MarkAllenCam's Disability Interviews
Disability: too skinny
Having lived at the center of the black hole of irrelevance that is often the gay "scene" in NYC... I can tell you first hand that the worship of chiseled muscle bodies and faces was in full effect amongst the dimmer set of the community (about two thirds) during the 1990's. Does the worship of the body still rule, and the acceptance of the true self still drool, in the gay scene in New York? Well... it's gotten a lot more complex, or maybe I'm just getting old. Nevertheless much like hippies and punks ...that particular bloby subculture still exists, despite the rest of the gay world having moved on.
So it was with great pleasure that I first looked at Victor's online gay personal ad on BigMuscle.com. It was sent to me by a friend who is often sending me "interesting" gay ads filled with "freaks." I saw Victor's unusually skinny frame, I smiled and chuckled. I passed it on to someone else.
But, something kept making me want to revisit Victor's ad again and again. Something about the look on his face, and the fact that he was so slim, and I mean really, really slim,compared to the thousands of other ads of muscle-y and want-to-be-muscle-y guys on the sites. And the fact that he didn't care... seemed to single-handedly hammer the last nail in the coffin of some dumb, tired tradition... what exactly I don't know... but whatever it's effect was, it was positive. I kept looking back again and again... I don't know why exactly I found it so inspirational. I soon discovered that Victor had other ads on other sites. You can look at them here and here. I think it was his seeming confidence and lack of any pretense. Victor states in his ad; "People Think I Look Ugly But I Don't Care What They Think Or Say About Me I Think I'M An AlRight Kind Of Person. Thank You For Stoping Bye." He even shows off parts of his body (biceps) in close-up and shows himself working out on his home gym. Is Victor a "freak?" No. Victor is a genius. Suddenly all the other ads on BigMuscle looked like they weren't even there.
You know that often misunderstood old saying "You can wear anything and as long as you wear it with confidence you'll look like a million bucks?" Well here it is in all it's simple and unconquerable glory.
Victor has taken the one thing that most people wouldn't DARE show on sites like BigMuscle.com and just does.
So for all you gay guys who think you're too skinny or too fat or too ugly or too short or too bald... and think others treat you poorly because of this and say things like "...oh I don't go into gyms because the guys there have too much attitude and are rude to people like me..." or even worse; "I think it's unfortunate that the gay community places so much emphasis on appearance" (like I just did above) ...well a big whopping BULLSHIT has been called on you (and me?) and your popped-balloon LIE. Read it and weep: Victor is now KING of the mountain and you guys are sitting on the sidelines (still).
Am I reading too much into this? Probably... but that's just because Victor is my new hero. So with Victor being my #1 new HERO OF ALL TIME. I decided I need to know MORE! MORE!!! I contacted him for an inside scoop. It took a little persistence... but I eventually got a hold of him and found him to be friendly, open and... as I expected... lacking in any sort of pretense or defeatist attitude whatsoever:
Me: Were you always this slim? Even as a child?
Victor: Yes Why?
Me: Well, I mean, is your skinniness natural, were you born that way? Or was there a certain medical condition that made you so slim? Are others in your family that slim?
Victor: I Had Some Wieght On Me When I Was A Baby When I Got Older I Loss It All.
Me: Do you feel a bond with other skinny people?
Victor: Yes & No, I Stick To My Self.
Me: Do you consider yourself confident?
Victor: Yes I Do.
Me: Do you consider yourself an exhibitionist?
Victor: Yes I Do.
Me: Even though you have an extremely slim body, why did you place yourself on a web site with a bunch of muscle guys?
Victor: Because I Wont To Get Bigger Muscle.
Me: Do you think your particular body type within the gay community, garners you special attention?
Victor: No Because People Think I Look Ugly To Thim.
Me: Do you ever go into public gyms?
Victor: No I Have My Own Gyms.
Me: Why do you smile so big? You seem really content. Do you consider yourself happy?
Victor: Yes And No.
Me: What does the phrase "If you've got it, flaunt it!" mean to you?
Victor: I Don't Know. *
*the perfect answer!
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