scroll to the very bottom of this page
to learn the final, awful fate of The Horrible Jar
If you are new to "The Jar" and are confused by all of this, CLICK HERE to see our original Jar teaser page from months ago - which explains the whole concept.
HERE to see some of the viewer suggestions for The Jar that we
IN THE BEGINNING (NYC, Spring, 2000 A.D.)...
Domenic and I first got the idea for the The Jar experiment from Vice magazine, a great magazine that shines a spotlight on the rusty, outer edges of the NYC (and world-wide) cultural spectrum. In one of their issues, we saw a hysterical "gross jar" experiment (issue 8, Vol 6, pg. 31 to be exact), where they threw beer, vomit, dog doo, yogurt, a chicken leg and cigarettes into a jar, sealed it, and then promised their readers a month-by-month update on how the ingredients were interacting.
"Hahahaha!! How great is that!?" we thought.
We anxiously awaited the next issue. "What will happen?" we collectively
pondered. When the next issue of Vice came out, we anxiously leafed through
it's pages - flustered with anticipation. There was no mention of it.
Where was it?
What had happened?
Did they forget about it?
Rather than write the magazine complaining, we struck on the bright idea to do a jar experiment ourselves - on cam! "Ours will be better!" we said. Grosser, more offensive and unbelievable than theirs. And we will follow it through... to the end!
We tried to come up with the most vile
Ten times as repulsive as Vice magazine's!
Unfortunately, we would soon discover the
forbidden, awful secret that The Jar experiment would unleash. We would
soon discover why Vice magazine had abandoned The Jar experiment
and never spoke of it again. We would soon discover the horrible, horrible
*HERE WERE THE FINAL INGREDIENTS WE DECIDED ON:
- 1 dead rat (fresh from the sunny streets of downtown Manhattan!)
- 16 oz of water from the East River (collected at South Street Seaport)
- 10 live goldfish
- 1 raw pork chop
- "Hot Souse" (this is a Southern specialty which is a mixture of boiled pig snouts, ears and spices which is pickled and then served in brick form - mmmm, slice it up!)
- 1 giant salmon fish head
- "La Yogurt" brand yogurt (strawberry/banana flavor)
- "America's Treat" brand instant "Jell-O" dessert powder (lime flavor)
- 1 small serving Chinese food (pork w/oyster sauce)
- Durian fruit
June 4th, 2000:
The day of The Jar sealing
- we had both become obsessed with out-doing each other with gross ingredients.
"I'm gonna find a dead rat!" Domenic would boast.
"Lie! You never do what you say you're gonna do!" I would retort, adding "I'm gonna use my own shit!!!"
"Oh no you're not!" he would shoot back.
"You don't think so!?" I would boast.
And so on and so forth. What ended up happening was that, blinded by our own twisted egos, we got so carried away trying to one-up one another that we ended up with ingredients that were more evil than gross. The day of the sealing, Domenic ran around town on his own gathering his own ingredients, while my friend Michael and I hopped on our bikes and rode around lower Manhattan trying to think of the sickest things we could buy (or scavenge).
Mixed with the steamy NYC summer swelter, and the rush to make the scheduled 7pm live-on-cam sealing time, we found ourselves lost in a kind of find-the-grossest-thing-you-can dementia FRENZY! All logic (and concern for our own health) went out the window as I hopped over the South Street Seaport barricade (which made tourist's cameras flash like mad) to wade in the East River (ugh...) and Domenic picked up a huge day-old dead rat (while laughing demonically) in front of a bunch of horrified onlookers on Avenue C. Ahhh... the things you see when you visit the Big Apple!
Domenic originally went to a bait store to get maggots. When they didn't have that, his next choice was: LIVE GOLDFISH (as it turns out, we would end up getting maggots as a kind of "bonus prize" a few hours after the jar was sealed)!
I originally went to get the notoriously noxious-smelling Durian fruit from Chinatown. But along the way Michael and I made a pit stop at a seedy, flies-a-buzzing butcher shop and picked up a giant salmon head and a few other impulse items: "Out of pigs feet?!?!? Whaddya mean?!?! Well just gimmie the head cheese made out of pig snouts and ears. No... no! Not that one! Not plain... I want SPICY flavor!!!"
As Michael and I busted in the door of my apartment (late: it was now 7:20pm) carrying plastic grocery sacks full of dread-inducing items, we boasted to Domenic "Wait'll ya see what WE got!!!"
"Oh really Mr. Allen?" Domenic calmly replied; "Nothing can beat what I found on Avenue C on the way over here."
His hand pointed to the fire escape. Michael and I hesitantly crept over to the window, I slowly made out the outline of, yes indeed, a giant, putrid DEAD RAT inside a yellow shopping bag hanging from the fire escape, which we could already smell.
Hey... it's a party!
We blasted a CD of Delibes' "Lakme" opera on the stereo, suppressed our gag reflexes (this was easy for Domenic), laid all the items in front of the cam and strapped on rubber gloves.
Let the experiment begin:
setting up the ingredients...
at first I had reservations about it...
but I got over it
"By the pricking of my thumb...
...something wicked this way comes."
Wo-Hop's #17 Pork With Oyster Sauce (small order)
here's where I was explaining to Michael how to save the images
(thanks for your help Michael!)
the gloves were Michael's idea
#1: Dead Rat - the smell is traumatizing...
#2: East River Water - in a Poland Spring bottle!
pouring it in
#3: Live Goldfish - wait no!!! Oda doth protest (so does everybody)
I decided to give them a proper burial at sea...
#4: Raw Pork Chop
#5: Pork Snouts 'n Ears! - mmmmm...
having trouble opening the package
breaks apart like freshly baked bread - and the aroma!
#6: Fish Head - think of that song...
I tried to do a little puppet show...
and from the back
#7: Strawberry and Banana Yogurt - one of the few non-traumatizing ingredients
just like a commercial - mmmm
#8: Unheard-of Brand of Lime Jell-O - raw!
pouring it in
#9: Pork With Oyster Sauce
#10: I begin to try to open the Durian Fruit
a close-up of how things are doing in The Jar while Mark bangs
the Durian fruit on the floor
my Popeye impersonation... the stench is unreal...
posing for a picture amidst the wafting aromas of the Durian... ahhh!
the inside of a Durian looks like scrambled eggs and smells like rotten brains
ready to seal
3... 2... 1!
mmm... how is it doing?
The rat's face squashed amongst Jell-O
40 minutes later
46 minutes later
50 minutes later
2 hours and 10 minutes later: maggots appear in The Jar
Was that it for now?
to find out what happened next.
...if you dare!!!