Archive for March, 2012

Sometimes I get drunk and crank-call Gore Vidal in Esperanto.


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Media stories in reverse…

KONY 2012: A drug-crazed nude father makes a film about a popular Ugandan war criminal, everyone loses interest, he sobers up & moves on to dance videos. #mediastoriesinreverse

Lindsay Lohan: A zombie rises from the morgue and uses the US legal system to magically transform into a young, fun-loving gal who goes to Disneyland. #mediastoriesinreverse

2012 GOP: A rich Mormon slowly increases his ranks, then they all have a Colonial-themed costume party and banish their Queen to Alaska. #mediastoriesinreverse

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The collective hope of MegaMillions losing ticket holders is regurgitated back into the universe as “pink slime.”


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I heard several times during the 90’s and 00’s, from different sources, that it costs way more to man the booths and machines, charge and run the whole fare system of the New York City subways than it makes from it… and that having the subways be free of charge would put the MTA at a financial advantage. Was/is this true, or is it a crypto-urban legend spouted by ex-anarchist squatters running for city Mayor on the independent ticket?

…it came up again because this happened today. Actually, I think free subways would turn the trains and stations into Warriros-like Hell-holes. So, that’s a plus.

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Anyone else notice Jon Stewart turns orange-ish for a few days every month? I’ll begin taking screen shots of THE DAILY SHOW to document this weird phenomenon.


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10… 9… 8… counting down till the first wave of fake Tim Tebow Grindr ads surface on NYC gay blogs.


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What next, ads for Grindr? Madonna’s MDNA advertised on Drudge Report 3/28/03

Elton John may hate Madonna, but Matt Drudge doesn’t!

(screen capture 3/28/03 11:30 AM)

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On the MDNA cover doesn’t it look like a starving Madonna has her face pressed against the window of a 1950’s-themed diner, staring longingly down at someone’s cheese fries?


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If Romney is an Etch-a-Sketch… then Santorum is a flammable, out-dated Halloween costume made of asbestos.


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When alone at parties, I’m always paranoid I’ll strike up a conversation with a flash-mobber just as they’re counting the seconds to their cue.


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“You got your Merzbow in my Stan Brakhage!” “You got your Stan Brakhage in my Merzbow!!”


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Catskill, NY, 3/20/12.

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Vomiting drag queens are really hot right now.


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While #BitTorenting a #leaked #Madonna #MDNA #Mediafire #hyperlink off #Twitter on my #iPhone #4Gs in a #WalMart parking lot after buying #carb-free #baconnaise, a #NissanCube full of #tweens drove by and yelled “faggot!”


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Republican drama queens wail about one obscure sentence in the Bible and scream that gay marriage leads to sex with dogs… yet when it comes to women’s basketball coaches their willing suspension of disbelief stretches a mile.


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I like how Jason Russell dealt with “cracking under the pressure of making a viral video that became too popular” …by making another one that’s even more popular (in an altogether different way). Can’t wait for the third!


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Why does no one ever use the winking frowny face emoticon? It says so much! ;(


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Would people be mad if I took wheelchair martial arts lessons without being handicapped? Can I just buy a wheelchair? I think it would be such a kick-ass skill.


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Did everyone see the Obama/Bell video? I’m beginning to think Andrew Breitbart died from embarrassment.


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Using birth control may make you a slut in a few people’s eyes, and apologizing to appease your sponsors may make you a bigger slut in a few other’s… but allowing an outmoded radio pundit to again lure you into a ratings-boosting controversy by complaining about him definitely makes you the dumbest whore of all time.


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Davy… Andrew… will Lindsay become the inevitable “number three” tonight? On live television? #ratings #SNL


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Eat up America!

Sign on the front door of upstate New York roadside convenience store Stewart’s
(the sign is referring to the store’s brand of ice cream), March 3rd, 2012.

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