Archive for November, 2011

LIVE: Next PITCH! Wednesday, November 30th! Charlie Gaeta! Sam Benjamin! Kyle Kupres! Tommy Vallette! …and special guest Editors: Weston Bingham & Richard Welch, Co-Editors & Creators of! (with special guest Cole Escola) The Lounge @ Dixon Place! NYC! Hosted by Greg Walloch and Mark Allen (and new audience correspondent Karl Jones)!

The old saying “If you can remember the East Village, you weren’t there!” will be proven wrong at November 30th’s Pitch!, as we welcome esteemed writers and performers  Charlie Gaeta (sex diarist for New York magazine, contributing writer Saturday Night Live ‘Weekend Update’), Sam Benjamin (author of American Gangbang: A Love Story and Confessions of An Ivy League Pornographer), Kyle Kupres (violinist and performer Old Queen and the Sea, PussyFaggot), Tommy Vallette (actor If, LOW, playwrite Learning to Listen [or Seeing Sound]) and a special guest video pitch from artist Colby Keller! All of them going up against Weston Bingham & Richard Welch (Co-Creators and Co-Editors at, who’ll be responding to performer and audience pitches, as well as bringing their very special guest Cole Escola to “perform” some of the most questionable submissions have received over the last year. Nuts? Nuts to the power of infi-ninny!

Come for the insanity, stay for the networking! Live video! Auditions! True Confessions! Gays! Straights! Non-committals! …oh, and writers! AUDIENCE PITCHES ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED! Come get in line! Hosted by Greg Walloch and Mark Allen… and our fantastic new audience correspondent Karl Jones!

Pitch! happens at The Lounge @ Dixon Place, 161 Chrystie Street, 9:30 PM. Ticket price: $7. No drink minimum. Showtime: about 90 minutes.


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Ken Russell RIP

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Attention “Post-Everything Gays!” Pitch Something!

Do you remember when The Cock was a dump? Do you even know what that means? Ever used “irony” as a noun, or “pos-post-modernism? as a verb while describing trans facial hair? Ever owned at Keffiyeh scarf? Do you consider Fluxus, Mattachine Society, jockstraps and Electro Pop all on the same cultural playing field? Then you’ve probably lived in the East Village at some point. If you’re the kind of fag who considers font choice more important than pecs, then you should come to PITCH! (the show where people pitch things to editors in front of an audience) this Wednesday, November 30th and pitch an idea to Weston Bingham and Richard Welch of Pitch them an article idea! Or your weird artwork! Or pitch yourself (they love photographing boys in their underwear! send us photos!) or you can EMAIL A PITCH TO US, and we’ll do the schmoozing for you! Live on stage @ The Lounge @ Dixon Place, NYC!

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I can’t believe the GOP has officially classified pepper spray as a vegetable. Unbelievable! No wonder kids are so malnourished these days.

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Will this be Gingrich’s night in the sun? #GOPdebate #CNNdebate

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The projection on the Verizon building in NYC is great!

See more here.

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For those at home: and Twitter hastag #n17. Works well side-by-side.


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Eating french onion dip made I with plain yogurt instead of sour cream, along with low-salt potato chips. Using my left hand only, so I eat it slower and intake fewer calories. Washing it all down with three bottles of low-fat wine.

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My 11/9/11 GOP Debate Reactions…

(via my twitter feed last night. As usual, order is reverse-chronological)

-After those GOP debates, I can’t stomach the pro-NAMBLA riots at Penn State. I… just… can’t… #cnbcdebate

-Goodnight GOP debate nominees! “REHEARSAL’S FOR FAGS!” #cnbcdebate

-This is like one of those excruciating SNL end credit rolls where the cast greets and hugs each other on stage and everyone avoids Chevy Chase. #cnbcdebate

-Did you see Gingrich’s wife almost trip getting on stage to greet her husband? Provide a stair lift CNBC! Liberal bias! #cnbcdebate

-Bachmann hates “Chinese actors” and really hates the Beijing Opera and Ling Dynasty shadow puppetry. She gives the whole egg roll two thumbs down. #cnbcdebate

-Santorum’s face always looks like where they rip the creepy clown mask off the kid at the end of the horror movie and realize it’s him. His relaxed expression is creepy! #cnbcdebate

-Is it the contrast setting on my screen or does Romney have a fauxhawk? Huntsman better increase the Captain Beefheart name dropping! #cnbcdebate

-Gingrich’s College of the Ozark’s example made sense! I’m impres…oops, I just googled it it’s a Christian college forget it. #hailsatan #cnbcdebate

-CNBC should cue Vera Lynn’s “We’ll Meet Again” for Rick Perry’s stage exit. #cnbcdebate

-The. World. Is. About. To. Explode. RT @AnnCoulter: and I’d still take Perry over Gingrich.

-Perry should open the trap door below him, hop on the nuclear bomb, and wave his cowboy hat all the way down back to TX. Yeehaw! #cnbcdebate

-Important! CNBC Moderators: how to check for a stroke: 1. Ask them to smile. 2. Ask them to repeat a sentence. 3. Ask them to raise their arms. #cnbcdebate

-Fuuuuuuckkkk Perry…*cringe* times infinity. #cnbcdebate

-Holy shit Perry just loooost it!!!Weird!!! #cnbcdebate

-Woah…at the 9:15 mark suddenly Perry goes back to his drugged out drawl… what happened? #cnbcdebate

-They should air live video questions from OWS protestors so the audience can boo and shoot guns and burn an effigy of Elton John and just… really get it out of their system. #cnbcdebate

-Cain’s campaign in a nutshell: five women said “no thanks,” and so will the country (and Cain won’t remember any of it). #cnbcdebate

-I’ll bet Gingrich remembers when rainbows were only black and white. #cnbcdebate

-When he stands next to Gingrich, Ron Paul almost looks like Macaulay Culkin. #cnbcdebate

-When these candidates speak, the auditorium becomes the movie A FACE IN THE CROWD. When Gingrich speaks, it becomes COCOON. #cnbcdebate

-Seeing Gingrich talking about cutting edge technology like an iron lung makes him seem so young! #cnbcdebate

-Most rest homes have put their residents to sleep by this hour, so they won’t get to see Gingrich lazily blaming liberal media… oh look there he did it AGAIN! #cnbcdebate

-Herman Cain should collaborate with Junior Vasquez on a bitch track called “Werque Princess Nancy!” #extravaganza #cnbcdebate

-Gingrich’s tired shtick of sneering at the media EVERY QUESTION again and again is gonna fly big with young voters (that’s 75 and under for him). #cnbcdebate

-Ohhh…mmm… now Bachmann’s talking about Melty Milkshakes! Oh, no… it’s “housing meltdown.” Damn. #cnbcdebate

-Perry’s actually seems alive in this debate! Plus, his wig actually looks kinda sexy tonight. #cnbcdebate

-Romney: “What we know won’t work is what this President has done.” A perfect GOP slogan for 2012! Catchy, meaningless…induces drooling. #cnbcdebate

-And that sounds like a lot of this audience! #cnbcdebate

-GOP talking points like “only 53% pay taxes” are like a left-wing hacks saying “World peace now!”…slogans drained of any meaning, only good for mass applause from the biggest doofuses in the audience. #cnbcdebate

-Huntsman mentions Captain Beefheart, Gingrich name-drops Saul Alinsky! These people are intellectual snobs! Is this a GOP debate or a WFMU broadcast? #cnbcdebate

-I have more respect for Huntsman as a hipster jerk since he talked about his favorite Captain Beefheart LP! See: #cnbcdebate


-Gingrich’s attempt to get past his image as a old gas bag who scowls at the media isn’t going…oh, that wasn’t his plan? #cnbcdebate

-Why is that bald moderator shouting like an infommercial TV salesman? Is that his schtick or something? #cnbcdebate

-Cain’s sex scandal is like Brett Ratner’s “fag” scandal: both are tedious hype that distracts from fact they’re overrated hacks to begin with. #cnbcdebate

-Re: Cain. Court of public opinion is democracy. Remember Clinton? #cnbcdebate

-Not to compare the current GOP’s emotional and intellectual development to that of pre-pubescent teenage girls. #cnbcdebate

-Any condescending mention of media bias gets a Beatles-at-Ed-Sullivan-Theater response from this crowd of screamers. #cnbcdebate

-Booing questions! Unless we like the questions! Yay! Otherwise it’s an agenda! The round yellow peg goes in the round hole! #foodpellet #cnbcdebate

-Santorum actually looks more like actress Tracy Nelson playing Jerry Seinfeld’s female double, from that episode. #cnbcdebate

-WOW! Santorum REALLY looks like Jerry Seinfeld tonight! #cnbcdebate

-…and here we go with the fence. #cnbcdebate

-Ohhh… Gingrich name-dropped Saul Alinsky! #cnbcdebate

-…more than usual. #cnbcdebate

-Since I missed the intro I feel lost! #cnbcdebate

-GOP CNBC 11/9/11 Debate: “REHEARSAL’S FOR FAGS!” #cnbcdebate

-Can someone help me find the goddamn live stream of the cnbc GOP debate? Ferchrizzakes! #cnbcdebate

-Yay! The GOP debate is tonite! Can’t wait to shoot spitballs at them from inside my sofa cushion fort (i.e., twitter at them from my laptop) #cnbcdebate

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After that, Rick Perry should have just opened the trap door beneath the debate stage, hopped on the nuclear bomb, and waved his cowboy hat all the way back down to Texas (to the strains of Vera Lynn’s ‘We’ll Meet Again.’) Yeehaw? #GOPdebate #cnbcdebate

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If the GOP wants random drug tests conducted at OWS protests, then they have to also conduct random I.Q. tests at Tea Party rallies. Fair is fair! 

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Is the next GOP television debate on tonight? I need to practice my laughter yoga.

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“I AM BIG! It’s the g-strings that got small…”

Daniel Nardicio Interviews Mark AllenThe charming Daniel Nardicio asks me all kinds of questions about my past.










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