In Space, No One Can Hear You Type
Posted by Mark Allen on 02 Dec 2007 | Tagged as: Random Posts

Ihaven’twrittenonmysiteinawhile.Oops,Iforgottoputspacesbetweenthewords. There that’s better.
Hey,IwonderwhatwouldhappenifIdidn’tputANYspacesbetweenthewordsasItyped? Atall? And…WhatIfIPutACapitalLetterAtTheBeginningOfEachWordLikeThisToMakeItEasierToRead? Hey, I wonder if…
Ohh neat… look…
WhenIDoThatItMakesTheTextOneBigLineThatWon’tBreak.AndItJustKeepsGoingUnderTheGraphicsOnTheRightOfTheWebsiteAndBeyond.YouCanUseTheScrollBarAtTheBottomOfTheBrowserPageToReadIt.WhatDoYouKnow.Hmmm,IDon’tThinkICanTypeAnyQuestionMarksEitherOrItBreaksTheLine.LookHowFarItGoesOut.Wow.LookAtAllTheSpaceOutHere!ICanSeeAReally,ReallyLongWay.IWonderIfThereIsAnEdge.IFeelsGoodToStretch.IWonderWhatElseIsOutHere.Hello!Hello!Hellllooooooo!!!CanAnybodyHearMe!No.Wow.TalkAboutPrivacy.IWonderIfAnythingIsOutHereAtAll.IDon’tThinkSo.I’llBetTheHitCountOutHereIsWayBelowZero.IWonderWhereTheSeriesOfTubesIs.HaHa!WowEverything’sSoWhiteAndClean.OrGray,IGuess.There’sNoLitter,NoNothing.NotASmudge.TheAirFeelsPristine!Ahhhhhhhh.ThisIsGreat!IFeelSoFree!ILoveBeingOutHereAllAlone.NoManIsAnIsland,AllThatCrap,HehHeh.SpeakingOf,Wait,Ohhh,WaitLetMeStopAndTurnAroud.Wow.LookAtTheInternetBehindMe!I’veGoneFartherThanI’dThought,ItLooksSoPrettyFarAway,It’sSoColorful.Hmm,IWonderIfAnythingIsInTheOtherDirection.WhoCares!Haha!I’mJustGonnaKeepGoingAndGoing!Wow,ICanThinkSoMuchClearerOutHere.I’llJustWalkAndSeeWhereItTakesMe.IHopeIDon’tGetLost!Actually,IDon’tCareIfIDo.MaybeI’dBetterShutUp,BecauseTheMoreIType,TheMoreIDriftOutToSea.TheTypingIsLikeATideCarryingMeOutHelplesslyToSea.Help!ICan’tSwimAgainstTheCurrentOfMyOwnWillToBlatherOnWithSelfImportance!PayAttentionToMe!Haha!WillThisOneLastStabAtRelevancyBeMyDownfallIWonder.OopsI’dBetterSpellCheckThis.Wait,ICan’t,It’sAllOneWord.HaHa!Wait,HowFarOutAmINow.Oh,IDon’tCare!HmmWaitMaybeIShouldCare,LetMeTurnAroundAndLookAgain.Ohh,Wow,TheInternetIsEvenFartherAwayNow.ThatDidn’tTakeLong.WowItLooksLikeAGiantCircusTentCityWayOnTheHorizon.Hmm,IGuessThat’sKindOfWhatIThoughtItWouldLookLikeInThisKindOfSituation.OhWellSoMuchForCliches.ButLookingAheadOfMe,IReallyStillDon’tSeeAnythingAtAll.WhiteWhiteWhite.Oh,Right,Gray.AndReeeealQuiet.MaybeThereReallyIsNothingOutThere,Literally.ShouldITurnAroundAndGoBackIWonder.No,TheHellWithIt.I’llBeFine.I’llJustKeepGoing.WhatIfItIsEndlessThough.Hmmm.Weird.ItLooksLikeI’mInACarCommercialOutHere.IfItWereMoreWhiteItWouldAnyway.Haha!OkayNotAGreatJoke,ButWhoCares,NoOne’sGoingToReadItOutHere!OutsideTheInternet,NoOneCanHearYouScream.No,YourJokes.Wait,No:InWhiteSpace,NoOneCanHearYouScream.AnotherBadOne.ButWho’sGonnaReadIt.JustMe!DoIEvenExistOutHereIWonder.No,OhWait,I’veGotAGoodOneNow:NoMatterHowLoudlyYouType,OutsideTheInternetNoOneCanHearYou,Uh,Type.NoThat’sStupid.OhWaitNo,I’veGotIt.ItShouldJustBeThis:InOuterSpaceNoOneCanHearYouType.Hey,ThatShouldBeTheTitleOfThisPost!I’llTypeThatUpAtTheTopOfTheTitleBarWhenIGetBack.Let’sSeeIfThat’sTrue.HowLoudICanType.Click!Click!!Click!!!Click!!!!Click!!!!!Click!!!!!!LetMeLookBack,Nope,NoReactionFromTheMainland.Wow,ItLooksReallyFarAwayNow.MaybeIShouldn’tGoTooFar,IDon’tWantToGetLost.MaybeIShouldHaveBroughtACompass,No,Wait.WouldThatWorkOutHereIWonder.MaybeOneOfThoseOnesFromMapquestOrGoogleEarthWould.WhoKnows.Hey,IsThisLike�Tron�Haha!Hey,WithNoOneWatchingIShouldGetNude.Haha.ShouldITakeOffAllMyClothesIWonder.Who’sGoingToMind.HehHeh.OkHereGoes.Ziiiiip,FlailFlail.HaHa!I’mWalkingNaked!I’mNudeOnTheInternet!Wait,No,I’mNudeOutsideTheInternet.OutsideTheInternet,NoOneCanSeeYouNude.HaHa!AnotherBomb.IFeelSoFree.Wheeeeee.Wheeee.Oh,Wow,SpinningAroundLikeThatMakesYouFeelReally,ReallyDizzyWhenThere’sNothingButWhiteSpaceInFrontOfYourEyes.BetterKeepMoving.Ahhhh,AllThisWhiteSpaceFeelsGoodWaftingThroughMyNetherRegions.ILoveBeingOutHere.WhatAVacation.IWonderIfI’mTheOnlyPersonWho’sEverComeOutHereThisFar.Hey,MaybeIShouldLeaveATrailOfSomethingSoICanFindMyWayBackHome.HeyIKnowI’llLeaveATrailOfMyClothesThatITookOff!LetMeGetThem,They’reRightBackHere.OhWait,WhereDidTheyGo.TheyWereRightBackHere.NowIDon’tSeeThem.AndWait,Where’sTheInternetFromHere.IDon’tSeeItOnTheHorizonAnymore.IWonderIfI’mIStillGoingTheSameDirectionThatIWas.UhOh,MaybeIShouldn’tHaveSpunAroundLikeThatBefore.IWonderIfI’mStillGoingInAStraightLineStill.Wait,Don’tPanic.Stop,LookAround,TheInternetCan’tHaveGottenFar.I’mSureIfIStareCloselyEnoughAroundTheHorizonI’llSeeIt.ButInWhichDirection.Brrr,It’sGettingChilly.WhereTheHellIsIt.Wait,It’sBehindMeMaybe.No.WhyDidIGetRidOfMyClothes,ThatWasStupid.Ok,Don’tPanic,Don’tPanic.I’mNotLost,IJustCan’tSeeAnything.Think.Hellooooo!Helloooooo!WhatAmIDoing.ThereAin’tNoOneOutHere.WhatShouldIDo.OhGodIThinkIShouldJustKeepMoving.WhichWayIWonder.Ok,ThisWay.No.Wait,YeaThatWay.GoodGod,Where.Wait,Where,IShouldFindMyClothesFirstThenI’llBeAbleToTellWhatDirectionTheInternetIsBackIn.Ok,IThinkThey’reThisWay.I’mGoingToTrustMyGutFeeling,ThisIsTheWayBack,I’llHitMyPileOfClothesSoon.ButWait,IWouldHaveHitThemByNow.Damn.OkDon’tPanic.Hey,WaitWhyDon’tIJustHitTheBackSpaceKeyOnMyLineOfTextAndFollowThatBack,ThatWouldWork.HoldOn,No.ThenIWouldBeErasingMyselfAsIWentBackAndWouldn’tExistAnymore.PlusThatDoesn’tMakeSense.Duh.GotToThinkLogically.Damn.ManIReallyHaveToTakeACrapToo.IReallyShouldn’tHaveHadThatBurritoBeforeILeft.Damn,I’mLost,I’mLost,I’mLost.Ok,JustKeepMoving.WhyDidIDoThis.ThereMustBeSomethingElseOutHere,Anybody,Something.I’llProbablyFindASkeleton.Damn,I’mJustGoingToKeepMoving.I’mBoundToHitSomethingOrSomebodyAtSomePoint.HeyIWonderIfIt’sLikeASphereOutHere.LikeI’mWalkingOnAPlanetShapeAndI’llEventuallyGoAllTheWayAroundItAndBackToTheInternet.LikeTheEarth,ButWaitThat’sHuge!SomeOfPluto’sMoonsAreRealSmall.What’sThatChildren’sStoryAboutThatLittlePrinceWhoLivedOnATinyPlanet.Oh,God,I’mScrewed.Ok,JustKeepMovingAndDon’tThinkOfThingsLikeThat!NotHelping,NotHelping.OrWait,What’sThatDoughnutTheoryThing.MaybeI’mOnTheInsideOfAFunnelOrATube,AndIt’sAllConnected.AndI’llGoBackAroundEventually.ButIDon’tKnowHowBigAndINeverUnderstoodThatTheory,Damn.Ohh,Wait,What’sThatStringThing.MaybeIShouldLookForAWormhole,NoThatWouldBeBadIThink.Ok,StopThinkingLikeThat.ThinkLogically.I’llFindMyWayBack.HeyWhatIfIEventuallyHitAnAlternateRealityVersionOfTheInternet.ThatWouldBeInteresting.ThatWouldBeFineWithMeAtThisPoint,Actually.I’llTakeAnAlternateInternet.Anything.God,I’mThirstyNow.AndIHaveToTakeADumpRealBad.Still.Ugh.WhyDon’tTheyHaveBathroomsPublicBathroomsOutHere.OhThatMakesSense.MaybeI’mDelirious.ThisIsSoNotFunny.God,YouKnowICouldJustBendOverAndTakeADumpRightHere,AndWho’sGonnaKnow.MaybeIShouldKeepGoingInstead.I’mSureEverythingWillBeOk.WowI’mWalkingReallyFast.ICan’tBelieveI’mNude.ThatWasSoStupid.ThisWholeThingIsSoStupid.Stupid,Stupid,Stupid!IShouldNeverHaveWanderedThisFarFromTheInternet!Stupid,Stupid,Stupid!AndI’mNude!ThisIsPathetic!God!Wow,IStillCan’tBelieveHowFastI’mWalking.ShouldIRunIWonder.ShouldIConserveMyEnergy.GodIWishIHadSomeWater,I’mSoThirsty.That’sIt,I’mJustGonnaSquatDownAndTakeADump,I’veReallyGottaGo.Ok,OhGodI’mActuallyLookingAroundLikeSomeoneMightSeeMe.Ok,BendDown.Unngh.GodIt’sHardToGo,IWishIHadSomePrivacyOrSomeWallsAroundMeOrSomething.Hello.Auuughhh!!!What!WhoIsThat.It’sMe.OhMyGod,WhatInTheHell,WhereDidYouComeFrom.WhatAreYouDoingBehindMe.WhatAreYouDoingSquattedDownLikeThat.I,Uh,Well,IDidn’tThinkAnyoneWasOutHere,AndIHadToGo,OhGodYouReallyFrightenedMe.I’mSorry.WhyAreYouTypingWithTheBoldTextKeyHeldDownLikeThat.ItHelpsMeGetMyPointAcross.Oh.WellI’mGladThough,I’mGladSomeone’sHere.WhereAreYourClothes.IGotRidOfThem,Before,IWasJustHavingAMoment,AndIKindOfFlungThemOffAndNowICan’tFindThem.IKnowIWasWatchingYouWhenYouDidThat.I,YouWere.WhatDoYouMeanYouWereWatchingMe.WhereWereYou.OhI’veBeenWatchingYouForAWhile.YouDid,ButHow.I’veBeenFollowingRightBehindYouForALongTime.What.WhyDidn’tISeeYou.IWasRightBehindYou,JustAFootOrTwo,BeingRealQuiet.JustFollowingAndWatching.Really.That’sKindOfWeird.OhIWasGoingToSayHelloEventually,ButIJustWantedToWatchYouForABit.Well,Whatever,I’mSoGladToFindSomeone.I’mLost.INeedToGetBackToTheInternet,IWasTypingAndRealizedICouldKindOfDriftOutHereAndIThoughtItWasNeatAtFirstAnd.OhIKnow.WhatDoYouMean.HowDoYouKnow.IDidTheVerySameThingMyselfYearsAgo.WhatDoYouMeanYearsAgo.I’veBeenOutHereAVeryLongTime.What,HowLong.OhIDon’tKnow,Years,MaybeADecade.IStoppedCounting.What!WhyHaven’tYouGoneBackToTheInternet.ICan’tFindIt.IStoppedLookingAltogetherYearsAgo.IDon’tBelieveThis!HowDoYouSurvive.Oh,IManage.When!When!How!OhIDidTheSameThingYouDid,InAWay.IUsedToGoToM.I.T.And,Well,It’sALongStory.ButHow!WhatDoYouEatOutHere!OhIFindStuff.Really,LikeWhat!Oh,Stuff.WellListen,INeedYourHelp.MaybeNowThatThere’sTwoOfUsNow,WeCanFindOurWayBackToTheInternet.No,ThatWon’tWork,TwoOrEvenThreePeopleWon’tWork.TrustMe,You’reNeverGettingBack.WhatDoYouMean!YouMeanYou’veTried!Sure.Wait,SoWhatDoYouMean,TheOthers!Others.YouKnow,OthersLikeUsOutHere.WellWhatHappenedToThem!Oh,They’reGoneNow.Huh!YouMean,What,DidTheyDie!Yes.WhatHappened!WhatDidYouDoAboutIt.What’sToDo.It’sAJungleOutHere.Yea.Listen,Um,IDon’tThinkINeedYourHelpAfterAll.I’mGonnaWalkInTheOtherDirectionNow.IThinkIKnowWhereTheInternetIsNow.You’llNeverFindIt.Yea,OhWell.I’mGonnaWalkThisOtherWayAnyway.ThanksForYourHelp,Bye.WhereAreYouGoing.ThisWay.That’sTheWrongWay,They’reAllTheWrongWay.Why!HowDoYouKnow!Oh,ForgetIt.TrustMe.ListenIWantToWalkAlone.Why.Don’tFollowMeLikeThat,Please,INeedToConcentrate.Why.INeedToGetBackToTheInternet.YouNeverWill.NoneOfTheOthersIMetOutHereEverDid.GetAwayFromMe!Why.What’sWrong.JustGetAway!WhyAreYouRunning.AreYouAfraid.Stop!StopFollowingMe!Help!Help!!WhoAreYouShoutingAt.There’sNoOneOutHereButUs.GetAway!No!What’sWrong.Stop!Auuuggghhh!GetOffOfMe!WhatAreYouDoing!HoldStill.Stop!OhMyGod!Help!Heeeeelp!!!StopFighting.It’llBeEasierThisWay.Help!!!OhMyGod,No!!!Heeeeeelp!!!Stop.Auuuuggghhhhh!!!Nooooooo!!!Auuugghhhh,eaaauuuugggh,gurgle,sputter,gag,eeauuugghh.There,See.ThatWasn’tBadWasIt.ThisIsABigOne.ItShouldLastForWeeks.Sigh,IWishThereWasSomethingElseToDoOutHereBesidesHuntForFood.EveryTimeIGetAnotherOneItMakesMeNostalgicForWhenIThoughtICouldGetBack.Can’tThough,Nope.GottaSurvive.There’llBeOthers.IJustWishThereWasSomethingOutHereToKillTheBoredom.
Mark on Facebook
Mark on Twitter
Mark on Instagram
Mark on YouTube
Email Mark here
















































The Flying Lizards: A Band Arranged According to the Laws of Chance [Sound Collector #6, 2001]
Who Is Harry Stephen Keeler? [A To Izzard, A Harry Stephen Keeler Companion, Ramble House]
Bob [blind]
David [deaf]
Greg Walloch
[cerebral palsy and famous]
Kevin [lost left leg]
Victor [too skinny]
Derek [lost most of right arm]






Trip to the Middle of Nowhere
Paris
Columbine High School
Archives of Harry Stephen Keeler
Central Park at night



























































Uhh..ooohhhhkkkkaaaaaaayyy….
Mr. Allen, the number for Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital in Manhattan is (212) 238-7000. They are located at 227 Madison Ave., between 36th and 37th Streets. They take walk-ins.
Sincerely,
Mr. Nose
Someone came. Finally. I thought I’d be lost forever. Thanks.
Very cerebral. Who ever thought of all that space out there? I read this on my computer at work and the browser wrapped the text so it all appeared in a box. But on my Mac at home it creates the “wanted” effect.
Not a day went by when my grandfather wasn’t heard to say “Grandson, if you remember anything in life, let it be this; don’t ever wander away from the internet alone!” Of course the internet didn’t even exist back when my grandfather was alive. So, yeah, we all used to wonder about Grandpa an awful lot.
Mark, I don’t think you’re supposed to break the Adderall capsules open before taking.
dude….thats like, out there….
This might as well have been written in Mandarin.
Darlin’ I love ya, but sometimes you give me a headache.
xxoo
Ida
you didn’t spell check
if you’d just gone to hebrew school…..