Mark Allen

If I could just say a few… *cough!* *cough!* …uh, okay this *cough!* *h-a-a-a-c-c-k-k!* *harf! harf!* Oop! Okay… uhhhh- a-a-a-a-c-c-c-k-k! *ahem!* *ahem!* *a-HEM!!!* *spu… uh… ewww!* (dribble) (wipe) *poot!* *fart!* …oops. Excuse me. Okay… sorry. Now… um… ow! (drop) (flutter) (flutter) (whisp) (fly) (fall) (flutter) Oh god! (bend over, pick up) (grab) (paper-cut) Ow! God! Geez! *crinkle* *crinkle* (collect) *shuffle* *shuffle* *tap!* *tap!* I… (stand up) *hurumpf!* *hurumpf!* I… *cough!* *cough!* *ack!* *w-h-e-e-e-z-z-e!* *w-h-h-h-h- eeeeeeeZZZ!* Ack! Ack! *cough!* *grizzle!* *wheeze!* (gasp) (inhale) Oh… *kaf!* oh, who… oh, thanks! (reach) (take) Thank you. (twist) (pop) (tilt) *glug-glug-glug- glug-glug-glip-glip!* Aaahhh… *fart!* Whoops! Heh heh. (place) Okay… allright um… I… *burp!* Eek! Whoops! Oh I’m so sor-*b-u-u-u-u- r-r-p-p!!!*-ry! Auugh!!! *fart!* Oh! Oh! Sorry.. so… *cough!* *cough-fart!* Augh! *cough-fart!* Oh …augh! No! Excuse… (slip) Whoops… (drop) oh god… my pencil again (bend over) (pick up) *jab!* Ow! Oh… my eye! augh! *fa-a-a-a-r-t!* Oh my god! Ow! Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow! Wow-wo-wo-wo- wo-o-o-o-w-w-w!! Ow!! God! Oh… o-o-o-o-o-u-u-u-u-g-g-g-h-h… whew. *gulp!* God… that hurt. *harrrumpf!* *gasp!* Okay… uh… (drop) …oh god not again. (bend over) (pick up) *bump* (tilt) (l-e-e-e-a-a-a-n-n-n…) Oh god no! (tilt) *C-C-C-R-R-A-A-A- S-S-S-H-H-H-H-!-!-!* *smash!* *crunch* tinkle!* *rattle!* *S-S-S-M-A-A-A- S-H-H-H-!-!-!* (roll… roll…) *tip-tap-tip-tip-tip-ip-ip-ip!* Oh… god! Uhhh… oh… geez. Okay… oh, hi… oh yea.. thanks. (help) (smile) (bend) (grasp) Oh thank you. (gratitude) (l-i-i-i-f-t) *grunt!* *ugh!* (l-e-e-e-a-a-n) *thud!* *tump!* *thud-thud-ud-ud-ud!* (walk back over) Um… geez… sorry. Okay… *smooth* *smooth* *brush* *brush* *flick* Okay… *tap* *tap* *russle* *russle* *tap* *tap* oh… hey it’s wobbly now! Cheap piece of… oh never… *cough!* *cough!* ugh… *cough!* can I get my wat… oh, oh… never… oh… okay. *cough!* Alright… make a note here… my pencil… oh… (bend over) (pick up) Okay then… write down something here… *snap!* …oh… oh god! My pencil tip broke… oh, does anybody? Huh? Oh wait! Ah-ha! (lift) (reach into) Ah-ha! Pocket knife… *flick!* Haha! No… wait, that’s a magnifying glass… oh (close) *flick!* ah-ha! Hee! Ha! Ha! *gleem* The big one! Mmm… sharp! Okay… (reach down) *whittle!* *whittle!* *whittle!* *STAB!* AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!! (drop) (grab) AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! No!! AAAuuuuggghhh!!!!!!! *spurt!* *spurt!* *bleed!* Auuugghhh!! Nooo!! *spurt!* *red!* *spurt!* *bleed!* Auuuggghhhnnnooo!! Blood! Augh! (bump) (panic) *spurt!* *bleed!* Blood! (red) Auuugguguuuuh huhuhuuuugh!! No! *cough!* (lean) *B-A-A-A-A-R- R-R-R-F-F-F-!-!-!* (bump) *H-U-U-U-U- R-R-R-L-L-L-!-!-!* (clutch) *gag!* (tilt) *C-C-C-R-R- A-A-A-S-S-S-H-H-H-H-!-!-!* *smash!* *crunch* tinkle!* *rattle!* *S-S-S-M-A- A-A-S-H-H-H-!-!-!* (roll… roll…) *tip-tap-tip-tip- tip-ip-ip-ip!* Auuuggghhh!!! *bleed!* *spurt!* (grab) (run) (scream) Aaaaaahhh… *blub-blu-bluber!!!* (run) (spin) *sob!* (slip) (slip) Aaauuu… (slide-kick) aauuu… aauuu… (slide-kick) aauuu… (slide-kick) (spazz) (airborn) …uuaack!!! (fall) *CA-RAAASSHH!!!* *THUUUDDD!* *tap-tap-tap-tap-tip- tip-ip-ip-ip-ip…* *gurgle* *exhale*

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