9/1/00:

No dreams last night, only slept a few hours.
    Oh wait. I now remember, as I'm typing this, weird recollections of my landlord's assistant Kathy calling me and while she was calling me I was seeing extreme close-ups of her face while she was talking to me on the phone (even though I have no idea what she looks like).

9/2/00:

I spent the night at Matt's last night and I had a long involved dream, too much to document. But I did have this one part that was very funny/gross. I told him about the dream in the morning and he'll probably kill me for putting it here but, here it is:
    I wake up in his bedroom, it's all dark and the air conditioner is on. I feel that he isn't in the bed and then I get up to go to the bathroom. I walk into his bathroom and it's laid out a little differently. It's kind of big and the toilet is on the left and the sink is on the right. I suddenly see that the light is already on and Matt is sitting on the toilet and is naked. He stands up like "ohhh!" and I'm like "Oops...sorry!" and he says "Oh that's fine". He stands up and he has his crotch squashed behind him and his legs clamped shut so it looks like he has a pussy (like that guy in Silence Of the Lambs did in front of the mirror to make himself look like a woman). As he's standing up I glance down in the toilet bowl and it's full of shit and lots of toilet paper. I turn around to wash my hands.

9/3/00:

    I am working in some abandoned meeting room at the United Nations building in New York. The room I'm working in is like a large concert hall, well lit with lots of space and tiered seats in a sea shell design layout. The room is covered, walls, floor, ceiling and all, in this orange-browninsh industrial carpet. There are some places where the carpet needs repairing and I'm in charge of this and in keeping the room looking nice for the next time it is used. I am the only one in the room ever during the whole dream. At one point I go outside the room and see a large hall with lots of desks and people walking around, like the large lobby of the UN or something. It looks nothing like the UN building I know. I see a young black woman with dreadlocks run into the room after I have left it. She seems to be on the next shift for repairing the carpet or something.
    I go outside the UN and there is a long train that seems to be permanently parked in the "parking lot" of the UN. This lot is actually a big field with dirt and dying grass. There are people and lots of activity everywhere. Little shops and food booths are set up around.
    In the crowded lot I find two twin beds in the grass. Around the beds I find all these dirty clothes and shoes and magazines. I realize that this is where I sleep and this is my bedroom, in this mob of people. I change out of my Teva sandals into shoes and leave the sandals there. I slip off to go shopping at some store.
    At one point I cross over this fence by levitating over it. I leave my clothes on one side of the fence and put on an identical pair of clothes once I'm on the other side. As I'm crossing over the fence, I see some girl who is sitting with some other people indian style in the grass. She looks up at me and says "If you leave your clothes like that no one will know you crossed over the fence."
    While on the other side, I visit this huge store that sells electronic and computer equipment and CDs and DVDs and magazines and stuff. I am looking around for something but I don't know what. I suddenly realize I have no money. I look at one of the sales guys and he has a beard and looks really mean - he has clown/Kiss-esque make up on (I now realize that this is a face I saw on a T-shirt a man was wearing on the New Jersey Path train yesterday - I think it was for a heavy metal band called Undertaker). I leave the store.
    It is now night time and I am running through this industrial area where the little warehouses have been converted to living spaces. They are lit inside. Now that I think about it looked a like a city in China. I am running to meet David Cunningham of The Flying Lizards. I am holding a 7" Flying Lizards record in my hand and want to ask him a question about it. I find his house and I go in and he is working at a desk. I go up to him and say "Hi David, I'm Mark Allen, I created that Flying Lizards website and have some more questions for you about The Flying Lizards." He doesn't say anything and just looks me up and down. He seems annoyed that I'm there. Then we start having sex(!) We are behind this sheet in his house and it's kind of awkward and we are just fumbling around. After we are done we talk for a while and he says we should see each other again and he is happy to answer any questions for me. I feel really strange and leave.
    I go back to the UN building and look at the carpet in the room I was in charge of. It still needs a lot of work and I'm not looking forward to doing it and I just go outside to the field with the train and people and my bed. I go to my bed and change back into my Teva sandals. Suddenly I see the rich people I work for (they have been in some of my other dreams). The man asks if he can try on my sandals. I say "Sure!" and he puts them on. I say "You need a bigger size, your feet are too big for those". It's really weird - his bare feet are swollen to the size of like cantaloupes or something. Huge, like balloons or something. But he is able to fit his feet inside the sandals.
    Then I'm in some room and I am tied up or maybe I'm paralyzed, I don't know. There is a tall, red, metal machine with all these card slots in it - like the size of the slot you put a floppy disk in. These slots have tiny numbers embossed on them. It also has all these wires hanging off it that have little rings on the end. There are two people in the room and they tell me that if these rings are pulled and the slots are filled in the right order that the machine will play a "song" and that this "song" will assure me that everything in my life will go OK from that point on. I don't seem concerned.

9/4/00:

    I didn't sleep at all last night. I'm going on NO SLEEP here and so I had no dreams.

9/5/00:

    I ONCE AGAIN dreamed about my house near Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas. Except this time I'm describing it to someone and really hamming it up, not going on my way to visit it.
    In the dream I was sitting in a huge patio/greenhouse thing with Adam Horowitz of the Beastie Boys. The room was very large and had maroon colored tile and glass tables and big plants everywhere. It looked like it might have once been a large patio that was converted into a closed room. Three of the four walls consisted of French doors all lined next to each other, so you could see right outside. The fourth wall (behind us) opened into the house, which I knew was huge even though I didn't see it. It's nighttime and it is raining really hard outside.
    Adam and I are each sitting in these weird chairs that are kind of like hammocks but everything just hangs from one point rather than two, like you're sitting in a little net that's hanging from a pole. I'm talking to Adam but I'm looking at his face and he looks nothing like Adam Horowitz, but somehow I know it's him. We are talking about places we used to live in. I remember he was biting his nails as he was talking.
    At one point I say to him "...and the living room of our house used to have yellow walls and light blue carpet and when the sun shined through the windows it was so beautiful!" I'm saying this I look up at the ceiling and I start crying(!). As I'm looking up at the ceiling and crying and saying this I see a little picture of the living room I'm describing. Also I'm thinking "Don't loose your cool Mark, you are sitting next to Adam Horowitz" but then I think something like "Oh he would actually think it's cool that I cried!" so I pull the same exact same stunt again but this time I say "...and we had such a beautiful y-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-d!!!".
    I look over at him with tears in my eyes and behind him, outside the French doors, I see a fake film background of a tropical sunset. The film is all old and scratchy. It's like it's projecting on a wall outside the French doors and it's all a stage set or something.

9/6/00:

Wow, I slept A LOT last night. Funny though I only remember snippets of images from my dreams this morning:
    My friend Gregory showing me something on his webpage but what he was showing me was "detached" from the web and was for real, inside his apartment, and was just glued to the front of his computer screen. He was pointing to it going "See this is what I changed about my page Mark!"
    Kim Gordon, Thurston Moore and their daughter Coco running around an airport frantically.
    Michael Wakefield and I sitting in his apartment working on a script, with the sun shining in really brightly.
    That's it...
 

9/7/00:

Whoa...I don't know if it was Dan E. asking me about the coffee shop guy I used to have a crush on or what but I had this intense dream about him last night:
    I'm standing on this golf course in a flat, suburban area. I think it's morning, or it may be dusk - I'm not sure. I am building a jungle gym kid's playground thing. The jungle gym is made of all these bright green and pink plastic tubes. There are these strings hanging off the tubes that when pulled, allow the kids to shrink down temporarily and run through the tubes (which are about six inches in diameter). At one point there is this old janitor-looking man standing next to me and he is pointing to a place in the tube connection where the strings are missing. I am saying "...the kids will grow big if they walk through this part. I need more strings for this section." Getting more strings seems like a lot of trouble and I don't wanna do it. The janitor shrugs and says "Don't worry about it, just make that part of the tube bigger!" I think that this man must know what he's doing and I feel re-assured somehow when he says this.
    Then I look down and see that part of the tubing (which is now green and pink swirled) leads straight into the ground. I can tell where the tube touches and disappears into the ground it is "hot" and it really scares me because I think this part of the tube leads to Hell. It gives me this evil vibe. I look around for the old janitor guy and he is nowhere to be seen. I feel like he could have explained this passage to Hell to me but now he's gone. I keep looking down at where the tube goes into the ground and now I see it has all these pink strings jutting out of the ground around it. The pink strings have little plastic pink rings on the ends of them, like for your fingers to fit through. I get the feeling that if you grab enough of the pink rings and pull, the plastic tube will come out of the ground and the passage to Hell will be cut off.
    I have this brief "flash" where I see myself walking down this spiral staircase that is made of stone and is totally enclosed (like in a castle). As I'm walking down the stairs the temperature is getting hotter and I see red light emanating from below and I realize I'm walking down into Hell. and it really scares me.
    Then I'm back in the suburban golf course/park. I am still working on the playground but now the passage to Hell tube seems to have less significance. I see a figure walking down a white concrete paved walkway (identical to the ones they have at Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas - wink wink nudge nudge). As the figure gets closer I realize it's the guy I used top have a crush on from the coffee shop in my neighborhood. He walks up to me and asks what I'm doing. He seems really friendly and genuinely interested in what I'm doing and who I am. I say, and this is weird, I say to him; "My name is Mark, I see you in the hall sometimes." (like at high school or something) and he says nothing and is just smiling at me and it's getting cloudy but the weather is really nice and it's daytime now and the subtle wind is blowing his spiky hair and I'm looking at him and thinking "Wow he's so good looking and nice - I think I am falling in love instantly and I could spend the rest of my life with him." Then I realize that I'm thinking of that song by The Bangles, "Manic Monday" where Susanna Hoffs says "...I was kissing Valentino by crystal blue Italian stream..." and I'm comparing it to my situation. I'm cracking up inside and I feel really happy, like that really good feeling you get when you've been stressed out about something and something surprising happens to you and you realize everything's gonna be all right.
    He looks around at the playground and is pointing at the passage thing that I thought lead into Hell. He walks over and just yanks it out of the ground. It's covered with dirt and he pulls it over to where I am (this causes the playground to jiggle) and says. This would be great for making music. He starts blowing into it and it doesn't make a sound and I am laughing. While he's making these non-music sound blowing sounds I start singing lyrics like "Worship Satan! Worship Satan! Lick the maggots from his cloven hoof! Oh Satan! Yea yea Satan!" and this makes him laugh really hard and I feel really happy. He says "We should make music using only playground tubes and air, and then put total cliché satanic heavy metal lyrics to it - and market it to teenagers!" I tell him this is funny because I thought the tube he was blowing into lead to Hell. He's like "Huh?" and we walk over to the hole in the ground where the tube was and it's just a hole and you can tell there is no Hell there, or no Hell at all really. We're looking down at the hole and we get really quiet. It's overcast in the park but really, really nice and I think I hear ducks in the background. The breeze is kind of blowing. I feel really happy, like I haven't for a long time. He has his arm around me.

9/8/00 - 9/10/00:

My weekend was so busy and traumatic and fun that I got no sleep and had no dreams (that I can remember).

9/11/00:

    I'm in some gigantic, Roman style coliseum. Everything is really grand, with huge columns, sweeping flying buttresses and huge arena seating. Everything is blinding white. There is some kind of performance going on and I am in charge of taking pictures of it. Different celebrities are coming out of this little door on the stage at the center of the arena (this seems to be the show). It looks like when celebrities arrive at the Grammys or something, the way the press photographs them on the red carpet, and it's my job to photograph them. The celebrities come out two at a time, usually as a male/female couple.
    I seem to be the only paparazzi photographer there and I'm running around like crazy trying to get good angles and everything. Finally I decide to run up and stand right beside the door where they come out so I can get a good close up. When I do, the first two celebrities to walk out are my friend Michael Wakefield arm-in-arm with Jamie from Big Brother. As soon as they exit the door, Michael looks past me and waves to the audience behind me. I see one of his front teeth has a huge chip in it (just like his sometimes co-host on his cable access show It's a Wonderful Life: Amber). He smiles like it's nothing and keeps waving. I snap pictures of the two of them as they walk by me. I look up and see that there is absolutely no one in the arena except for me, Michael and Jamie. There's no audience or anything, just the three of us.

9/12/00:

    I'm working in some rusty old warehouse, or I live there or go to school there. I want to sneak into locked rooms of the warehouse to get at these record albums I saw in there when I was snooping around. My whole motivation becomes to get around our instructor (a guy who looks like a janitor) and break the locks of the doors and crawl around in the forbidden rooms, which I seem to know the layout of. I'm constantly jockey-ing myself into a position to sneak past the janitor-looking guy but it's taking a long time.
    I'm in some room with Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon. It's a rectangular room with lots of French doors and it is raining outside (and is nighttime). They are getting ready for bed. I look over at the couch and see their daughter Coco. I see Coco has "blocks" of her hair bleached white, liked she just slapped the peroxide on whole parts of her head and didn't mix it around. The rest of her hair seems dyed black. I look over and see Kim has this same thing. I wonder "Is Coco too young to be dying her hair?"
    As Kim and Thurston are crawling into bed I say "Oh Kim I love SYR5, I listen to it constantly! I even sing parts of it to myself as I walk around!" Then I do an imitation of one her singing one of the lines from the CD and I sound really awkward and ridiculous. They say nothing. I think this is strangely embarrassing because Kim's singing style is kind of "intentionally bad" or something and my singing was a bad interpretation of a singing style that is an exploration of what makes good singing different that bad in the first place. I'm really embarrassed and I leave.
    Then I was at this party but I can't seem to remember anything from it. I do remember that I saw this weird image of one of those little inflatable figures that you squeeze and the eyes, ears and mouth "pop" out. You know those things? They were from the 80's I think and they kind of looked like bowling pins and were inflatable. They had bald heads and kind of looked like aliens, they had little knobs for eyes and ears and mouth and they popped out when you squeezed the body and the head expanded. Anyway, I see one of those but it is shaped like a light bulb instead of a bowling pin, with the body being the skinny part. The head is very large and the face is totally real looking! It has a real face instead of the knobs. It looks creepy.
    I see this figure at night and it's on a mound of dirt. I see something cause the mound of dirt to shift and this caused the little figure to fall of the mound of dirt and onto the ground. When it does I head this little mechanical sound like a toy would make like "mommy" or "mooo" or something.
    OK so I'm at this party that I can't remember and I'm trying to leave. I'm gathering all my friends together and we are all going to ride home on this itty bitty motorbike. I am loading all our stuff onto this bike, hanging off of it in little bags and stuff. I realize that I have to take a dump pretty seriously. I don't wanna do it in the party because the bathroom is all crowded and people are hanging out in there but I can't wait to get home. So I decide to go down to my friend Gregory's house (who I saw just leave the party). Gregory lives right down the street.
    I go down the street and it's all sunny and there are lots of people around. I get to his house and ring the doorbell and he answers. I explain to him that I want to use his bathroom and he's like "Sure." and I run upstairs. Somehow I know that Greg is going to play a joke on me and run in and take a picture of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. So I decide to pretend I'm on the toilet and hide and when he runs in to take a picture I'll jump out and scare him. I put the lid of the toilet down really loudly and I turn all the lights and fans on and look for a place to hide (I don't seem to have to go anymore, oddly enough). As I'm doing all this I realize that this bathroom is the exact bathroom that was upstairs at our house at Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas (surprise!). I see that things have been added on it and maybe the walls have been painted a different color but it is the same bathroom. I hide in an area where there are drawers, right behind one of the entry doors. The drawers kind of turn into a shower, with a shower curtain which I am hiding behind. I see that now there are a lot of people in the shower with me and we are going to all freak out Greg.
    Gregory eventually walks in when I'm not looking and he has a camera in his hand. Me and all the people in the drawers/shower thing sprat Silly String and shaving cream at him and are like "Yaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!" and he jumps back laughing. Then I look where the original shower was and there is this nude male model standing there and there is fog and lights and it's really cheesy looking. I somehow think they are making a soft core porno movie.
    Then I think I am at a party, and I am looking at this movie screen or maybe a TV screen and I saw two unknown actors in a car talking about something. Someone out of my view was explaining to me that this was a film that was a take-off of "Weekend At Bernie's" - you know the movie about the two guys who watch a rich man's house for him and he dies somehow and they have to convince everyone that his corpse is still living for some reason. Anyway, this film involves these two guys but instead of a rich old guy dying it's a beautiful young girl who's corpse they have to convince everyone is still alive - and comic hilarity ensues. But this person is telling me that the film sucks and the actors are terrible.
    In the film there is a scene where the two guys have to sleep in their car on the side of the road at night. They don't want to store the girl's body in the car in case the cops stop to check what they are doing on the side of the road. So they find this weird concrete slide thing on this hill on the side of the road behind some trees. It looks like a water slide but it's made of concrete and it has clumps of dirt and plants growing through parts of it - like it's been abandoned.  They put her body on the concrete slide and go to sleep in the car.
    As they are sleeping, the body shifts on the slide a little bit and causes some of the dirt clumps to tumble down the slide. I see next to the dead girl's body is one of those plastic light bulb shaped things with a human face from earlier in the dream. The toy thing. When the girl's body shifts it causes this plastic toy thing to fall off the slide and onto the ground. When it does it makes this sound like "Mooooooo!" like those toy things you turn upside and they make a cow sign. I see other identical plastic toy things, but the "neck" part of them has expanded outward like fingernails when they get several feet long, or those "black snake" firecracker things that when you lit them they expanded out like swirling snakes.
    It turns out that these plastic toys are placed all over the concrete slide, and the slide is actually a little measuring thing that measures how many dirt clumps work their way down the hill. As the dirt clumps fall down the slide periodically, it causes the plastic toy things to move and go "Moooooo!" and these act as little alarms to whoever is listening to let them know that dirt is working it's way down. This alarm causes the guys in the car to wake up and freak out because they're like "Oh no! Someone's gonna hear!"

9/13/00:

    The whole first half of the dream happened in this weird muted white color. And all the shapes of the things in the dream seemed to be "stretching" or expanding in places to fit into some invisible grid. Like someone's face would have a line running horizontally or vertically through it that kind of "squished" or stretched out a bit in that place - like bad TV reception with a squiggle line running through the picture and everything on the TV "squishes" along that line. The muted white color made everything look two dimensional too. The only thing I can think to compare it to is watching a reflection in a giant pool of milk. It's like everything was a reflection in a giant pool of milk, but right-side-up.
    The first part of the dream had my family and I in some strange city. We all wanted to do separate things so we planned to all go do our separate things in the city then meet back at a certain place at a certain time.
    Then I was back in NYC but I was going uptown to visit the rich couple I work for from previous dreams. The layout of the city was weird - stuff I had never seen before. There were places that had dirt roads and little underpasses - like covered bridges almost - that looked like they were from an old western town. Also a lot of the buildings looked very old, like I was in Europe or something.
    When I was walking uptown I noticed that I could walk or run in slow motion, and that I could kind of levitate in the air when doing this. It was like I could move underwater. I was walking near where the couple lives and I thought "I hope they don't see me because the way I can levitate like this makes me look drunk!"
    Then it was nighttime and I was trying to find my way home. I kept seeing all these parts of the city that I had no idea existed before. I saw this mini strip mall thing that was all made of the same red colored molded plastic, and all the stores were children stores. I can't remember if I found my way home or not. There were also parking lots everywhere, big flat ones, and they don't really have many of those in NYC. I think beyond the molded plastic strip mall was an immense, dark field that seemed to stretch on forever.

9/14/00:

    I'm watching this girl on a television screen. I am watching it with a lot of other people and we are all commenting on it, but I never see these other people. The reception on the TV is really bad, and there is a lot of "snow". And there is no sound. I spend the whole time looking at the screen trying to figure the girl out or get better reception. I think she is blond and is smoking a cigarette and is wearing a diner waitress uniform.

9/15/00:

    I'm in some weird urban area that seems kind-of futuristic. I am hanging out with a bunch of guys that seem really young. But I seem a lot younger too. We live in these tall towers in the city inside these cool apartments. The inside of the apartments are round and have these dome/triangle windows that look out over the vast city because our apartments on on like, the billionth floor of these buildings. The sunlight in the city has a strange hue. I remember the apartments had orange-ish yellow-ish carpet that looked really old and dirty.
    We don't have any money and all our apartments have no furniture, just like jam boxes and stacks of magazines and maybe a little refrigerator. We spend all our time hanging out and laughing and drinking beer and stuff. I think one of the guys has a pick up truck or something like that so sometimes we ride around the city in it.
    At some point we go to a big drugstore, like an Eckard's or a Rite Aide or something. We all go in and walk around. The aisles of the store are divided my wire mesh fence - weird. I see Dave Doorknob there. Dave tells me I should get a job there with him because it's an easy job and he can pick me up at my apartment every morning and I will make a lot of money. I really consider doing this but I have a lot of reservations too. All my friends have mixed opinions about taking the job. I follow Dave into one of the work rooms and see that it's a nursery with a lot of kids running around. It has royal blue carpet and more wire mesh fencing. I suddenly don't want the job when I see all the kids.

9/16/00:

    I'm in some snowy, Wintertime setting with lots of trees and houses scattered about and stuff. Maybe like a ski area or something. It's daytime and the sun is shining bright against all the snow. I'm going to some house that has an immense back yard - all snow. I go to the house but I can't get in, or don't want to. I see in the back yard that there is a yellow nylon rope stretched across the yard and leading into the trees behind the yard. The back yard slopes up, like the house is built on a mountain side with the tip of the mountain behind the front of the house. The yellow rope moves every once in a while and I wonder what it could be attached to.
    All of the sudden a flash goes into my mind and I am able to see what the rope is for. There is a man  trapped in an icy stream and he can't get out. The rope is attached to him and he needs someone to pull him out before he drowns or freezes to death. However, the frozen stream is in the front of the house and the rope going through the back yard and leading into the trees is the end of the rope - the one you need to pull to yank him out of the stream. So whoever does needs to go into the forest and find the end and pull on it. So I go up the hill and into the trees to find the end of the rope. While walking up the hill I realize the man drowning is the man who lives in the house.
    As I'm doing this I see a dog walking around the back yard, it's a collie I think. Then I see a woman in the yard, whom I don't know. I ask the woman to help me and she agrees. I find the end of the rope and I get the end of it and start pulling. The woman pulls with me. The thing is it's really hard. I mean really, really hard. As I am pulling on the rope I feel that we are succeeding, but that it is really, really difficult. I'm thinking "This is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish it." I'm chugging and huffing along and thinking "If I just take it one step at a time and concentrate I will be able to save this man, I have too! A life is at stake!" I have no idea what the woman or dog is doing.
    After a lot of strenuous work the man is suddenly free and we can hear him yelling at like "Thank you!" or something and I think the dog is running to his side. Me and the woman are hanging out on the sunny, snowy, sloping mountain side amongst the trees and it's really beautiful. I think I mention something about the movie "Fitzcarraldo".
    Then I'm in this gigantic art museum somewhere in Spain. The museum is beautiful, with large rooms and immense hallways and balconies and stuff - very "modern" with clean lines and all. I think everything is made of off-white marble, with little bits of maroon here and there. And I think the maroon parts are made of rubber - odd. I am working with some other men to steal a valuable piece of artwork. We are stealing the valuable piece of art in the middle of the day while the museum is crowded because I think we think it will be more exciting this way. We have guns.
    Indeed when the heist goes down we are running through the hallways guns blazing and shooting at guards and people are screaming and everything. As the even is unfolding I am kind of removed from the situation and watching it like I'm watching a move or whatever. It's at this point, as I'm observing myself, I see that I am wearing this cool Italian suit with a gray shirt and maroon tie and patent leather shoes and my hair is black and slicked back and I have sideburns. I never find out how it ends.
    I then am, once again, in an alternate NYC setting (I am home in NYC but the city looks nothing like I remember it and I see no identifiable landmarks). I live in some weird space where it's an immense room and the front wall of the room opens out onto a giant hallway and that hallway is my front yard. I can look down the giant hallway and see the openings to other living spaces. The hallway has dark blue industrial carpet and gray walls. I see another neighbor, a girl with long black hair and wearing a hospital gown. She is looking at me (from far away) out of her living space and she looks a little apprehensive.
    I then am at a therapy session and my therapist is Camille Paglia. Her office is all black with a giant window on one wall, to her left (she is sitting behind a desk and I am sitting in front of her - so the window is to my right). Outside the window is the West Side Highway and Chelsea/Christopher Street Piers in Manhattan, which look the same as I remember them. It's like they literally sit outside her window.
    I am telling her about my life and I think I am subconsciously trying to impress her with the way I talk because I am like "Wow! Camille Paglia is my therapist! I can't wait to hear her opinion on things in my life!". I think I tell her about the Spanish art museum heist and she's smiling like "Ohhh! Mmm-hmmm! Oh my!" like really impressed or something.
    Then as we are having our session, I look out the window and see the actress Reese Witherspoon. She is dressed as a prostitute and is standing on the side of the West Side Highway (so she is literally right outside our window) and she is crying. It's weird because I know she is actually doing this in a film, like she's not really there. Reese is playing this character in a film that has already been shot and is being broadcast on TV or something, but we are "seeing" the movie right outside our window or whatever. But it's like Reese is really outside there.
    I point to Reese and say to Camille "They couldn't get the ____________ together so they're broadcasting this Reese Witherspoon movie..." I don't know what the ____________ is or what word I even said but it seems to be some scheduled thing in the city that is supposed to happen at a certain time but doesn't happen for some reason and so they are "broadcasting" this movie instead, which Camille and I are seeing as one of the characters in real life along the West Side Highway.
    Then suddenly Camille's office transforms into a cafe. It has the same layout, but it is painted lighter and there are tables and chairs. The widow is now a giant open door that leads out to the area of the Christopher Street piers where you can stroll around and stuff.
    I am sitting at a table with someone I don't know. It's a young guy and he is wearing glasses. I am telling him about all the things I have to do during the week. I look down at this little schedule book and see things written in it like:
 

Tuesday: "Save drowning man in icy stream" and;

Wednesday: "Steal photograph from Spanish art museum, note: dress stylish and bring a gun" and;

Thursday: "Therapy session with Camille"

    The things have times written next to them and things are crossed out and moved to other places with arrows scribbled everywhere, like I'm always canceling things or re-scheduling them and shuffling things around.
    As I'm looking down at the book I realize that I had to cancel my session with Camille and forgotten to tell her and I start to freak out and wonder if she charged me anyway for not officially canceling. I stand up and am freaking out and thinking things like "...if so-and-so hadn't re-scheduled that thing during my scheduled session with Camille this wouldn't have happened!" like it's somebody else's fault but my own for not canceling the appointment with Camille. I realize this and feel guilty about trying to point the blame at someone else when it's really my own fault. As I'm freaking out I look out the window and see Camille sitting on one of the benches with two friends. She is hanging out and eating ice cream. I realize, somehow, that she is doing this instead of having a session with me. Also, it's weird but the session that I never showed up at because I had to do something else was the session I was at earlier where we saw Reese Witherspoon. There seems to be different alternate realities happening at once in the dream.

9/17/00:

    I'm living in some strange town with Senator John McCain and his wife. I am like their adopted son or maybe just their house guest or something, I don't know. They have this huge house and it's full of taxidermy. They keep really weird hours because they are always so busy, like coming in from some function at 5am and then sleeping until 2pm and waking up and going to give a speech or cut a ribbon or something. They are really busy and seem like robots almost, like they don't have time to think about anything.
    Late one night I am with John in their immense library. There is an empty fish tank full of dead grass and what looks like baby turtles. John is showing them to me and saying that they are not real, they are made of chocolate and cinnamon and you can eat them. He has his hand in the tank and is shuffling them around - they really look like they are moving - but I can see there are made of cinnamon and chocolate.
    Then I am at some function with Mrs. McCain and she is speaking or going to pose for a photo-op or something and people are running around setting up and I'm just kind of wandering around. People start asking Mrs. McCain questions and her answers are really cliche and phony and everyone is eating it up and I'm thinking "How come I'm hanging around with these freaks?"
    I'm at an amusement park with Michael Wakefield and we are looking at the rides. I see that swing ride where people sit on swings on that giant ring that spins around and their swings spin outward. Except the people are tied upside down and as they swing around their heads explode(!) I'm kind of freaking out but everyone is calm like it's normal or no big deal. I stand next to the ride and I imagine myself doing this "Evening At the Improv"-style stand up comedy routine on TV talking about how rides at amusement parks are supposed to be fun but they are really like medieval torture devices. I see myself doing it on stage and I'm fat and look like a totally different person and the audience is roaring with laughter.
    Then I am working at the "control booth" of some arena. I have a friend working there with me and we seem to be preparing for some function. People are lining up in the arena. I'm selecting the music that is playing over the loudspeakers and I can never find the right song to play. Some middle aged couple come into the booth to ask me directions to some part of the arena. I go out of the booth and point the way to them. The woman has a fur coat on and they kind of remind me of the McCains. When I go back into the booth I see that more people have gotten into the arena and the event is about to start and I am now behind in my "duties" - none of the tapes I was supposed to cue for the show are ready and the show's gonna start in a matter of seconds.
    Then I'm in some grassy area and I see some little kid sitting on a giant sized, upside down tea cup. I hear this voice in my head that says something like "Poor Mark! Someone is sitting on the base of his __________!" except I can't remember what the __________ word was.

9/18/00:

Can't remember any dreams last night (had to wake up really, really early).

9/19/00:

    Last night I dreamt a lot about Madonna. Why exactly I don't know, but I did. I was observing her in and out of situations and stuff, can't remember what exactly.
    At one point in the dream I was wondering around NYC but it looked nothing like the NYC I know (once again). It was nighttime and I was wondering north on the east side, against the water. There was a road and bushes along side the road, and on the other side was the Hudson River. I think I kept having to cross the road and, since there were no street lights or anything, I think the cars being able to see me was an issue. I think I had long, wavy black hair in this part. The edge of the city reminded me of Randall's Island, this "corporate habitat" with lots of apartment complexes in the upper part of NYC, between Queens and Manhattan (a place I visited on a bike trip once and really liked because it reminded me of the suburbs of Dallas, Texas).
    During another part of the dream I was working at some design studio. The boss was this woman who had short dark hair and always dressed in pastel colored business suits. I think the studio was very successful because the layout of the studio was laid out beautifully. Gigantic rooms with colorful furniture and bright blue and red and yellow carpets and sunlight beaming in all the different windows. Really nice work desks and nice things everywhere - you got the impression that the business made a lot of money and it was important to the boss to create a very pleasant working environment.
    Anyway, I observed the woman at several points (kind of observing her "psychically" like she didn't know I was in the room) looking very depressed and despondent, and maybe weeping. I think she might have had a drinking problem too, I kept seeing full shot glasses in front of her that I had the impression she wanted to keep secret.
    Anyway, at one point the doorbell to the studio rang and I somehow saw that three friends of mine were outside and wanted to come it. I had never seen these three people before but somehow they were my friends in the dream. I was about to let them in, or somebody was, and I saw the boss raise her head from the table (she had been sitting at a table resting her head in her arms) and say "Hey! No, no visitors. No visitors Mark, tell them they aren't allowed in!" and then she put her head back down.
    I went outside and told my friends they couldn't come in because my boss was a total depressive freak and had a drinking problem. I really raked her reputation through the mud to them. They didn't really react and almost didn't move and looked pretty resigned to the whole situation. They almost looked a little surprised that I would talk about my boss that way.

9/20/00:

Cannot remember my dreams this morning.

9/21/00:

Cannot remember my dreams this morning. I think I dreamed of my friend Rick who is in this month's issue of Honcho magazine. I dreamed he was running around a high school laughing.

9/22/00:

    I'm in a suburban area very similar to Plano, Texas. I have a friend who lives in a house down the street. He is very "sick" in an abstract way. He was supposedly approached by Satan a day ago, and was convinced to make an appointment with him 24 hours later to "sell his soul". My friend regrets making the decision but feels resigned to it, and he is very depressed about it. The way Satan will buy my friend's soul is to visit him in the middle of the night and posses him.
    I am in the suburban neighborhood and it is night. I'm walking down the street to my friend's house to visit him while he gets ready for bed so Satan can come visit him. I have to break into his house for some reason. I use a wire hanger to pry open a window and crawl inside. While doing this a neighbor comes out of his house and yells at me. The neighbor is wearing a robe and slippers and seems really angry and quite capable of violence. I slip in my friends house just as the neighbor catches up to the window I'm breaking into. The neighbor snatches for my leg and I leap right inside. He just missed catching me. When I'm inside I look up at the window and see the neighbor's head looking in and "hissing" in anger. He has a demon tongue (slithering around his face) and glowing red eyes and has the appearance of a scary monster. I realize the neighbor was one of Satan's demon's trying to stop me from helping my friend against him. He looks really threatening and I'm glad I escaped him.
    Now inside my friend's house, I realize two things; 1. I can fly, or hover, around the house effortlessly and; 2. there is no power in the house (the only light is by streetlights or moonlight coming in from the windows, casting patterns on the walls). I float upstairs to my friend's bedroom. He is getting ready for bed, reluctantly and depressed. I now see the friend as Domenic. He is pulling the sheets over to the bed and then laying under the covers with only his head visible at the top poking out of the head of the bed. We talk about how he doesn't want to do this but has no choice. While there I realize there is nothing I can do to stop Satan but decide to stick around and help my friend through a tough ordeal. I will hang out until Satan arrives, but will then leave because I don't want Satan to trick me into selling my soul (for some reason I see this as a scary possibility). Domenic is in bed awaiting his fate and I'm hovering around the ceiling and the room is dark save for the patterns from the moonlight coming in the windows.
    I am waiting in suspense for Satan's arrival and am keeping alert, my eyes darting around the dark room, for his arrival. My eyes keep going back to a big, french door style window that is on one of the walls, because I expect him to come in there. I am pretty frightened and apprehensive about him. Sure enough, at some point I am looking at the light coming from underneath the closed bedroom door from the moonlight in the hallway outside. It casts a "bar" of light onto the bedroom carpet (which is gray or light blue). I see a weird shadow moving around the door outside. Just like in a cheesy movie I hear a low tone from a theremin come into the dream, like a scary movie soundtrack. I realize the shadow is caused by a slowly crawling tarantula coming under the door. The door opens somehow and I see an army of tarantulas crawling into the room. This is how Satan mark's his arrival. The music swells, and I see Satan coming up the stairs. He is an older man with white short hair and dressed all in black. He is walking up the curved stairs into Domenic's bedroom and his eyes are locked with mine the whole time. I am still hovering around the ceiling and then fly over his head, down the stairs, and through the living room towards the front door to escape. I totally forget about Domenic.
    As I'm making my way flying through the house, Satan appears in several locations around the house to try and "catch" me but it doesn't work. At some points he has a flat, two-dimensional appearance and comes out of the sides of doorways like a fax coming out of a fax machine. There are other armies of tarantulas and I thing one scenario involving monkeys around the house. I realize these are meant to scare me.
    I guess I make it out of the house because I'm wandering around (on foot) the night time suburbs of Plano. It's all peaceful and quiet and I really feel at home. I think I see some other people or situations but can't quite remember what they are. One I think involved some friends of mine outside the side of a house quietly fighting over one of those melted and "stretched out" coke bottle things you used to be able to buy at Spencer Gifts.

9/23/00:

Can't remember my dreams last night.

9/24/00:

    I'm watching a music video or something on a screen. I am aware that I am watching a screen but am not aware of what kind of environment I'm in - all I see is the screen. In the video, Madonna is singing "What It's Like For a Girl". It is a special mix of the song that is a collaboration between Madonna and Kim Gordon. Kim is playing guitar on top of the song in a really abstract, skronk-y way and saying "We are the princesses! We are the princesses!" like on her SYR5 CD. She's saying this part in between Madonna's singing and when she plays her guitar Madonna looks on in a friendly way and they seem to be getting along really well in the video. And I think I see their kids Coco, Lourdes and Rocco running around in the background playing. It's almost like they are lesbian lovers or something. Oh and Madonna is wearing her outfit from her new album cover, with the cowboy hat, and Kim is wearing a white Calvin Klein silk dress and white sling backs. It's very warm and touching and weird sounding and I'm really enjoying it. Suddenly I notice the whole video, and everything I'm looking at as well, is in black and white, except instead of black and white everything is mint green and white (the same color scheme the SYR5 CD cover is).
    I stop watching the video and look in my hands and I am holding an ice cream cone and the flavor is mint green. I am licking the ice cream (it is delicious) and I look closely into it as I'm licking it and see that it has these microscopic "flavor crystals" that I can somehow see. The flavor crystals, as I look very close, are hundreds of little screens playing the video and song I was just watching. Each little crystal makes you experience the video in it's entirety, and when you eat them all together it's like you instantly fall in love with the song and want to buy the CD. I think something like "Wow! Madonna is a marketing devil...this scheme she has worked out with Baskin-Robbins to get people who eat this flavor of ice cream to instantly want to buy her remix CD with Kim Gordon is brilliant and evil! She's like a weird, glamorous version of Hitler! Geez!"
    Then suddenly I'm a little kid all of the sudden and I'm standing in this ice cream parlor, like a Baskin-Robbins, with my father. My dad is holding my hand. I think I must be about three or four years old because I can hardly talk. The whole parlor is brilliant white fluorescent lit, and it is nighttime outside. I want some ice cream but I'm too shy to ask the woman behind the counter and I keep looking up at my dad. I can somehow see behind the counter and all the flavors they have are the same color - bright pink. My dad asks what flavor I want and then the woman behind the counter says "Sorry we're closed, you have to leave." My dad is like "Oh, OK. Let's go Mark." For some reason this makes me incredibly sad and I feel like someone has died or something, a great sense of loss like I'm gonna start crying or something. As I wake up I see a close up of the woman behind the counter's face and she is putting away some lemons.

9/25/00:

Well, since I didn't sleep at all last night, I didn't dream.

9/26/00:

    I'm observing some 70's-style television drama or movie. Like "McMillan and Wife" or something like that. In it there is a brunette woman who is on her honeymoon. She has married the man of her dreams after dating him for a long time. Her new husband is showing her around a gigantic honeymoon suite or a huge house. She has waited a long time for this and she is very happy. She's thinking something like "I'm so totally content now!"
    As she is listening to he husband, I stop observing her and suddenly I become her, seeing things through her eyes. I (her) hear a a voice to my left saying something like "Yoo hoo! Over here!" I look over to my left and, in an open doorway, behind it and poking out from the left side of the doorway, is a skeleton hand waving at me.

9/26/00:

Can not remember dreams last night.

9/27/00:

    Weird dream of Big Brother TV show (which I watched a tape of before going to bed). There was footage of Jamie leaving the house and lots of slow motion replays of her awkwardly looking at the camera while hugging her mom and then when she started hugging all those people and she inadvertently hugged a cameraman. Julie Chen was interviewing her and Jamie looked terrified and traumatized. My dream was like watching it again but it had extra stuff in it, like what I thought was happening inside the people's minds was more visible on the outside, in my dream version of Big Brother.

9/29/00:

Did I skip a day? Huh?
    I'm stuck in some really small room with a bunch of people. All I have to do all the time is look at the backs of these paperback books and compare the comments on them to each other. The comments on the back of the books are quotes from literary reviews that are used to hype the book. I seem to have this weird "job" of taking snippets of one comment and pairing them together with other ones so they look like new ones - or something like that? The whole time I'm doing this people from the room are crowding around me and it's really annoying. We are living like sardines, literally. My friend Michael Wakefield and Jordan from Big Brother are there. I have all these cut out covers of books and paste and scissors and stuff lying around and people keep knocking them over. I know that some man is going to come by at some point to take the new quotes I've constructed and use them for a new book. At some point I'm like "I'm not getting enough money for this!" and "How come my name doesn't get printed in the book even though I'm doing a lot of the work!? Can't my name be listed in the credits as 'critic quote re-constructor' or something?"

9/30/00:

    I'm having trouble remembering last night. I just seem to remember little snippets of things. Like me and some guy living on top of this pole, in a weird tree house or something. We would go down the pole sometimes to the ground and there was this weird world that looked like something out of that movie "The Land Time Forgot". There were men and women with beautiful bodies wearing animal skin bikini's and briefs and loincloths and stuff. They always seemed to be fighting. I think the women were one team and the men were the other. It was like a classic battle of the sexes. The men and women were always fighting with sticks and stuff. I think at one point I saw Rachel Welch looking like her Loana role in "One Million Years B.C."
    When we went down into this world the guy I'm living in the tree house is saying something like "Just ignore all this conflict - gather some food and let's go back up into the tree house!" When I look at him I realize it's my (cyber) friend Rob from Rob Cam Live! in London.
    Then I am in another setting and I am taken to this room where there is Rob and some other people. There are four of us all together and we are having a meeting. I get the feeling the meeting couldn't start until I got there. We start talking and it's real casual and the meeting doesn't last that long. After it's over, Rob and I are walking down the hallway of the building (white dry wall, fluorescent lighting, royal blue industrial carpet) and Rob is saying "Didn't you see Rex from Rex Cam sitting right next to you? Why didn't you say hi?" and I'm like "Huh? He was? I didn't realize that!" But in my head I knew it was him the whole time and I just wanted to act like I didn't notice him. I feel guilty and stupid and I'm like "I haven't changed much since grade school!"