautiful man has come out of the door and is approaching Bryan. I look over at my door and this ugly fat man walks out of it and approaches me.

10/29/01:

    I am staying in some giant building on the south east corner of Central Park in NYC. It is nighttime. Sometimes the building seems to house separate apartments, and sometimes it seems to be my old freshman year dorm in college - which I am back in again, living there and enrolled in college. I go visit one of the other rooms in the dorm. I think my college friend Shane is living there. I had already been in my own room before, but for some reason when I try to go back and find it, I cannot find the number that matches up with the number I have on my key. The key chain is made of different layers of old masking tape with a cryptic number/letter combination written on it in Magic Marker. The handwriting on the key chain is weird too and the number/letters on all the doors make no sense either. They all keep seem to be changing. There are girls in bathrobes walking around me. I ask one of the hall monitors to help me and he doesn't seem to be able to. I never get back to my room.
    Then I am in my real apartment in NYC. I am on my sofa. There is a naked guy standing in the door of my bedroom. He doesn't seem to be aware of me. He looks like maybe he's from India or maybe even Afghanistan. He has a hard on and is standing there, raising his head and making these flicking motions with his tongue like he's eating a girl's pussy. So bizarre. I soon somehow "know" that this guy is in another part of the world, and him image is being "transferred" "out of body" into my apartment in NYC and I am able to observe what his body is doing, where ever he really is. He is unaware of me. His image is just a projection. It's like a metaphysical version of Candid Camera. I also sense that, where ever he really is at this moment, it is day time and he is outdoors. Is he really naked? Does he have clothes on in the place he really is and they just didn't come through in the transfer? I imagine myself having sex with his image. I could! Would I be able to feel his skin or would it be like a hologram? I imagine myself doing it but never try it.
    Then I seem to be back in the building on Central Park South and I am in this apartment with this man and woman I do not know. We are moving stuff around. Everything in the apartment is amazing, the furniture, the lighting, the walls, I love it - it's like something out of a magazine. We seem to be moving in or out. At one point I am in a room alone, away from the couple, and I seem to be in the dorm room that was in the beginning of the dream, holding my key in my hand. This seems to be BEFORE I went and visited Shane and then got lost and couldn't find my room again.
    Then I am visiting Gregory. He has an apartment in this building, that looks nothing like his real apartment. His apartment is amazing as well, as are others in the building. It is now day time for some reason, the sun is coming in the windows. I am complimenting him on all his amazing, futuristic furniture and white brick fireplace. I am looking at this bizarre, weirdly shaped sound/CD player thing he has on a glass table and thinking about how the aesthetics of things have changed so much in my generation and the generations that have come after me. The design of the thing doesn't really have much of a base, it almost comes to a point! It could topple over! Lots of things designed in my generation could topple over" I think to myself.
    All Gregory's stuff in his amazing apartment is great, but he has this carpet on the floor that has all these embroidered white circles with a pale yellow background. I am telling him I don't remember it and that I don't really like it and I'm sorry but I'm "...just being honest." It is then that I sense I might be in the future.
    Then I am on the upper most, top corner of the building on the south east corner of Central Park (am I at the Plaza Hotel?) My apartment is the top one on the north east corner. I have a perfect view of the park and 5th Avenue and all the stylish window displays and F. A. O Schwarz and the rooftops of the upper east side. It is night time. I am looking out the glass of my window. I see colored neon reflecting in the glass from the window displays far below. They all have a "new wave" design. My apartment is fantastic like all the others and I love all the stuff in it. I am on my phone (which is this amorphous shaped white plastic thing) and I am checking my voice mail. I have a message from this guy I massaged once that lived above Washington Square Park. He had a nice apartment, a dog, and was a psychotherapist. He is calling to ask me on a date. I kind of want to say yes but I kind of don't. I call his phone and get his answering machine. As I am listening to his outgoing message I am thinking about what I am going to say. I am kind of thinking out loud and talking into the phone. As I am talking as his outgoing message is playing, his voice starts to seem to actually respond to the things I am saying. He is actually on the other end of the phone and now we are talking. Weird. He's like "So are you gonna say yes Mark?" I am unsure what I want to do. I am looking out the window and it's deep, dark night sky and I can see just the tops of all the lit-up buildings at the bottom of the window (I am sitting on the floor). It looks totally beautiful.

10/30/01:

No dreams.

10/31/01:

    I am living in this high rise building I don't know with a lot of people I don't know in a city I'm not familiar with. I think I may be in another country - like maybe Germany or maybe even Japan I'm not sure. I have been hired by some company to be doing some job - something corporate - like consulting - and me and the other workers are living in this building for now - during some project overseas or something.
    At one point I am down in the grassy lawn of the front of the building. There is a wedding going on - it is bright and sunny. Me and all my friends are goofing around at the wedding and having fun. I think Amy Sedaris is there. She is pulling the white vail off the bride and acting all goofy with it. At some point the building turns into a sort of beach house and I seem to be discussing something about it with the owner.
    Then I seem to be in some gigantic, huge, empty mall that has been hollowed out of all of it's stores and has been converted into some kind of school. The endless, giant hallways are sparsely lit with these dramatic spotlights that are spaced apart. So when you are walking down the hall you are bathed in light, then darkness, then light, then darkness, etc. When someone is way way down at the other end of the giant hall walking towards you, you can see them as they go under each spotlight. The place is kind of dusty too. I am there with my friend Matt Bell. We seem to be taking classes together. This has something to do with the company I am working for. The way we have "class" is to lay on the tile floor of the giant, wide hallways of the empty mall and kind of look up at the ceiling. We "listen" to a voice that comes out of the high ceiling and take notes. For some reason I am sure that our teacher is that actor with the googly eyes that is in all of David Lynch's films but I can't remember his name. We have little spiral notebooks to do take notes on. I seem to go through several classes in this manner - some of which Matt is late for and some of which I am late for. What we are doing between classes I do not know. It's like a big, haunted empty school where the teacher is just a voice coming out of the ceiling. Wacky.
    Then I am back in the high-rise building and it is nighttime. We are having a meeting in my apartment. My apartment is huge. It is split level and one wall has this entire row of windows that look like car windows - kind of - but they have screens. I am trying to open some of the windows but they are stuck. I see the sun setting in the distance over the industrial landscape. I definitely think this is Japan.
    I go over to the long table on the raised part of my apartment. Me and all my coworkers are getting ready for a meeting. Our supervisor is Julia Louise-Dryfuss. We have a young girl who is a secretary, she is at her desk asking Julia if she would like to find a nice music station on "the band" (this strip of plastic that looks kind of like a transistor radio - this seems to be normal in my dream and something people are used to and refer to) for us to listen to. She says "No" and I am glad about this because I like the low office hum of the quiet-ness of the meeting. Ten she suddenly says "Hey see if you can find a weather channel on that thing! That would be nice to listen to during our meeting!" I am shocked. That sounds totally annoying! I guess the secretary doesn't find it though because it never comes on.
    At are meeting table, after we sit down, I notice are a lot of gorgeous women - like amazing supermodels or cast members from "Bay Watch" or something. They are all dressed in sexy office wear. One of them is Kate Moss.
    We are having a discussion about the importance of models in today's world. I interrupt the discussion and make this big speech that goes something like: "Models are something something about maintaining a standard of beauty. The standard of beauty is different in different cultures. Most women know they cannot look like this. Ugly fat women? The downfall of society! Beautiful thin made-up fashionable women? Greece and Rome at their highest! Even ancient Egypt! We don't want the standard of beauty to look like some fat trailer housewife with curlers in her hair! The standard of beauty could and should look like fantastic, amazing looking women like oh... Linda Evangelista or say... hmmmm... Kate Moss! (when I say this Kate at the end of the table raises her fist and is like 'yea!'). We don't want the standard of beauty to be like some white trash, trailer park mom!"
    I think I am trying to sound like Camille Paglia but I am making no sense at all. Everyone at the table is floored though and I make quite an impression despite sounding ridiculous. I feel like they all love me now. Kate Moss seems to have bonded with me. We all break from the meeting and I go quickly take a shower. We are all going out I think. I am soon sitting on the floor of my apartment, indian style. I am looking at the reflection of myself in the windows and am blow-drying my hair. My hair is suddenly very long and artificially colored blond. I am blow drying it and it is very frizzy. Kate comes over to me and says "Your hair looks really nice." Then she compliments my comments at the meeting and smiles at me.
    Then suddenly we are at the party. It is in Los Angeles. It is in this fantastic mansion and all these people are there. I am being introduced to top people in the company by some guy - I think the beach house owner from earlier in the dream. He introduces me to the googly eyed David Lynch film guy who I pretend I don't know. As I am shaking his hand he tries to put this pill in my pants pocket. I tell him I don't want it. He tells me it's "amazing" stuff and that I should try it. I see he is giving it secretly to everyone at the party and some people are paying for ir.
    Then I open this door and see three guys having sex on this bed. They are all tanned and have that LA-gay-porn-star look. One of the guys is porn star Mark Rossi. I crouch down on the floor and notice that one of the bodies isn't really human. It looks like the back of a human, all crouched over in a fetal position but then in the middle the person is all molded together - no head or hands or real arms and just the shape of legs. From far away it looks like a real person curled up, facing the floor. When you get close up you realize it is just a prop. I realize that it is put there to just make it "look" like three people are having sex when it is actually just two. I crouch down and rub one of the guy's legs as they are having sex. I keep doing it. They don't seem to notice me. Other people from the big party start streaming into the room